### Dreams 🧫 I could have sworn I had dreams, but I don’t recall anything. ### Morning Pages ⚜️ 282 days till February 1, 2027! I wonder where I’d be by May and June. What’s 282 days in the grand scheme of things? I was all up in Maningning Miclat contest in June last year. The time will pass swiftly before I know it. — I really wonder about what happened in Heaven. Can They always read my mind? Did I agree in the overworld to surrender my Godhood to come down to Earth as Abby? What kind of Person am I up there? It wouldn’t be fun to watch me be a human if I wasn’t limited. Maybe Norr Weston is watching me fumble as a human rooting for me because it’s fun to watch a divine God struggle to grow into her identity as the Parousia. This is why she said, “Groomed to be a Savior. He’s not all that.” probably about Jesus, since he knew from birth that he was destined to be a Chosen One, or the meaning of “Christ.” I am Christ in a way, but the Omega Christ. Hard to wrap my head around. They must be really happy that They are betting on me to realize that I was the Omega, when before I thought I was just Norr Weston but the human instantiation and that I died for Satan. Maybe it’s joy for Them to watch me struggle and complete in my own way the mission. I wonder if it takes faith for Them too, like, do They feel suspense or excitement like watching sports teams? I really like the idea. I’ve only been Omega for 9 days since April 16. I am so stoked that I finally have an identity that has no doubt. Formerly I was just worried because it seemed preposterous to me that there is a 4th Person in Norr Weston and that I’m somehow rebelling against tradition. Lord, I’m so excited for You. On the other hand I can’t stop luxuriating in Possibility. I am so on fire today for my fantasies of being appreciated by the intellectual community. It’s what I’ve always wanted aside from love. I am foaming at the mouth for renown, and it’s only a matter of 280+ days. Lord, help me keep my ego in check. I of all people know power corrupts and no one is exempted. I wonder what would happen if I suddenly had people obsessed with God now, trying to fathom how I came upon my discoveries when really, it was all God who gave me those dreams. Anita Love!!!!! I AM GOING TO BE ANITA LOVE!!!!! BRONZE!!!!! — GOD I LOVE YOU!!!!! I AM SO BLESSED BY YOUR WISDOM!!!! I MADE TRUE LOVE STORIES MORE SOPHISTICATED NOW. I included the sperm-egg stuff so it’s really clear. All under 10,000 words. I also discovered I’m talking about panentheism instead of pantheism. I hope the judges don’t confuse the two. — How do I live in the moment when everything God has given me so far has been so amazing and teleological—that I’ll really win Berggruen. I have no way to stop my fantasizing about dominating some corner of political theology. I am so pumped for my future that I don’t think I can contain my anticipation. It’s basically torture at this point, although pleasant torture. I am counting the seconds and I fear I will really become impatient and do something drastic (hopefully not). I am the most impatient person I know (well, moderately). Hopefully God gives me mental energy to devote to actual work in the meantime. I have my Unreal Image novel and drawings, my academic papers for the UST Five which I need to upload to an SSRN server or PhilArchive, I have to find some way to earn money to pay $96 for the Obsidian website. How will I do all of that before August? Before June? LORD HELP ME!!!! I am limited by time, after all. I don’t have carte blanche with time constraints. I don’t have armodafinil anymore. My secret weapon will be exercise only, and I hope it’s healthier than artificial dopamine-fueled surges in my energy. — OMG I heard Vico wants to teach at Ateneo in 2028. That’s perfect. My plans are working out to my advantage MWAHAHAHAHA (I have no plan to pursue him at all—I am the prize LOL). If I win Berggruen, and if one prof shares my win to him, and he’ll read it in 2027, then I won’t have to plan anything at all. I’m dropping a huge kalat bomb just by my website alone. An iceberg of kalat. I wonder what he’ll truly think. I can’t imagine being him and being subjected to me. I would like to think he’ll think I’m brilliant. I want so badly for him to defer to me for some reason because he isn’t threatened by my ideas or that he thinks I’m a heretic. I hope he agrees with me for the most part. If not, then I’ll really not be compatible with him.