Another D-Day in April 12, 2019 when I met my doom, the culmination of releasing ALL_GO to Paolo Manalo and other profs in my department who caught wind of my creative way to talk about two profs, one I was infatuated with and one who I envied. To my perspective, I was seduced by my professor, Prof. Mike Falgui, to follow him up the stairs at CAL Building near the library, when he suggestively drank from a water fountain. In my stupidity I came up to him thinking it was an invitation. At least to me, it looked like he'd wanted me to approach him. I've written about this incident somewhere in my diaries (you can search for them if you wanted) and I'm too lazy to recap the entire thing again and again, but the long and short of it was that I was promptly shocked that Prof. Mike led me to meet Prof. Audrey, the ex-girlfriend or maybe girlfriend at the time, when he knowingly or not attempted to get me to follow him, because when I pursued him, I was greeted by Prof. Audrey sitting on the table in one classroom where they were dating inside, or meeting up for some purpose I couldn't have known. It's like, from my perspective, I was shocked to discover that I'd walked in on something intimate, and that shook something inside me that all I felt at the time was betrayal and inner rage that I had to let out, and which led to my mental breakdown where I proceeded to utter obscenities at CAL, no longer caring about how other people perceived me. Prof. Audrey, fortunately, followed me and guided me back to my condo as if she were in on it and was subject to a battery of questions from me regarding what happened to me involving cryptic hints about Prof. Manalo's involvement in the critical response to my ALL_GO draft that led to that point. For the next few hours, I was a blabbering wreck as I experienced my first full-blown manic episode where I uttered all kinds of word vomit, puns, rage-filled obscenities, in a state of mind that was thoroughly shocked and out of control, perhaps jolted by betrayal trauma as I had been very obsessed with the idea of gaining Prof. Mike's approval and affection at the time. I regret everything about that day and wish I could take back some of the things I said to Prof. Audrey and wish that I hadn't been manic. But God had other plans that overwhelmed my trauma. As always, God's plans worked out such that I no longer feel the sting of April 12 even though I could say at some point that my world fell apart on that day where I separate a Before and After (the event) in my life where events indelibly changed how I saw the world and how the world saw me and my agency over my own mind and what I'm actually capable of doing.