### Dreams 🧫 1. Mel Christian Banac assaulting me, or pulling a blanket that covered me. I forgot the specifics. I just felt the creepiness, even though I thought of Mel as a friend. He’s now in Canada. 1. Mel is a versatile, unisex name, often serving as a diminutive for Melanie, Melissa, or Melvin, meaning **"dark," "honeybee," or "council protector"**. Originating from Greek, Celtic, and Gaelic roots, it is also frequently used as a stand-alone name denoting strength, leadership, or simply brevity and charm. [[1](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/mel), [2](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/mel), [3](https://www.mummypages.ie/baby-names/meaning-mel), [4](https://www.babycenter.com/baby-names/details/mel-24845)]**Key Meanings and Origins** • **From Melanie/Melaina:** Greek origin meaning "dark" or "black". • **From Melissa:** Greek origin meaning "honeybee". • **From Melvin/Melvyn/Melville:** Celtic/English origin meaning "council protector," "smooth brow," or "council hill". • **Gaelic Root:** Derived from _Maol_, meaning "bald". • **Other Interpretations:** Can signify "friend" or an "armoured chief". 2. A Christian name traditionally refers to the name given at baptism (a christening), symbolizing a person's entry into the Christian faith. It signifies "**follower of Christ**," originating from the Latin _christianus_ and Greek _Christos_ (anointed one). Today, it is commonly used interchangeably with "first name" or "given name". [[1](https://www.quora.com/What-do-people-mean-when-they-say-my-Christian-name-is), [2](https://momcozy.com/blogs/baby-names/christian), [3](https://www.familyeducation.com/baby-names/name-meaning/christian), [4](https://www.parents.com/christian-name-meaning-origin-popularity-8664156), [5](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christians), [6](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/christian-name)] 3. **Banac (Filipino context):** A notable example is Bernard M. Banac, a high-ranking Filipino police officer, often associated with regional Filipino contexts rather than the Slavic origin. 4. The surname **Banac** has roots in Slavic regions, particularly Croatia and Serbia, **often associated with a "ban" (a lord or territorial governor)**. It frequently serves as a pet form of the personal name Benedikt (Benedict) or as a status identifier for someone working under a ban. [[1](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/banach), [2](https://lastnames.myheritage.com/last-name/banac), [3](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=benac)] 5. The surname **Banac** in the Philippines is likely a variant of _Batac_, derived from the Ilokano and Tagalog word _batak_, meaning **"to help," "to pull," or "to stretch"**. It is commonly used as a surname or nickname suggesting a helpful or hardworking person. It is also known as a habitational name referring to the city of Batac in the northern Philippines. [[1](https://www.familysearch.org/en/surname?surname=batac), [2](https://ancestors.familysearch.org/en/GNWG-3Q5/graciano-banac-), [3](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/batac)] 6. Interpretations: Maybe this is talking about my BOBOBEE draft. God is sending me sign to work on it to earn money before August. I need to submit it by June. I will be “exposed” to the world as a horny bastard by writing all that erotica in a science fiction story. Neil Clarke will pull the cover over me and “help” me achieve this goal. 1. I suppose this also means something about poop? Dissonance, I mean. I considered Mel Banac a friend, but then in my dream he creeped me out. I associate Mel with Mela, my childhood molester. But then before it was brought to my attention, it didn’t occur to me to associate him with Mela. But then his actions in DHFHM, it resembled Mela. Maybe that was Mela using his face to talk to me. My mom had a suspicion when she was on a boat that somebody did that to her, a lesbian(?) who pulled her daster/dress up exposing her underwear to peep on her even though it was most likely her movement only. I don’t know if Mela is suggesting that it wasn’t that bad, or that I’m making much of what she did. I guess it only really became bad for me when I realized that I became a bastos child because of her kind in our home, her perverting my innocence—leading me to associate it with wrongness/ticklish feelings, the other maids laughing and joking about oten and bisong, and I don’t remember much else but maybe lockstep actions and incidents that influenced me. 2. I remember watching a home invasion of a sort, I think. Two women, one her daughter (faintly Asian/Japanese feeling), being stabbed by an attacker in a visceral way where I really thought “wow, this is really next-level violent and shows the fragility of human bodies.” Then for some reason the attacker turned into a cat with a wave of a hand, and it was then revealed through a book how all of the actions of the women while it was happening was written in a book to a tee, and how the “prophecy” had been fulfilled in lockstep with the Real World events. Interesting dream. 