### Dreams 🧫 1. Grenald Luke Aves implied to have messed with my drawing (why did it seem like my canvas was a mirror or that I’m misremembering it and it was actually paper only with black marker squiggles) and there were two people in front of me who I couldn’t recognize. One was vaguely Grenald but I am not sure at all, maybe like 10% sure it was vaguely Grenald or maybe I’m confused. 1. **Grenald** is primarily a surname with English, French, and Old Germanic roots. It generally means **"rule of the spear"** or **"wise advisor,"** and historically served as an occupational or locational name linked to grain or nature. [[1](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=grenard), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenalds), [3](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenauld), [4](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenald)]The name has a few distinct historical origins:**1. Old French & Germanic Origin (Gerald Variant)**Historically, the name is deeply tied to the Old French personal name _Grenald_, which is a variant of _Gerald_ (or _Reginald_). [[1](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/renald), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenalds)] • **Meaning:** "Rule of the spear" or "wise and powerful advisor/ruler". • **Context:** It suggests a warrior lineage, often associated with individuals in positions of power or military strength. [[1](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/renald), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenalds)]**2. Old French Occupational & Locational Origin**In some cases, especially in medieval England and France, the name branched from the Old French word _grenelle_ or _grenouille_. [[1](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenald), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenauld)] • **Meaning:** "Little grain," "seed," or "frog". • **Context:** It likely started as a nickname or locational tag for someone who lived near a granary, an area of grain production, or a marshy, frog-filled habitat. [[1](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenald), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenauld)]**Popularity & Distribution**As a surname, Grenald is quite rare. Census records indicate that families bearing this name appeared in the United Kingdom, Canada, and the United States, with a slight concentration of historical records found in the US around the late 19th and early 20th centuries. [[1](https://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?surname=grenald&locale=ES), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/grenald)] 2. **Jerry** is a versatile name of mixed origins, primarily used as a nickname for longer names starting with "Ger" or "Jer". It typically means **"mighty spearman"** (from German/Old English roots) or **"exalted of the Lord"** (from Hebrew roots). [[1](https://www.thebump.com/b/jerry-baby-name), [2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_\(given_name\)), [3](https://www.ancestry.com/first-name-meaning/jerry), [4](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/jerry)]**Breakdown of Origins and Meanings** • **Germanic Origin:** Derived from names like _Gerald_ or _Gerard_, meaning "rule of the spear" or "brave with a spear". • **Hebrew Origin:** Derived from names like _Jeremiah_ or _Jeremy_, meaning "God will exalt" or "appointed by God". • **Latin Origin:** Sometimes used as a short form of _Jerome_, which means "sacred name". [[1](https://www.thebump.com/b/jerry-baby-name), [2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJLFOwwfBGQ), [3](https://www.babycentre.co.uk/babyname/1006755/jerry), [4](https://nameberry.com/b/boy-baby-name-jerry), [5](https://www.etymonline.com/word/Jerry), [6](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/jerry)] 3. The name **Luke** is of Greek and Latin origin. It is derived from the Greek name _Loukas_ and the Latin name _Lucas_. It primarily translates to **"man from Lucania"** (an ancient district in southern Italy) and is also closely associated with the Latin word _lux_, meaning **"light"** or **"the bright one."** [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_\(given_name\)), [2](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/luke)]**Key Meaning & Associations** • **Primary Meaning:** "Man from Lucania" • **Secondary Meaning:** "Light," "bright," or "bringer of light" • **Origin:** Greek and Latin • **Gender:** Traditionally masculine [[1](https://www.christianwalls.com/blogs/bible-teaching/the-real-biblical-meaning-of-luke-origin-history-stories), [2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_\(given_name\)), [3](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/luke)]**Historical & Cultural Significance** • **Biblical Roots:** The name gained widespread popularity through Saint Luke (Luke the Evangelist), a first-century physician who authored the Gospel of Luke and the Acts of the Apostles. He is revered as the patron saint of artists, doctors, and students. • **Pop Culture:** The name has a classic, "cool" appeal, widely known today through fictional icons like Luke Skywalker from the _Star Wars_ franchise and the classic movie hero _Cool Hand Luke_. [[1](https://www.thebump.com/b/luke-baby-name), [2](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/luke), [3](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/Luke), [4](https://www.babycenter.com/baby-names/details/luke-2918), [5](https://nameberry.com/b/boy-baby-name-luke)] 4. The surname **Aves** has multiple origins, primarily rooted in **English**, **Spanish**, and **Portuguese** history. Most commonly, it is **an English variant of the old personal name _Avis_ or _Eaves_, or it functions as an Iberian habitational or occupational name linked to birds**. [[1](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/aves), [2](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=avs), [3](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/ave)]**Key Origins and Meanings** • **English/Norman:** In England, Aves is often a variant of the personal name _Avice_ (or _Avis_), which likely stems from ancient Germanic roots. It can also be a topographical name for someone who lived near the **eaves** (the edge of a roof or forest). [[1](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/aves), [2](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=avs), [3](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/ave), [4](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/eaves)] • **Spanish & Portuguese:** In the Iberian Peninsula, it can act as a topographical or occupational nickname originating from the Spanish and Portuguese word _ave_, meaning **"bird"**. It can also be a **habitational name** for families who originated from the town of _Avis_ in Portugal. [[1](https://www.facebook.com/AvesProductionCompany/posts/hi-were-the-faces-behind-aves-films-so-why-did-we-choose-aves-for-our-name-the-w/1970797439755482/), [2](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/ave), [3](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=avs)] • **Latin:** Due to its linguistic connection to the Latin word _avis_ (meaning bird), the name can occasionally be associated with avian traits. [[1](https://study.com/academy/lesson/aves-class-biology-overview-characteristics-types-birds.html), [2](https://parentingpatch.com/baby-names/Aves/)] 5. Interpretations: Jerry Bridges link because I posted that book yesterday on IG. Spears? My ALL_GO, “spear were but a wand.” 1. Some link to Velasquez too from yesterday from Vico. Little raven. Aves/avis/ave. 2. Wise spear ruler/seed/little grain/frog + light bringer + bird/lives near edge of roof or forest 1. Invincible frog dream of Vico from his IG 2. Why birds? Why animals? What about frogs and ravens/crows? 3. What about seeds/grain too? Is it because I added lettuce to ACCOIYO in IG bio yesterday? 