1. This page would make more sense if you know what happened to me on April 12, 2019, when I had a psychotic breakdown at my university because I stumbled upon a scene I wasn't supposed to see: Mike and Audrey, my prof and his prof. girlfriend having a secret date inside a classroom (to my perception). Here are all my diaries and papers writing about these events: 1. [[1 Porn the New Heroin]] (for more context) 2. [[January 15, 2022]] 3. Find the rest of it in Notion The diary entries attempting to make sense of my special situation: 1. Find the 2022 entries in Notion talking about it [[February 12, 2022]] 2. [[January 5, 2026]] 3. Kurzgesagt--simulate other people's reactions/fantasy/simulation (the seat of imagination) 1. if you happen to tell somebody a fantasy or imagined situation, it's no longer exclusive to you but now a story or NDH, or social field (perspectives, voice, thoughts, ideas from countless others) 2. Fantasy world--"thoughts and feelings shaped by things that never happened but that you've simulated and absorbed inside your mind in a way that's unique to you" 4. What properties does ISA have that no single one has? It's an entire thing that we have incomplete information about? ISA = eternal. Real World = Big Bang Origin-->Heat death. Multiverses are one at a time and yet simultaneous at the same time? We express One Main Sperm at a time while all others are unexpressed/dormant shadows. Why this providential idea that we are not special? That we are special because right now, we are alive, but then we are one of many iterations of the Big Bang with billions of years to go before our universe ends. ISA vs. Possibility = source of Heaven? Are they both the source of eternal Heaven? ISA is larger because it contains eternal life = Main Main Heaven? Is it possible that every single created soul that God intentionally put on Earth is "harvested" and integrated into the God Archetype they are created from? There are 12 Archetypes. How many Chosen Ones? Would God really make each soul experience being Jesus as Alpha and Omega every time? What would be just? Would every single soul be as special as me? I need more wisdom God. My consciousness is infinitely lucky, but I wonder what my telos is. Is it to become Norr Weston? Configurations of people? If I were really the Chosen One, I would feel bad that it's just *my turn* and that it's arbitrary because everybody in history will eventually be me. But then would I care? At least it's me this time right? But then I don't see how this Love Story isn't the True One--or the Main Story that's too perfect to be just another configuration of circumstances. All the others like Ai-ni are virtual reality? Or simulations? Illusions? I'm tempted to think there's only one shot of the universe. What really happened before the Big Bang. 5. Conceptual parallel bridge between ideas of dark matter, dark energy, and ordinary matter 6. Bernard Carr theory NDEs soulscienceconnect IG save https://www.instagram.com/soulscienceconnect/p/Davr-uLALlb/