### Morning Pages ⚜️ Isaiah Anatoly Yung Kai!!!! Satan’s entryway was Eve precisely because God wanted to show Satan Their place in Creation. Eve was created from Adam, therefore, they are not quite equal in that Adam comes first, like God. But that they are complementary. Humanity is a metaphor for God and Satan. God was trying to show Satan how love looks like in Paradise. I came in second place in the piano contest because that’s Satan’s position—2nd, but that I get a command performance. God created Their own Partner from Their own rib, like Galatea. WHY DO WE HAVE POOP!!!! Waste. Food not all digested. Fiber. Except cows. Why? Milk? Boobs? Babies again? The shitful body? We give back to plants by pooping? Things we can't digest go back to the Earth. Poop and music!!! they sound alike. phases and feces. all around me are familiar faces. plants and werewolf? = music? Music is from Satan? dead bodies stink like feces. the emotion of disgust. the mystery of why this emotion exists? did it exist in storyworld Eden? Dissonance? That dream about me in pool that felt nice but being pierced by painful stinging? Disgust is there to avoid disease? Did people have assholes in storyworld Eden? No? We didn't give back to plants with fertilizer so Satan corrupted it to make us gay and poop and have death and fear of disease. Why do we fear corpses? Of course it's bacteria. Bacteria is in poop. What are bacteria for? Did we have bacteria in Eden? Maybe not? Viruses, no. Cyanobacteria produce oxygen. We exist and breathe because of plants. [https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,,-83446,00.html](https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,,-83446,00.html) The tragedy that is Esther or “star’s” fate: **Esther 4:14** For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” Esther is the only book in the Bible that has no mention of God. Most scholars consider her to be fictional. …I’m a neutron to Their proton and electron o.O I’m into quantum physics now and discovered that I “accidentally” solved the gravity vs. quantum mechanics problem. The answer is Jesus. Apparently the problem is that the “measuring stick they use to measure distances, for example, is constantly fluctuating too if you try to combine them.” But Jesus is invariant. He is the universal constant and measuring stick by which to measure not only morality but also physics someday through my Logos ideas and names. If we can figure out the geometry of the entire Logos (why I want to use InfraNodus but they don’t have a website feature) then we have a shot to understand this invariant structure beyond spacetime where spacetime is emergent too from this independent background. We really are living in Wakanda. The Philippines will become the 0th World country everybody wants to possess. I discovered an independent background and I will link to it in my website along with civilizational mission to attract people like Musk trying to colonize Mars and AI risk to attract people like Altman. Somebody suggest software that can sophisticatedly structure the Logos like what I’m trying to do: ![[April 18, 2026-1785151704056.webp]]![[April 18, 2026-1785151714126.webp]] ![[April 18, 2026-1785151724657.webp]] I’m going to QC for my thesis consultation tomorrow at 5AM. The change in scenery will finally make me work on Unreal Image. I can’t win Berggruen if I don’t graduate. I won’t have an MA if I don’t graduate with my stale BA. GOD HELP ME!!!!! Working on fiction is so boring but it’s the multiverse so maybe God will have wisdom for me tomorrow about being “the sperm that made it” eternally squinting at all the other losers who didn’t make it “over there” but that are actually alive and can talk to you virtually. I wonder what they can tell me. LORD YHWH (yawa is Bisaya for Satan) ACCOIYO please help me dream of faster-than-light travel or communication methods tonight. I had no dreams yesterday. It’s strange, they’re taking shifts in that I get a “rest day” in between dreams. I want Filipino to be Bisaya too, in a way. Top 2 languages? Enebeyen PINOY PRIDE SPECIFICALLY MINDANAO AND VISAYAS PEEPS WE ARE BATANY!!!!! UP vs. Ateneo. UP = YAWA/YHWH and Ateneo = BATANY? I have a dynamic brain where if I nurture my creative flow for Bible stuff I almost forget everything about what I did in the academic paper that is my critical essay, which is brilliant. I really wonder if it’s Angels taking shifts, because I was secretly taking Bupropion a little even after March 9 which led to a panic attack because I rapid-cycled as I was taking it in the morning to