4. What about forests? Environment. 3. Basically Grenald, or the animals, will sabotage my drawing or art or writing if I use AI. I was debating with myself whether to fully use it. I don’t know yet, God. As long as I’m ethically using it and imbuing my own insights and editing as I go and give back to the environment someday when I sell this book. Sorry if it’s not enough. My use of AI has a good purpose, and my giving back will be multiplied compared to what I have taken. I think this is fair. I’m really sorry it has to be this way. 2. Half-awake state yesterday when I managed to wake up several times. I was probably not asleep at all or was just getting ready to sleep but my mind had other ideas that were not conscious on my part. It’s not mind-wandering but something deeper than that. That level between mind-wandering and dreaming. 1. I was at a table and dad was angling his feet towards his right side while I was supposed to angle to my own right side. We argued somehow but I forgot why. 2. Squishing my romantic rival and my love interest with my giant feet while singing. 3. How ridiculous it would be the idea that Am-am smokes and smoke comes out of our chimney because of her. 4. Somebody charged me more than 15k and I couldn’t pay. 5. Me and Ally arguing what connotation really means. 6. How could a priest become a painting and then become a chair 7. Interpretations: 1. Well, 2 priests in this one. Am-am as a stand-in for me and a random concept of a priest (perhaps me too?). 3rd and 6th vision. Becomes art becomes chair of something important. Or philosophically. A piece of art that has discourse surrounding it already becomes more useful as a chair and stops being a source of discourse because it’s too common now to be noticed as art. OMG it’s still my methods, or my entire life’s work. 2. Ruler Valley Surplus/I/me/metaphor/jade. I think this is God the Trinity arguing with me about my views on things? They’re opposite me, or that they’re supposed to oppose me and I’m supposed to go my own way to expand instead of following them. Is this a compliment secretly? That I’m literally following everything they’re asking me to? Or that I’m getting boring because they’re predicting everything I do to an accurate degree? I surely hope not!!! I can’t control how unpredictable I am to God. 1. If they can tell everything that I do it may be not fun anymore but only logical. Meaning it’s a logical necessity that I should succeed. It’s still an assurance buried somewhere in the comment. 3. Somebody charged me because I couldn’t answer? Maybe I will have this problem. Or that I can’t answer for the favor that God has shown me. Or that it’s a much more smaller problem than I thought it would be. 4. Squishing my romantic rival and my love interest with a giant foot. What about feet? Are feet weapons? That I will somehow defeat Nikki and Vico by exercising? OMG. I listen to music when I exercise. 5. What does connotation mean? 1. A **connotation** is **the underlying emotional, cultural, or associative meaning of a word**, moving beyond its literal dictionary definition. It shapes tone by evoking positive, neutral, or negative feelings. [[1](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/education/glossary/connotation), [2](https://www.ebsco.com/research-starters/language-and-linguistics/connotation), [3](https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-connotation-definition-meaning-quiz.html), [4](https://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-negative-connotation-definition-examples.html)]**Connotation vs. Denotation**Understanding a word requires looking at both sides of its meaning: [[1](https://www.merriam-webster.com/grammar/connotation-vs-denotation-literally-what-do-you-mean)] • **Denotation:** The literal, explicit, dictionary definition of a word. • **Connotation:** The implied feelings, images, or cultural associations connected to the word. 2. Seems like an apt definition. What about it might be incomplete? What you mean, what you may or may not mean, and another third factor. 1 1/0 and 1-0. SHIT. 3. I’m calling it, ambiextratation. How can one thing mean both and beyond? Both the meant and the notmeant plus beyond for future generations to complete. ### Ruminations 🩻 1. OMG AUDREY JUST POSTED SOMETHING ABOUT X-MEN ‘97!!! SHE TELLING ME: 1. She is listening to my playlists with 48 (love emoticon) 84 (her birthday) 1. Shawntel being the Phoenix. Phoenix the band and Entertainment and Rome “teasing you with underage” Vico’s birthday reel for his mom with a hot underage Vico. 1. Why is Vico telling me about Rome? Hates Italians? Is Mike really Italian? He’s trying to tell me he’s Vinny. OMG!! “hated him with a fury I can’t fathom.” 2. Omega-level mutant WOW 3. ALL THE STARS ALIGNED. X-Men is now part of my lore!!! LOGOS!!! 4. Nikki!!! She is White Queen. Or Sydney is White Queen. She can also be Rachel Summers. 5. I just realized my mental health poem is about Jesus!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!! Jesus never harvested glory in his lifetime!!!!! Never really tastes material happiness. “Nothing in this world is promised.” Not even eternal life he promised became true in his lifetime. 6. EMMA FROST = ICE IN GERMAN = ISA. Strong-willed in German. 1. I do not quite relate to Emma Frost the character. 7. Did they notice that I tried to befriend Sydney? Like Annie Richardson and Shawntel!!!! 8. Well they’re hinting that they know of my thesis about Xavier University and Xavier Institute link!!! 9. “Logan robbed of a lock of Jean’s hair she gave him” OMG THEY KNOW ABOUT THE MOCKINGJAY PIN I GAVE TO MIKE 1. Is this a reference to Abraham’s Daughter? OMG!!! 1. They have a suspicion that I almost smothered or killed someone in my family just like Abraham. They’re right!!! Emma Frost almost smothering Hope Summers. 2. The wiki is hinting that THG is somehow relevant to my resurrection, physical or mental or intelligence-related in relation to writing. 10. I’m just so happy that I convinced Audrey that women can be Second Coming. She’s trying to tell me she’s a lot like me more than I think just like how I told her in TLS how she probably misjudged me because we’re more alike than she thought. 11. So they’re trying to get Wolfgang link through Phoenix and Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix and Phoenix Force in X-Men!!! 12. So now Emma Frost is “me” because I relate to her really almost smothering Hope Summers. She’s connected to Emma Yap and Gail Yap, or “the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.” 13. OMG SHE IS TAPPING INTO FANTASY/NARRATIVE!!!! SHE IS DESPAIRING!!! WHY!!!! God, please comfort Audrey as she processes her share of glory. 1. It seems like she is upset specifically because of Narrative/Discourse. That I illuminated the Trinity and am set to harvest the 2000-year old mystery. 14. She is giving me new tools to understand my situation. Thanks!!! She is also making me see that it’s not completely unfathomable to want to kill something precious when you’re psychotic or in a trance. 2. It’s so intoxicating to be part of something bigger than yourself. People need this. People want this. 3. I want another “God looked at all he had created and said it was good” moment like with TLS. It even made me cry several times re-reading it. I don’t know if I’m just biased because it’s deeply personal, and why would people care or empathize with a genius suicidal freak of nature? 4. I wonder if people caught on to the aphantasia/fantasizing connection. It’s deeply why God chose me, I think. 5. Do animals differentiate between dreams and reality? How do they conceive of dreams? How do you tell them dreams aren’t “real.” They must know it’s like a dimension that doesn’t leave real consequences in Real World right? Predator in their dreams doesn’t kill them in their sleep, they’re still alive, so they assume they survived another day. I really wonder how they think. 