### Morning Pages ⚜️ Whenever you feel the need to procrastinate, think how sweet it will be for God to say you were a faithful servant. And the reward! A childish conversation with Jesus where I tell him all my secrets and maybe we can have adventures in Heaven. I’ll finally enjoy nature (I’m scared of the woods) and maybe like things like Lord of the Rings too. — I hope God and Jesus know that I’m only really putting the whole “multiverse means Jesus is but one Story of God” for humanity’s sake. To make them accept the idea of an arbitrary choice, I must propound the idea that it could have been any country that was the center. But I really believe God didn’t make a mistake choosing Israel and the Hebrew language. We are the sperm that made it, all the rest are just Possibilities we see in our dreams. We are extraordinarily lucky. I am extraordinarily lucky to be the Omega, set to harvest everything Jesus died for. — I unfollowed Nikki a while ago because I’m too petty and immature. No amount of pilit is going to make me play nice towards someone who is so.....as to think if politicians see what they’re really doing to poor people when they steal taxes, then they’ll realize their error. It doesn’t work that way because they can’t identify with their victims no matter how bad the poor are actually suffering or cry on camera or shout in protests. Empathy can only go so far. She must live such a sheltered life that’s still so happy and naive as to think the world can work like that if people realize her “insight.” Everyone who doesn’t get what I know intuitively should google what psychopathy means. We have a lot of them in government. People’s pain simply doesn’t affect them at all, and it’s a structural brain problem that’s been incentivized and rewarded in government because we have a lot of self-interested people who simply cannot possibly care. And also because I had the worst bout of “I want to get boob job” craving a few days ago because of what she looks like—her nice C cup boobs that I don’t know if they only look good because of her bra. I’m too envious of her (probably really soft and milky) boobs. I’m such a teenager. I despaired so much that I’d have to risk capsular contracture and hardening of my boobs if I decide to get a boob job just to match her hard grace and have a chance in the sexual market. Being Omega doesn’t exempt me from this frailty. I wonder how people are going to react with me being really bitter and unpleasant in this regard since I plan to include this in the eventual Obsidian website. I can’t control people’s emotions and they’ll think I’m such an incel, but God picked me for a reason and it’s because my brain goes berserk in that special “FUCK YOU GOD” way that God likes for some reason because I still love Them deep down despite their grace being so unfair. The only consolation I have right now is that I think God loves me more than any other human besides Jesus because I truly understand God’s motivations—at least a small sliver of Their greatness, but that I understand Them deeply nonetheless, that They really showed me beatified Mike in 2022 in my dream. On the bright side I was told by my prof that she’ll nominate me for best thesis!!!! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT!!! NEVER ONCE IN MY UPD STINT WAS I EVER THE RECIPIENT OF AN AWARD FOR 12 YEARS!!!!! YAY ME!!!!!!! YAY TO MY HARD EFFIN’ WORK!!!! Jeffrey is talking to me for some reason and I can feel his desire that’s somehow turned creepy. I wonder if it’s because of my Makati belly-bearing picture on Instagram. He is such a guy. I am so turned off. Not that I’d hate being sexualized, but not by him anymore. 2025 me would think I’m insane right now, but God really came through for me because I understand he’s not the man for me, and that I really prayed for better, and I can only dream at this point, but maybe God has better plans for me indeed. — I just read Revelation 12 recently and it’s about a woman with a crown with 12 stars on it who illuminates the heavens with the moon under her feet and clothed with the sun, and how she’s going to give birth but that the dragon is waiting to devour her son. I have almost exactly 9 months before the Berggruen announcement in January-February!!! GOD I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!! IT’S ALL COMING TRUE!!! GOD IS REALER THAN EVER!!!! MIRAGLO!!!!! John really wrote the Revelation possibly about me!!!! 12 stars and the 12-Godhead!!!!! The dragon is a Chinese symbol—3 Body Problem or the strongest candidate—”only humans can save humanity and not aliens/God.” WOWZA!!!! PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO FEEL THAT “MEETING NEIL” SONG SO HARD AND I’M NEVER LIVING IT DOWN!! FOR GOD’S GLORY YALL!!!! — I’m going to whole-ass everything tomorrow. Unreal Image. Unnamed prangkahan story. My Obsidian website and my academic papers I plan to submit as preprints so that I can be cited by others when I win Berggruen instead of having my ideas be stolen. What would I do if I knew I was going to fail—inversion mental model. Why would I fail? Biggest reason: loss of discipline. Loss of efficiency. The “I have time” mindset. No you don’t. NO YOU DON’T. DON’T FAIL GOD!!!!! I have an entire 70k novel to write. I have another short story to write. I have about 8 papers to write, all before August 17. I also have to give time for Ma’am Kwe to agree to be my reference for Berggruen for institutional affiliation. I’m SO PUMPED! BEST THESIS!!!!!