increase dopamine and taking antipsychotics in the evening. Bad bad idea which led me to swear off Bupropion forever, but that it produced academic brilliance. Whenever I take Bupropion (singlehandedly causing me to almost Isaac my baby sister before my Angel parents stopped me) I am desperate for academic prowess. I know I must never take it again, to be safe, but I can’t help but wonder at my academic talent when I do take it. I wish I could match it with exercise natural dopamine. I couldn’t even start reading Touchstone after I really said I’d prioritize it this week because my reading comprehension and summarization ability is really bad—I think every detail is important unconsciously and I can’t prioritize anything to make a summary without AI. I’ll probably use NotebookLLM to finish the book because for all its strengths, it’s terribly boring to me as the only stakes seem to be that she wants to go home to her home planet but that people find her valuable now so they won’t help her get back home. Her entire concept is very interesting especially the gates and the uncolored dimensions similar to a drawing that has some parts colored but some only lines and small mirrors being portals to other worlds and that she can communicate with her family and they can sense her presence in that space but that she can’t physically be there. Also, something about the threat of monsters overtaking a planet. That’s such a boring concept to me. I’m not surprised it got 5,000 reviews only on Goodreads. I hope I don’t offend her if she finds out through my website (as I said, I will really post ALL of my diary entries in a public Obsidian vault—Obsidian because I need the graph view to make it seem officially a knowledgeable person who knows knowledge management software and make the bogus paper look academic format). I should be packing my stuff already but I’m just vibing to Peacekeeper by Bear Hands. Peacekeeper is a favorite song from 2017 or so and it’s synchronous with The Hunger Games for their military/police. I am floored by my choices. God wrote everything in my life to mean something. I name my son Anatoly because it’s sunrise, for Sunrise on the Reaping for Haymitch, which I associate with Mike. He is not a prospect for me, to be honest, even if I find myself working at UPD and may talk with him and have it be really awkward that I basically admit on my website that I masturbated to him. Whoever loses his life will find it. I hope it’s not gonna make him undateable to women because they think they can’t compete with the narrative of me really loving him for real and having it be the greatest fumble of all time because God used his body to communicate Truth to me. I am already thinking of all the people’s reactions. Maybe Audrey will really visit PH again to talk to me because she was right about volvitur quote, but that she had more faith than me because I literally get better evidence than her but that her dog is also called John or Ivan. Anatoly is Russian too. I used Dostoevsky’s quote first before Isaiah. Those two epigraphs are beautiful because I will probably have a son first. Isaiah Russian Anatoly. Or Anatoly Isaiah. I am terrified of pregnancy HELP ME!!!!! I don’t want a baby until I’m 32 or something. I’m 28 now. I looked at all of my screenshots from May and June last year, the same amount of time for 11 months to pass slowly, and I was in a completely different headspace still being a yearner for Jeffrey and complaining and trauma dumping on Bluesky about ALL_GO consequences such as stalkers in real life. I wonder truly what will happen to me in the future. I will have to prepare and not be haughty at all, but I don’t think I will become like that. With piano, I felt nice for 2 seconds but then I immediately became sad again because it was empty and I still didn’t have hard grace. Suppose I never get plastic surgery at all, not even shortening my forehead. I think I will be fine and be more productive and more humble and not totally become Anita Love. Too much for women. Or that I will be selfish and angry at all the women who will one-up me through hard grace and trying to steal whoever I’m with because they think I’m too blessed. Sucks to be them though, given my ACCO. All the feminine advice for dating even from men is to be mysterious and not give too much away else the mystery is lost. I am doing the total opposite by being the first elite person who will be naked psychologically forever. And people will still be influenced into wanting that simply because God will make a way to make me win