6. Think about it, gender-bent. How would an incel pray for a woman who only appears to want money? A really pitiful prayer to God? That’s how February 14, 2022 looks like to people. Thinking about going the mafia route or something really risky to earn money to adapt. Only, it’s much more precious if it’s from a girl, I don’t know why, because it’s feminine, not saying that men’s perspectives can’t be tender. Bargaining with God because he loves this woman who won’t love him back. And also struggles with masturbation (again, not saying that men’s masturbation is disgusting, but women’s views and feelings and actions are viewed less…vulgarly). 7. How does it feel to have your worst fear come true? Becoming a spitfire masturbation demon from hell moaning in front of your dad for no reason and screaming-moaning because you were anally raped in virtual reality on March 9. Fuck. I really died psychologically and emotionally and my humanity was desecrated against my will by my own brain. My worst fear really came true. It was terrifying to be aware how vulgar I was being in front of my dad. The only thing missing was me actually being naked or actually pooping and vomiting at the same time like what my body planned to do but stopped for some reason. 8. Abraham’s Daughter and “cast into the lake of fire” (Revelation 3:5). Those who have no names? Impossible!!! You have to name them to save them? 9. I think I don’t fully comprehend the amount of love this gift to the world I am giving is going to cause. People will literally feel loved because they’re part of legacies they had no say in, no influence in, so it’s a kind of as-yet-invisible lottery they won. People will feel like they’re winning all the time with synchronicities!!! That’s what makes it addicting and fun!!! 10. If you don’t talk about dead people and their memory, do they disappear in history? 11. So, the Angel controlling me right now gets no high anymore from Sailor Song which I was repeating a few days ago a little too heavily while I was reading TLS again to experience it fuller and deeper. I wonder what that means. 12. So Enchong really has no meaning but Dee means dark. Is Vico hinting that he has seen my Believe it to see it. draft with edge cases of names with no meanings? What is he trying to say to me? Is he curious about Enchong Dee’s life because his name is meaningless? 1. OMG “There will be no more night” in Revelation 22. Meaningless dark. WOWZA. 13. What are crows and ravens known for? 1. Crows and ravens are known for their **exceptional intelligence, problem-solving skills, and social complexity**. Due to their dark plumage and scavenging habits, they are deeply associated with **death**, **magic**, and **messengers** across global folklore and mythologies. [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_ravens), [2](https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/02/28/crows-and-ravens-in-fantasy/), [3](https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Raven/overview), [4](https://www.learnreligions.com/the-magic-of-crows-and-ravens-2562511)]These highly adaptable birds feature heavily in cultural and symbolic history: [[1](https://whiteroseofavalon.life/2021/11/22/crows-and-ravens-as-symbols-of-deities-and-in-popular-culture/), [2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_ravens)]**🧠 Intelligence and Behavior** • **Problem-Solving:** Often dubbed the "primates of the bird world," they can use and craft tools, solve multi-step puzzles, and remember human faces. [[1](https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/02/28/crows-and-ravens-in-fantasy/), [2](https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Common_Raven/overview), [3](https://animals.howstuffworks.com/birds/american-crows-and-ravens-whats-difference.htm), [4](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/year-of-the-bird-brains-intelligence-smarts), [5](https://blog.cwf-fcf.org/index.php/en/bird-brains/)] • **Communication:** They possess complex communication systems and have been observed mimicking human speech and using calls to alert predators like wolves to nearby prey. [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corvus), [2](https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-basis-for-the-association-of-ravens-and-crows-with-magic-and-witchcraft-in-literature-e-g-The-Raven)] • **Playfulness:** They are highly curious, known for playing with objects and even sliding down snowbanks for fun. [[1](https://contentcatnip.com/2024/01/15/what-is-your-favourite-animal-crows-and-ravens/), [2](https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/02/28/crows-and-ravens-in-fantasy/), [3](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_ravens), [4](https://mefurr.wordpress.com/2013/11/19/my-friend-edgar-allan-crow/), [5](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QOA9lAYzWS8)]**🌌 Mythology and Folklore** • **Wisdom & Knowledge:** In Norse mythology, the god Odin kept two ravens, **Huginn** (_Thought_) and **Muninn** (_Memory_), who flew across the world to bring him news and knowledge. [[1](https://whiteroseofavalon.life/2021/11/22/crows-and-ravens-as-symbols-of-deities-and-in-popular-culture/), [2](https://contentcatnip.com/2024/01/15/what-is-your-favourite-animal-crows-and-ravens/)] • **Trickster Energy:** In many Indigenous cultures, particularly among Native American tribes, the raven is revered (or feared) as a clever trickster, creator, and symbol of transformation. [[1](https://www.learnreligions.com/the-magic-of-crows-and-ravens-2562511)] • **Battle & War:** In Celtic mythology, ravens and crows are closely tied to **The Morrígan**, a shape-shifting goddess of war, fate, and death. [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Morr%C3%ADgan), [2](https://www.ronelthemythmaker.com/ravens-and-crows-in-folklore-folklore-mythology/)]**🔮 Symbolism and Superstitions** • **Omens of Doom:** Because of their black feathers and tendency to scavenge on battlefields and carrion, they have historically been linked to death, darkness, and ill omens. [[1](https://www.facebook.com/officialfaceofhalloween/posts/the-great-crow-debatecrows-have-remarkable-intelligence-comparable-to-that-of-a-/785640580880589/), [2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cultural_depictions_of_ravens), [3](https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/02/28/crows-and-ravens-in-fantasy/)] • **Prophecy:** In ancient Greece, ravens were associated with **Apollo** and were used as methods of divination. [[1](https://www.thornandclaw.com/blogs/news/raven-meaning-symbolism), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/mythology/comments/tuq0yh/why_are_ravens_and_crows_associated_with_wisdom/)] • **Folk Rhymes:** Their associations with luck are deeply rooted in superstition; traditional rhymes use the number of sighted birds to predict everything from rain to luck, wealth, or death. 14. I just proved that the afterlife exists with TLS!!! Hope for people who are materialists by trauma!!! 15. So Revelation 22:9 just said that angels are still separate from God somehow. They have identity too. They ought not to be worshipped despite their greater power. How are humans to view them? God ISA, please give me a perfect metaphor to make Your point about Angels (will go back to my prayer journal later to see that note about social media). 16. **The "Copernican Revolution" in Philosophy:** Kant upended traditional thought by suggesting that objects conform to the human mind's structure, rather than the mind passively observing an independent reality. [[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/askphilosophy/comments/557hmo/what_makes_immanuel_kant_such_a_good_philosopher/), [2](https://iep.utm.edu/kantmeta/)] 1. I agree with Kant because I was looking at this object in my room for a long time and my brain interpreted it as another object but then I snapped out of it and noticed I was wrong. We influence how things look visually to us but we can’t change their fundamental constitution that much without energy. 