1. Interpretations: Kind of obvious. Cat is associated with BATANY. Evil neutralized. 3. OMG GOD IS TALKING TO ME ABOUT “WE MADE IT” the song by Nik Makino and Flow G. My dream about that car the other day. “Di na naka Honda Civic” 1. The name **Nik** primarily means **"victory" or "victory of the people,"** originating from the Greek name _Nikolaos_ (derived from _nike_, meaning victory, and _laos_, meaning people). It is commonly used as a short form for Nicholas, Nikolai, or Nikita, symbolizing strength and triumph. [[1](https://www.ancestry.com/first-name-meaning/nik), [2](https://www.name-doctor.com/meaning/nik), [3](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/nik), [4](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nik)] 2. Makino (牧野) is a Japanese surname meaning **"pasture field" or "shepherd’s field,"** derived from Kanji for "pasture/tend" (牧) and "field" (野). It often signifies an agrarian, rural origin, historically linked to the samurai Makino clan from Mikawa Province (modern Aichi Prefecture). It is also found as a given name. [[1](https://www.ancestry.com/last-name-meaning/makino), [2](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/makino), [3](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/narisada-makino), [4](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Makino_\(surname\)), [5](https://wild-strawberry.fandom.com/wiki/Makino)] 3. The name Honda (本田) translates from Japanese as **"original rice paddy" or "main rice field,"** derived from the surname of its founder, Soichiro Honda. It combines _Hon_ (root/origin) and _Da/Ta_ (rice field), representing a common surname. It is not an acronym, but rather a personal name signifying strong roots. [[1](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SpapcvoeN5c#:~:text=the%20name%20Honda.%20comes%20from%20its%20founder's,in.%20The%20Meaning%20Behind%20The%20Name%20Honda), [2](https://americanmodified.com/blogs/news/where-does-the-name-honda-actually-come-from), [3](https://www.familyeducation.com/baby-names/name-meaning/honda), [4](https://www.wisdomlib.org/names/honda), [5](https://www.quora.com/How-was-the-word-HONDA-derived-Whats-the-meaning-indication-of-HONDA-logo-Whats-the-HONDA-slogan-1), [6](https://www.instagram.com/p/DQWoOqokz8I/)] 4. Interpretations: This song was posted by Vico to his story. God is telling me to learn Tagalog and concentrate on farming/rice/pasture/field. ### Ruminations 🩻 1. 8:32PM and I’m still resistant to work. Opened up Ratatouille and Princess Diaries on my laptop. Trying to edge myself before I consummate my enjoyment later. I wish I could work like neurotypicals. It’s not that I’m low dopamine, it’s that I’m afraid I won’t be able to top—or at least match—True Love Stories. Why do I think this? God is always working in me, even through my weaknesses and averageness sometimes. I can always improve it later. Optimization comes after there is a base. You’ve got a brain, trust it. You do. PLEASE!!!!! 2. Couldn’t stop myself from fantasizing earlier about Vico, about his voice, his mind coming up against mine, his touch, his singular intensity and focus on me and my ideas, my focus on his response and reactions. He’s Omega too, whether he likes it or not. We’re entangled at the root, just look at our names. I’ve been ruminating about the odds of that today, how destiny works, how God really wrote this story to be consummated in 2027+ but had billions of years behind it, hundreds of thousands of years of evolution, centuries of conflict and bloodshed and love and failures, all hurtling towards a singularity of our love story, if he ever looks at me that way. I have 258 days until I see the light of results and the slightest possibility that God will lead him to my work. The convergence of our minds at that point—magic? MAGIC!!!! 3. My dad told me he woke me up and I was half-asleep and I told him that I finished my thesis. Talk about self-fulfilling prophecies. LORD!!!! WITH YOU I CAN DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. I have a month.