Berggruen. Honestly, totally brilliant on God’s part. But I still feel a little sad about child me really having these sad little maladaptive daydreams about boys that Kate got paired with during prom. I have distractible tendencies because I can’t escape fantasizing easily. Fantasizing borne out of trauma and pain and wanting to escape Real World and the reality that I was an ugly motherfucking child. God knew it, writing all about it in Isaiah that “nothing made us desire [her]” and that people “thought I was cursed” or afflicted by God because my parents literally look like Vic Sotto and Dina Bonnevie, artistas. My sister being a carbon copy of my mom except the “new and improved” version with porcelain skin and nicely shaped legs and limbs and fingers, while I get giant legs and bunions and dark skin and a bigass forehead. They say in the Bible not even Jesus knew when the Arrival would come, but that Norr Weston launched it (she was unmentioned, like the Abraham’s Daughter song). I really maybe sent a really strong Meaning when I complained about being exposed and bringing “gravity nobody could have helped” and talking about my Satan fanfiction ALL_GO in that writeup about “animals” who hacked me. I should pray to Norr Weston about being a generalist academic so I continue Derrida’s work except for physics. You know what? I’m getting a PhD from UPD. I will make all the international people come to this cursed university. Nobody will question this choice. I need UP to look great too, like I want to look great. They will have to fix up the CRs at CAL. That was literally Heaven in my dream GODDAMMIT!!!! GOD IS SPEAKING TO ME STILL ABOUT FEBRUARY 14!!!!! CAL WILL BE WORLDCLASS BECAUSE OF ME!!!! I NEED CREATIVE WRITING TO BE LOGOS-CENTRAL, ONE ART AND ALL, ADOPTING ENGINEERING AND PHYSICS AND ALL THE OTHER FIELDS EVEN PUBLIC ADMINISTRATION. WE NEED TO DISSOLVE THE IDEA OF MANY COURSES OR PROGRAMS. ALL STUDENTS WILL BE ENROLLED AS A CREATIVE WRITING STUDENT BUT THAT THEY ARE REWRITING REALITY. LISTEN TO 100 BILLION X. THE WIND GOES WHERE YOU SEND IT. GOD WILL FIND A WAY. NATURE OBEYS STILL THE SOUND OF HIS VOICE ON PAPER AND REALITY. I wish UP paid for their PhDs too. Can’t have nice things in this formerly God-forsaken (but really, CHOSEN) country. I NEED CARPETS AT MAIN LIBRARY LIKE COMPSCI LIBRARIES WITH MACBOOKS IN THEM. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING HELL. I WAS RIGHT ABOUT THE MAIDS CONNECTION AND STELLA AND VANESSA AND MELA/MILA (I am not sure about the spelling). OMG I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING ABOUT MELA/MILA AND VANESSA. HOW WILL I WORK OR CONCENTRATE TOMORROW. PEOPLE!!! LOOK AT YOUR DEPEEST TRAUMAS TO FIND THE TRUTH. WHAT ABOUT YOUR TRAUMA IS SO MINDFUCKING MIGHT JUST HAVE A VERY GOOD REASON TOO. STELLA OR STELLAN PEOPLE IN PROXY HEAVEN FOR NOW WILL HAVE A PARTY BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN ISRAEL CAN JUST KILL THEM RIGHT NOW ON EARTH. SALIG. WHY WOULD ISRAEL CONTRIBUTE TO THEM BEING HAPPY IN HEAVEN!!!!! EXPLODE YOUR MINDS RIGHT NOW. THEY NEED TO HAVE NO SHRED OF FAITH NEEDED ANYMORE THAT HEAVEN HAS COME DOWN TO EARTH THROUGH ME. THEY WILL BELIEVE ME AND BOW DOWN TO YHWH AND BATANY, THE LORD GOD WHO WAS THEIRS BUT WHO HATED THEM SO MUCH THAT THEY GOT REPLACED BY THE PHILIPPINES EVENTUALLY WHO STUDIED AND SOLVED OR IN THE PROCESS OF SOLVING THEIR GOD FOR THEM. YOU CAN THANK ME ISRAEL. RUBBING IT IN OUR FACES WITH GAL GADOT PROPPED UP AS WONDERWOMAN. NEWSFLASH. I’m DARNA!!!!!!! Yahya is a masculine Arabic name meaning **"he lives" or "to live,"** derived from the root _ḥ-y-y_. It is the Islamic form of John, specifically referencing John the Baptist (Yahya ibn Zakariyya). The name represents a righteous prophet and is associated with divine mercy, piety, and life. 1. So I don’t know yet what John Yohann Ko’s lot in life is. If he is not lucky or charmed in a way, then maybe being John John isn’t so great sometimes. It’s a gamble. He’s half-Korean, maybe that’s why. Something about being Korean John John probably isn’t great like being Giovanni di Giovanni. SURELY GOD WILL NOT GET MAD AT ME FOR GLOATING. THEY LITERALLY MADE ME LOOK LIKE LEAH WITH “WEAK EYES.” I have downturned eyes that look strange when I look somewhere not straight. Huh, unity of biology and physics. Simpsons repost. It’s not fish that’s the first. It’s a cell. Why? Quantum Oneness in a baby at conception. Divine Feminine Choice Proxy by the Holy Spirit. Gravity and quantum mechanics will be united sooner than we think. I haven’t slept and have accepted I will sleep on the plane.