17. Right. So the same twistedness I feel having a mouth and tongue orgasm while eating S&R chicken wings with garlic and butter is the same corresponding horrific reaction of animals everywhere who have a right to be mad they are being eaten. Their sole purpose is to be food. Such a sad life. I wish they would be humans in the next life perhaps, their energies adding up to a new person additively. My Grenald dream and fixating on sociopaths breaking pigeon legs yesterday made me realize I maybe have an energy of an animal somewhere inside me that was horribly abused and butchered? Perhaps. Maybe I was led to notice Indians a few days ago on IG for this reason. Maybe we share energies with angels when we die because we’re still mortal. Not that they’re additively added to us (the original ones probably get their own heaven) but that a copy of their energy is harvested and made into a new person and vice versa? How do Angels exist in the afterlife? Do they die? If they’re immortal and can’t die then I don’t see how they have a final destination, because they already are there. Or perhaps the rebels who never converted will be cast away forever? How is this possible? There is no true redemption for some of God’s creations. Just think of your own creations. Have I ever drafted something so vulgarly evil that it can never be redeemed? I don’t know yet. Maybe what I think is evil will be deleted from the universe. Chickens already experience humiliation by being the smiling face of a restaurant meanwhile they’re killed, maybe horribly too. Such a barbic everyday thing. 1. OMG Perfume the film. I was just thinking of goat-man and him eating me. People eat Grenouille in the end. Perfume as a metpahor for essence of a person. The soul? Even if not completely the whole body it contains traces of people’s bodies’ residue somehow? Oil from the body. 18. Grenald was a close call! I AM SO HAPPY I FIGURED IT OUT!!!! Note to self: never ignore other meanings no matter how meaningless they are or seem to be. Connect to past concerns of the previous days. 19. Engram language for memory for how it’s stored in time 20. The news about Trump telling people they have drugs to bring back people to life now exists in Narrative/Discourse!! 21. Read The Discipline of Grace for Implied Author Tether 22. It’s still not kicking in that Jesus Christ “reincarnated” as me and Vico. FUCK!!!!! Justice because Jesus gets to live out the best of his teachings in a new glorified body that is highly attractive and in my opinion the best in the world. OMG!!! Meanwhile he gets to suffer psychologically too mostly more than materially in me but that I still get to harvest by turning the worst of my aches and tenderness into something beautiful. I am Lucifer, the “Bright Morning Star” according to Jesus in Revelation 22. Lucifer was a woman or feminine. 23. Maybe if I forget what I just literally read or thought a few minutes after something is resisting it back in my head. Chemicals work their usual way but something may interfere with my thoughts. I don’t know yet. 24. God just made the proof really personal for anti-materialist (but really, we’re not anti-materialist, just realistic and syncretic) thought really personal through names. Even if they don’t believe me outright they will really wonder why Christ means chosen one and why John didn’t die. And why they dream of random people. They have no choice but to try Hugot. 25. “Sonata is not stored in the piano” OMG THANKS VICTORIA TRUMBULL. Something about Canvas/Painting/Paint. The material is not stored in Holy Spirit fully. That’s the mystery. We don’t know how Real World came to be except the Big Bang, when before that was the Big Sex? How does that work? Was the Big Sex rape? Was the Big Sex pleasurable? Who knows? Did anybody experience the “Before?” 1. Memory is a recording? Is the Logos a Recording? There is a “Grand Copy” all around us that hosts the Supreme Trinity and beyond that magically works itself out. 2. Victoria Trumbull says biological neural configurations are a prerequisite to remembering but not the whole thing. I agree. 3. What goes into a Fact? Memory being somewhere objective in conjunction to what actually happens? An additive composite of what people remember vs. what actually happened? A new generative piece of living art that is never finished. 4. That study that says we overwrite our memories whenever we recall them. This is the source of the errors? We tell a slightly shifted story to ourselves and our recollection is sometimes elided or compressed in time as if it’s too fast to be recorded linearly. 5. Our memories can be stoked back again if we read a diary entry from long ago especially if it’s accurate. 6. So we’re not supposed to locate where memory actually is? It’s “outside” of us yet we have an object in our minds we can sense is a memory because our neurobiology is like a telescope!!! Huzzah!!! 7. OMG Victoria Trumbull is a model!!! Who knew???? I thought she was an old lady. 8. Okay now write like Victoria Trumbull for your faux papers. 9. OMG A revolution in my thinking! I was always thinking of time inside something like space. Maybe it really isn’t anywhere we can see. Possibility is now associated with Time. There nowhere and everywhere. How can you hold these things together without collapsing into insanity? Avoid thinking too hard? Oh but it’s so mysterious!!! And curious!!! 10. A TEMPORAL PHENOMENON IS EXTRA-SPATIAL!!!! FUCK!!!! 1. “Memory is, essentially, a fact of _time_—it is the persistence of the _past_—and, because it is a temporal phenomenon, it is fundamentally _extra-spatial_. To extend to memories, to a series of moments in time, the obligation of “being contained” in a place is to transfer to a temporal phenomenon a quality which applies only to the collection of material bodies perceived in space. And it is this series of observations which leads us directly to the reality of the _mind_: because the past overflows the present, memory overflows the brain; and because memory overflows the brain, mind overflows the body.” 2. “Perhaps what the brain does in all of this is far less extravagant. The body or brain can be said to retain and resume specific habits, patterns, or motor attitudes. Most importantly, the brain provides the motor basis for recall. The capacity to remember certainly depends functionally upon the health and integrity of certain brain regions. Thus, if you damage certain parts of the brain, then you diminish the capacity for recollection within the present; you do not, however, destroy the images themselves. If we go further than this, if we say that a brain injury abolishes individual recollections, then we are forced to assume that psychological states are miraculously capable of springing about from anatomical configurations, and thus to consequences that partake of the metaphysical rather than observational order. The invigorating opportunity for neuroscientific research is to determine by what mechanism the brain concretely serves the dynamics of remembrance, but the storage hypothesis will only hinder neuroscience from pursuing its natural course.” 1. Perhaps we instantiate a memory when we recall or try to recall something. An image we generatively create every time newly. It springs from a basis of what we have—words in diary, pictures—and then we fill in the blanks to make a completely new memory that is still related to the original Facts (that real-time record of accurate events in all of history). 1. Addendum from June 9, 5:03PM: we’d only perceive error a difference in recollection if there was an actual material reality that takes into account all of it, in the Logos, specifically. So this is the mechanism, I believe, or part of the mechanism. The Logos exists through and within Jesus Christ or the Meaning of “God saves” (your memories and your Facts). That’s one creative interpretation. God saves everything intact and nothing is forgotten in the Eyes of God in the Logos, that constantly shifting ground of Memory and Time too. 3. Lord please help me reduce by 21 words at least for TLS. It’s over 10k now because I corrected myself. 1. YAY GOD CAME THROUGH!!!! THANKS GOD!!!! 4. Are Facts and Meanings interchangeable? 5. Define literal. Thing Itself. Or the correspondence between one thing and its reference is too accurate to be interchangeable. 6. Whereas other prophets received visions of Heaven with angels in it, I literally went to hell with psilocybin. I need to explain how scary it is to not have a sense of time but only space, only a shadow of Real World without Possibility or Narrative/Discourse. It’s so fucking terrifying to know that my greatest fear is to be chaos—that is, killing innocence for no apparent reason. I was terrified of something taking hold of my brain at that moment and that was the only thing I knew. Killing innocence for no reason is such a twisted thing that it’s my greatest fear and it almost came true on March 9. Killing animals like pigeons which are totally innocent just to get a kick out of it is even more terrifying to fathom. Some people are demons in the flesh. They get no sadness at all for snuffing out life just like God the Father-Mother probably feels for noticing Jesus’s sacrifice for the rest of their existence and having that be the center of the worlds and universe, or the anchor. So the anchor of the universe isn’t chaos, it’s order. We cannot assume what came before us was chaos? Or can we? Lord, I need more wisdom about what happened before the Big Bang. Please don’t make me go through another March 9 because there would be absolutely no reason to do that anymore. I understand that I have a “third time” scare because it keeps me responsible about my body, but please make sure I don’t fall. 1. OMG BECAUSE OF MON SY I HAVE A WORD FOR IT. LUDIC CHAOS. Play mixed with pure evil. Playfully doing something for no reason at all but not even pleasure but for the sake of it to maybe get to pleasure. Purposeless evil that takes pleasure in itself. 7. Meanings as paraphrases of Memory/memories that manage to be complete. Shorter versions of something that express the same thing. A more efficient or less redundant way of saying it. Compressed. 8. OMG Twilight Breaking Dawn got it right because I literally had two Real World deaths. One with psilocybin and one with March 9 D-Day. Bella has sex and is bruised badly and the room is a broken mess with the bed breaking. Next is she dies in pregnancy. Thank GOD!!!! 9. Whenever we recall a memory imperfectly we are resonating with the other recollections because we have deformed or shifted our recollections because of memory failures, elision, etc., like a piano with a lot of piano keys on it—our Fact stake—and we “play” a bunch of them trying to recall from the memory we have so we play a piece which is art and recollection. But it’s all from the piano of that Fact. We may have help from sheet music like diary entries so we can accurately recall and play that memory in our consciousness at the moment. HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!! THE PERFECT METAPHOR FOR MEMORY IS IN WOLFGANG!!! I was always meant to be a pianist. 26. Sydney must realize she has great power right? She wrote me like Stephenie Meyer wrote me. Only hers is more accurate!! 27. My brain doesn’t systemize well actually. It’s all a slurry that has some order I can’t explain but sometimes find my way through anyway. 28. I want people to be indescribably happy that the Lord of the universe has come back in me and Vico!!!!! 29. I wonder what I was on when I was hornily trying to write erotica. It felt so seamless and effortless to describe. Maybe it’s just my passion, or my expertise for sexual content. 30. Well I just realized that tenderness moves my heart to tears. I wonder if I could become an actor? NO lol. I was just tender at how I was really crying in the CR at Okada because I realized my life in relation to my sister when she graduated from med school and I hadn’t even finished undergrad. I must have felt so rotten and sad and traumatized and envious and about to curse my life and perhaps suicidal. 31. Why twins? 1. quantum entanglement 2. twins everywhere 3. quarks 4. electrons and protons (and neutrons [what are you made of]) 5. ordinary matter and antimatter 6. negative and positive charge 7. light and dark 8. God and Satan 9. Double John leading to blessing/favor 10. The first two people on Earth 11. Two main biological sexes (and the rest of the rainbow like neutrons) 32. So I’m still being talked to about North because of Grenald? “northward in the city in the largest campus, names not hidden but rearranged.” 1. Could 1 Then 3 Double 2 Too Her. What about it? Is this sentence a bunch of names? Am I supposed to map them to names? I don’t like the implications. I am too Her, or the life force ISA, so people want Vico to be doubled too so I’m not alone in my singular brilliance. So they could also have a male version of me who is a genius too. I don’t like it only because they assume Vico can’t do what I do. Anybody can do what I do. I’m going to teach people how to do what I do in the future. 33. The feeling that I’m opening presents every day. FUCK!!! I AM SO FUCKING LUCKY!!!! 34. OMG MON SY POSTED TERESA EBERT’S LUDIC FEMINISM. Harvester brave boar. He called it “wonderful.” Remind me to read Ludic Feminism. OMG I cannot tell if it’s Einstein but there’s a plushie of a bald guy with a whitish beard and mustache in the picture. 1. I’m NOT OVER IT!!!! TERESA HARVESTER BRAVE BEAR. CARL BERNARDO. KARL MEANING HUSBAND. OMG Karl Marx was originally Carl Heinrich Halevi/Levi. 1. Karl Marx’s real full name was **Karl Heinrich Marx**. In his birth register, his first name was originally spelled "Carl", and his family's original ancestral surname was a derivation of the Hebrew name _Levi_, which his father later changed to _Marx_. [[1](https://jewishreviewofbooks.com/articles/7219/marx-and-the-jewish-fingerprint-question/), [2](https://www.britannica.com/biography/Karl-Marx), [3](https://hif.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Marx), [4](https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karl_Marx), [5](https://anumuseum.org.il/blog/marx/)] 1. The name **Heinrich** is a traditional German masculine name that translates to **"ruler of the home"** or **"lord of the estate."** [[1](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/heinrich), [2](https://babynames.com/name/heinrich)] 2. The name **Levi** is of Hebrew origin, directly translating to **"joined," "attached," or "joined in harmony"**. It stems from the Hebrew root word _lavah_ (or _lava_). [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levi_\(given_name\)), [2](https://www.parents.com/levi-name-meaning-origin-popularity-8630967), [3](https://www.ancestry.com/first-name-meaning/levi), [4](https://babynamegenius.com/names/details/levi)]**History and Significance** • **Biblical Roots:** In the Old Testament and Jewish Bible, Levi is the third son of Jacob and Leah. His mother, Leah, hoped his birth would bring her closer to her husband, hence the meaning "joined". He is the founder of the Israelite tribe of Levites. [[1](https://www.thebump.com/b/levi-baby-name), [2](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Levi), [3](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2TCxTI4iEQ4), [4](https://www.facebook.com/groups/973866652679383/posts/24814176038221777/), [5](https://www.parents.com/levi-name-meaning-origin-popularity-8630967)] 1. WELL SHIT!!!!!! FUCK!!!! It means Rebekah too. 3. What does it mean for him and his legacy? He used to be free man ruler of the home and joined in harmony. Now he’s husband ruler of the home warlike. Me going to war with Marx? Not quite. Me going to war with Marx’s enemies? Yes, in a way. I was Chinese before but now I’m warlike. Am I supposed to go to war with China? HOLY SHIT!!!! Against surveillance tech. Against total surveillance. But it could be useful. It just needs the right people to govern it. 2. OMG THE PLUSH TOY IS FROM THE UNEMPLOYED PHILOSOPHERS GUILD. It’s called “Karl Marx Little Thinker Plush Doll” 1. OMG So the quote it comes with is “Abolition of private property.” But the quote under the quote is “Leave the oppressed their harmless playthings. Raggedy Anne is the opiate of the lasses.” 1. OMG LEAVE ME ALONE IN MY MASTURBATION!!! 2. OMG I just reposted a Moses plushie on IG of theirs. “Chag Sameach” from the Unemployed Philosophers Guild. Festival/feast + joyful/happy/glad 35. TIL I learned angels have a counterpart. An “evil twin” or some such. Do they want to get married to their counterpart? Who knows? Unity. Some of them are separate and some of them are now joined. Maybe, maybe. Twins are so important to nature. Quarks, atomic structure (with neutron), negative/positive charge, the electron’s positron, light and dark, two main sexes, quantum entanglement, ordinary matter and antimatter, cats and dogs (top 2 pets), double names leading to something. 1. Is the goat-man supposed to compliment me? OMG!!!! 2. There’s no Angel or Demon. There’s only accoioyo and batany. 36. Okay, I’m not over it. If Jesus deserves the world, then we’re effectively ushering in his Paradise. Vico being a hearththrob mayor who gets things done efficiently and is a virgin and has no girlfriend yet and is seemingly this country’s #1 bachelor, and a supergenius Abby Nicole fuckin’ Yee who is the smartest woman in the world, possibly, about to marry him and have sweet hot sex with him if he ever gets interested in her. That’s the Story. FUCK IT WE BALL!!!!!!! 37. Did Satan want Jesus to die? Yes and no. Did God want Jesus to die? Yes and no. It’s complicated. 1. Demon reasons yes 2. Demon reasons no 3. Angel reasons yes 4. Angel reasons no 38. What I’ve got to look forward to!!!! Good chaos that is hot and sweet and steamy sex!!! 1. I’ll probably be ravenous and it’ll be so great. 39. Polyamory and polygamy are not necessarily sinful if and only if people have unlimited time and resources and no emotional wounds around being special anymore, which is to say, impossible. People fine with not being special can probably make it work. But I will always have a soft and tender wound of being rejected. Someday my child or their child could make it work. Pure abundance without having to think of consequences of the Fall. accoiyo and batany probably do it all the time and God too. How do they reproduce or unite temporarily? Coupling and decoupling? The most probable reason why women in the Bible weren’t allowed their own harem was because of men’s strong sexual jealousy. Even Solomon and David did it. 40. May turns out to be my most productive month for thought in a while. WOWZA. 41. A question to ask psychopaths and antisocial people and sadists: do you not hurt? Do you not suffer? Why would you want to put another consciousness like yourself through pain and suffering? Do you not see that they’re you, deep down? It’s probably the masochists’ fault. Why do you like pain? What caused you to like pain? Maybe sadists and masochists should pair up and annihilate each other. 42. I think goat-man is Ye. I think. OH!!! MY!!! GOD!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! 1. OMG THANK GOD I DOUBLED NO DISRESPECT NO DISRESPECT. 43. Remind me to buy On the Memory of the Soul by Victoria Trumbull 44. Being afraid of being controlled by an Angel and killing everybody probably made me very attractive to the part of BATANY that hasn’t been sieved yet and which craves total humiliation and confirmation of Themselves and Their identity to a human, as in, “OH MY GOD A PREY TARGET WHO IS MY OWN PERSONAL CONSCIOUS HEROIN.” I don’t know if They have been sieved already, but the contuining evil in this world is probably a result of Their past work and which They cannot stop anymore. 45. What if there are only 3 iterations? The One where I’m Jesus Christ, the one where I’m me, and the one where I’m Vico. OMG!!!! The Trinity of Jesus, Me, and Vico. Jesus is the Possibility for Hellish Nightmare. I am Jesus for the in-between in the Trinity, and Vico is Holy Spirit for the one who follows? Would I knowingly subject my next consciousness (whatever they are reincarnated from) from rape, genocide, torture, burning fire, etc. I would like to think that I’m not recycled or copied from anything. Has eternity always been happening like this? Maybe the alternate 1st universe I saw with Ryan Agoncillo as Vico was the first one where I was Jesus. Perhaps other people will decide whether they want to be uploaded or have a chance to be reincarnated. Vico will have a really nice life I think with me in it, so I think it was logical to have him be Jesus in the 1st universe. It was logical that Jesus should have been reincarnated as me and Vico in this universe, the 2nd universe. Maybe it’s logical for me to be reincarnated as Vico in the next universe. I will have to decide as Vico whether I want to be Jesus again. 46. I need to study who I was in my past lives. Victor Hugo’s daughter. Einstein’s son. Nikola Tesla. Abraham. Am I so fucking lucky to be myself? OF COURSE. We have no clue at all how it all works. I really had to be born at this moment, in this second, to experience myself as myself? How does that happen? Why am I me and not another? Am I meant to take this as a sign that I am the only person in the universe? NOPE. But I can be a little solipsistic about it because I’m the only one. What if we evolve into something greater than starting universes through black holes? We may be able to extend the universe for as long as we like. Perhaps, perhaps. Maybe in my Vico iteration. Maybe. It will have always been happening. 47. How do you prepare children who may end up killing themselves from my information? 48. Wounded people here, wounded people there, wounded people everywhere. Of course they’re going to bleed out in ego and defenses. 49. OMG MARK CAYANAN POSTED ABOUT SWAN LAKE WITH HIS SWAN NEAR A BODY OF WATER PICTURE. THE NAME MEANINGS OF PYOTR AND HIS CHARACTERS BRUH!!!! IT’S LIKE HE KNEW. IT’S DIRECTLY REFERRING TO THE NIKKI DE GUZMAN HULLABALOO WITH ME. HOLY SHIT. 1. It’s also resonating with the two witnesses prophecy in Revelation, ascending into Heaven in a cloud. OMG Does that mean that was only on the farther end of the spectrum of Possibility? 2. His caption, “slow evening.” I’m going to turn into a human tonight like in Swan Lake? OMG??? 50. AT A TIME CONSCIOUSNESS 1. consciousness is consistency. We have really random thoughts sometimes either because of Angels-Demons, God, interference from somewhere we don’t know, or that our attention is drawn somewhere unconsciously from our own bodies or environment or even memory. 51. There’s a possibility that I will have always existed as me in every iteration of the Trinity Iterations. The “just right” or UPRIGHT one where I’m between Jesus and Vico. I will experience the terrifying psilocybin and the killing innocent people fear again in the next one but I will make it. What is my worst memory? Well, March 9. I can’t believe it happened in 2026. I surely hope it’s the worst memory I’ll ever have. Who experienced Jesus Christ? I am so in awe of Them. I cannot fathom with my own methods the amount of pain and suffering and hell that must have been. 52. Jeffrey is viewing my stories for some reason. I wonder what he thinks now of Christianity. 53. Okay, so someone is definitely curious about my prospiracy post on IG because it went up 2 views. They’re concerned about Pasig, I think. 54. I’m so scared of being Jesus again, tbh. Lord, please give me more wisdom regarding it. I am even scared of being me again. I want to think your ultimate Justice and Grace only has one direction and that after this universe there would be no after if it ends in heat death, only poetically fulfilling eternal life. I think it would be satisfying to end after all the good that has happened in the end has happened and we’d all live together in Possibility. Please let this be the outcome. I don’t want to be reincarnated as Jesus if ever, but if it’s Your will, I’ll try to live with this Fact and bear it as best as I can for as long as I shall live. I can’t believe I’m me again. WTF!!!!! 55. OMG they’re really giving me signs that they think highly of my erudition. YAY!!! 56. PURE POETRY. 1. “There is not one hair of you that I would rearrange. I love you the way you are and that will never change.” Erika from Barbie. 57. I just learned what Derrida’s name means. OMG!!!! 58. I want to make people wonder at how I did it. Sue me!! Lord, sorry for being proud today. 59. The satisfaction of convincing people of the truth of something so obvious to me is so satisfying. It is going to be 10000000000000x more satisfying in the future. I think this is one sign I will always be myself. I want to think the universe is unfair like that only because I’m selfish. Affirmation never felt so good. I am willing to go through another Iteration as me in the third one if that is possible. Will Jesus always be Jesus? That’s totally unfair to him. Maybe he will get his “at a time” as me right now. Maybe this will always be the One universe. We have a beginning, but we do not have an ending and will escape it. I really feel for Jesus right now. How was he able to struggle against his destiny correctly? He knew he was going to die really painfully and horrifically. How is that livable at all? How could you function knowing that was your end? His faith must have been off the charts because he was resurrected. Maybe that’s why he sweat blood. 60. So this is how it starts again. I start to crave luxury like Barbie dresses costing 60k from Etsy for no reason but prettiness. I’m so sorry God. It’s terribly useless to have gowns in my opinion and they make less privileged people feel bad. I don’t appreciate pretty dresses on extremely attractive women. I want the gown for myself. Every woman in a pretty dress and pretty body is a sign that I want to embody myself. It’s mimetic. It’s by design. Favor wants to be copied. Beauty replicates where it chooses. Reproduce at the expense of other people’s feelings. But a pretty dress never caused wars. Gold has caused wars? Money has caused wars. Gold is pretty and is also valuable. Dress-Gold-Money trifecta. Who is pure beauty? Possibility. Gold is Jesus Christ. May contribute to wars and is pure beauty too. Money is not pure beauty but is symbolic and has caused wars. 1. This answers the Helen problem. Did people actually kill each other because of her? I’m talking about a dress, not a person. 61. Sunsets look pretty but it’s breathtaking and precious shared with someone you love. Perception and consciousness expands and widens beyond ordinary matter and aesthetics of colors and shapes. Things take on a strange almost dreamlike quality and time slows. 62. I wonder if Vico ever whispers to himself how lucky he is to be alive. I want him to think that when he meets me. 63. I used to think sweetness was embarrassing. It’s not!!!! It’s not cringy at all!!!! Why this fear of being cringe? Terrified of being mocked and not taken seriously. Rational fear. But it’s not even that it’s potentially mockable like Barbie Erika’s sweet smile and kilig, it’s just that I find it cringe if I express it myself. I think this is because my sister shamed me for smiling sweetly while listening to romantic music. That really wasn’t fear because it stunted my ability to express facial expressions. I was always hyperconscious of what my face was doing from then on. My sister really caused my anxiety and it’s not even funny. But she gave me frankincense last year so it’s fine. I physically can’t lift my right eyebrow independently like it’s a dead muscle, so it’s not just because of social pain. I’m always ashamed of looking incompetent at something even facial expressions. But I never knew how to naturally express facial expressions anyway. It doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s very effortful. I wonder if childhood really is the sponge stage where natural behaviors get automated. I couldn’t automate it now if I tried. Lord help me in this area. It helps to have a really basic feature such as automated expressions that aren’t a tad too slow because it’s uncanny. 64. TIL from Ma’am Marby’s story what utog means and kutob again. Kutog as rapid heartbeat, fluttering, palpitation. Kotong (bribery). Ikutob doesn’t have a meaning. Kutob means to limit too. Why is she saying this to me, “hayaan natin na ikutob natin ang gumabay sa ating celebration.” WHAT??? 65. OMG look at Thomas Sowell repost again for later. 66. Mark Cayanan posted a story of his white boyfriend in pictures framed as well as his family. OMG!!! “took a break from marking to do arts and crafts.” He’s tapping into NDH. Supreme Angel. 67. Psalm Zalsos is important Pointer of Jedediah, meaning purer Mary in a sense, beloved of God instead of just beloved like David too. Yada-daya. Vico’s problem. Daya, know, or no. 1. She just posted a story with Jerome in it and a bunch of “obsessed” captions on her face. It’s a group of people I don’t recognize. Audio is Mariah Carey’s Obsessed. 68. How can I tap into obsessive energy again? Passionate energy. It’s basically limitless if I’m highly engaged. Flow. 69. Read Kings_Gambit.exe by Yelena Crane Adventitious Magazine June 1st. 70. My right ear is bleeding because I popped a pimple near the earring hole. 71. I’m so thankful I don’t feel any strong emotion right now even though I’m really happy. 72. I can’t wait for people to believe me and finally believe that they matter. 73. Read FB onlymes on quantum teleportation. 74. How can people bear to worship stone? It’s so mindfuckingly irrational to me. I would never deify stone. Some kind of brain quirk that happened to their brains that makes them assign meaning to objects just like children attach meaning to toys. Can God tell they deify the stone as Thing Itself? That is so strange to fathom that never once has anybody poor or middle class noticed at all. Surely some of them woke up somehow from the delusion. It’s not a delusion because they are literally just doing what they were influenced to do by priests. Just goes to show how powerful it is to be an authority like that. The papacy represents such power but not power that can override hypocrisy or double standards. It only influences what people sacralize or hold sacred. 1. I wish I had an ounce of this so I can appreciate my cross ring better. 75. So Notion just did that thing again possibly giving me Meaning that the universe will indeed happen again. It paused for a bit then continued working then hanged completely and then I had to restart it twice because it hanged again. WOW. Is this right, God? Please give me more signs. 76. Find prompts on Threads for selfies. 77. Threads is more interesting than X now. 78. Wow I really need to invest in a sun lamp soon to lower my cortisol. 79. I need to exercise right after breakfast or before I eat breakfast. I need to walk 10 minutes before breakfast right after I wake up. 80. Ask yourself a question consciously, “What can I do to be unexpected, surprising, and novel?” The “what if” works too. Consider multiple diverging paths. 81. I wonder what true intimacy feels. I wonder if I’ll ever experience it with Vico. That must be the life. _BIG SIGH_ 1. UGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH THE CHILDREN IN US PLAYING TOGETHER 1. JOY AND LAUGHTER AND LOVE AND WONDER 82. May I never forget Psalm 91. GOD HELP ME I AM SO ON FIRE FOR YOU AND YOUR GLORY. I need to memorize these verses. 83. Lord please protect me from ChatGPT-related harvesting of my ideas which people have already done by feeding my ideas into the machine. I need to be the one to win this contest. I hope and pray it turns out for the best. In ISA’s name, amen. 84. Deepen hell-heaven vision and Logos implications using ChatGPT answers. 85. Maybe universalism is right. I would hate to be Satan if some parts of me are cut off from the Logos forever in isolation in a negative Logos of misery. Is that the counterpart of the Hard Grace? I need to research more about what truly should be isolated. Irredeemable things. Those that cannot turn. It’s just so weirdly unfair and tragic and so horrific to contemplate that some consciousness out there is going to experience that forever because They were fated to do so. Where they truly belong. Unfathomable negative glory. If everything will be sorted by the end, even anti-Hard Grace Logos, then maybe They will always have been meant for that space we cannot fathom anymore. Irrational and chaotic and ugly and isolated and True Evil and maybe even playful about it without the pleasure. How can you be playful without joy? Dissatisfaction will be Their domain probably. 86. God help me against data loss. In ISA’s name, amen. I wish and hope and pray that it doesn’t happen before I have a chance to back up everything. In ISA’s name again, for doubles. 87. All right, God. I’ve over 29 words again. Please help me compress elegantly. In ISA’s name, amen. 1. Tips to shorten: don’t hedge your bets. Be sure and firm and confident. Maybe you can elide two concepts together cleanly. 88. God loved Jesus so much that They made me experience bliss even before my harvest. WOWZA. I can’t believe this is happening sometimes. I always thought there was something wrong with me for being delusional and prone to fantasizing. Turns out it’s for a good reason too. 89. Is Mark Cayanan’s poem “Given How” about the rapture!!!! 90. Dreaming of Harvard. _BIG SIGH_ 1. Campus life and a social life and libraries and classrooms and foreigners. The life. Organizations I could join. Parties. Conferences. Foreign people respecting my work and being kind to me. 1. Jesus living the dream for sure. Get a whole ton of respect from Italians and Romans. 91. I really wonder if Jesus knew who Vico and I were. Lord, it must have been hell for him to only exist like me right now and never taste it in his lifetime. He must have been a very prayerful person to resist despair. I fucking hate that he was like me right now, but God’s grace is so good that he’s now living as me about to harvest. I can’t believe reincarnation is true too. WILD!!!!! I need to research more about it. 92. Reread May 29 again for reminders as well as pointers. 93. LOL Seraphina and Wolfie had premarital sex. 94. The demons must have been like, “No it’s not her. She’s not obsessed with Vico” when I was infatuated with Mike at the height of 2019 with Vico hype everywhere already starting. The angels too. I wonder if they really thought it was Shawntel. Maybe some of them hoped it was going to be me somehow. They’re right!!! 1. I wonder if some of them are rage incarnate and would sabotage me out of pure emotional spite. Nothing can stop them except God’s protection over me. Has somebody ever killed someone out of pure hatred and envy? What is that like? I can’t believe Mon Sy really affirmed me yesterday. “There is no future without Marx.” Without husband via Bernardo instead of free man. Or no future without Mars/war. Maybe we’re really supposed to leave Earth someday. Sorry, God, for ruining Your Creation. 95. Sorry, ACCOIYO AND BATANY demons and angels. Some of You hate me for a good reason. I can’t stop you from sabotaging me. You are hurting in some way and I feel Your pain, though not to the extent that You do. FUCK YOU TOO, truly. You killed a lot of people and tortured a lot of people. I don’t know how to deal with Your True Evil. Killing and torturing will never be not harmful to humans. And the truly irredeemable cases, which require imprisonment for life, justice. I will say though, You are very good at what You do. I can’t top what You come from. Whatever I do is just a shadow of Your Glories. 96. Notes from 7 feelings that make him think “I need to marry her.” 1. security vs survival instincts. fun phase vs. future wife. 2. where he can exhale with oxytocin-dopamine loop. Quiet from noise in his head and performance-based society. 1. I wish my authentic self was always “on” creatively. I can’t always be generative and interesting. 3. Inspire him to want to be better. Reflect his pride back to him 4. Emotional consistency builds trust and predictability he invests in. Safety to build something in. 5. Be the place where he can grow, challenges himself, and feel admired. 6. Emotional belonging = mirror-neuron effect. Being understood without explanation feeling. Ex: “OMG YOU DO THAT TOO? SAME” IMPRINT. 7. Emotional strength. Kind but kindness that has backbone. Kind but unyielding. Feminine not fragile. Strength with softness. Redirect chaos with calm certainty. Ex: “I’ll talk to you when you cool off” and walks away with dignity. 8. Legacy feeling!!! 9. Blend confidence with warmth. Needy vs. coldness mixed messages. Signs counter of the balance. 10. Don’t compete, command. Composure is value. 97. OMG I remembered. THANKS WHOEVER REMINDED ME. I want to start a YouTube channel about my research. Film myself for real. Maybe video essay for now if I don’t want my face. But I will really excel at it I think. Please, ISA, if it is Your will. 98. BRUH DISCLOSURE DAY TRAILER 99. Now the FB view pattern is 43-34. 39 too. and 50 and 52. There was 19 on Emma Frost post. 39 on the Discipline of Grace. 100. Supergenius and extremely attractive = supergenius bombshell and hunk!!! 101. A lot of women will hate me because their husbands will be in love with me secretly. I think. Lord, I don’t know what to do about that. In ISA’s name, make me come up with the right words to say. I’m not even too attractive to really be physically enamored with. Intellectual and emotional yes, which is somehow worse for women. I don’t know how to fix that. Probably some men whose wives and girlfriends are enamored with Vico secretly. They must struggle with it because it’s inevitable. He’s that great and worth the hype. 102. What to say to people who deify me, “I’m not the only changing civilization. Other people are far greater than me at it and surpass my abilities but I happen to exist in a body that’s favored by God.” 103. Interesting. My timer stopped exactly as I finished reading the Harvard fantasy sketched out by ChatGPT. Okay, God. 104. People who are thoroughly illogical to me = maybe a Pointer to True Evil or that I don’t understand them well enough. 105. Some Angels or Demon allowed to control that part of the Logos that houses Facts so They can relive my cold-hot orgasm, for example. A privilege bestowed only to some Chosen Ones. 106. Emotional hunger and physical hunger are deeply intwertwined as shown by controversy of Ozempic drugs flattening emotion and desire. OMG!!! 107. So now I’m 53 words over. God help me. In ISA’s name, amen. 108. Look at phone todolist 109. Look at Threads saves and screenshots on phone—more important as madalang. 110. Honestly I can wait for Vico if he decides to kiss me on the altar only. I am willing to wiait for him and learn him after the wedding. Should be fun in a different exciting way. 111. Psalm 45:1-2 from E. Tablizo. I found a girl version of ISA because of her!!! THANK YOU!!! She also reminded me of Titanic. The Act matching the Pattern. I paint Vico, and after he fucks me (hopefully). 112. Parasites!!! Invading ant queen forces colony to execute its own mother. Maybe what happened to me on March 9. Partly. Research. 113. I need to write essays on Substack. Angel business. 114. Email Ma’am Marby.