Note: I was really freewheeling and delusional in these, I can see that now in July 2026 as I'm writing this note. It explains my prodromal phase right before my psychotic episode on March 9, 2026 caused by Bupropion. --- 1. 3/1/26 1:42PM: So Vico really excluded “i” from “including” in his post on FB. I don’t know what he’s referring to exactly but I can approximate a lot of answers. I also Googled the meanings of #BalsancatPinagbuhatanPalatiw. Something I realized as well about TTKS and TTKTKS and the 2 olive trees and 2 lampstands. 2. 3/2/26 8:02AM: Refreshing my knowledge about EDSA (Epifanio namesake). I don’t remember where I learned this, but I recognized it somehow. There is somehow a Guadalupe in Metro Manila, but I forgot where. Strange how it’s all connected in my mind but it’s just random to me right now. Why am I dreaming of so many Epiphanies/EDSA!!!!! 3. 3/2/26 8:03AM: A person named Laken Brimicombe liked 2 of my posts on IG and now I’m thinking of adding them to Godhead because I got reminded of Caspian Lake. And the song. 4. 3/2/26 11:45AM: Neferti Tadiar!!!!!!! Glenn diaz reco. I would like to study her field too. I currently don’t know what to do yet. I truly have to wait and see what March gives me because maybe I will mutate again and change my mind (my invariant stubborn magic plants!!!!!). 5. 3/2/26 1:30PM: OMG I RECEIVED THE HUNGER GAMES SILVER PARACHUTES. 7:07!!!! from Vico (Silver Surfer too in his other video?—too uncanny). Also, Dean posted about Magic x TMNT and how it’s a “family affair.” Interesting… 1. I will attempt to discern F/A/E later. 2. Am I delusional for believing this is about landing planes(?) and other landings iykyk and also going for gold and someone being proud of me? 🥹😭Hopefully not. 3. Wright Brothers name meanings!!!! Wilbur (wild boar) and Orville (golden city). Charlotte’s Web too!!! 6. 3/2/26 1:43PM: So Vico really said Ray Espina and I thought about Paul’s thorn and Mike. My iPad? Yabang? I never realized Ray means king/beam of light/counselor. Or I thought it meant something else like Raymond just being counselor/protector. Paul’s thorn is really interesting. Am I Paul? I will give more thought to this later. 1. I just remembered “pumoporma na, nagbubuhos na” as if that wasn’t innuendo… 😝 2. OMG the “messenger of Satan” kept Paul from being conceited so this is also related to “yabang” (a huge synchron that you are not delusional). Also, is it related to the “vanity” definition or excessively focused on one’s appearance 😝 so a messenger of Satan appeared even though Paul wanted to get rid of it i.e. my feelings for Vico. 3. Maybe I am Ray Espina (Am I a thorn? Do I convict people? Do I make them struggle…) 1. Not today Satan!!!!! To be clear, I think I am not the only one who died for Satan. I think it’s a ratio again. With my mom probably and other women like her and me. Possibly Yuri. Possibly others I don’t know about. Homologous experiences that are approximately the same or same-ish in the grand scheme of things. Since nobody physically died, I assume it’s distributed like the structure of an octopus vulgaris’ brain-arms so it’s most likely not just me. I just came up with this theory right now. Angelhood and Demonhood are vast intelligences that don’t have bodies so They’re larger than humanity’s stake in the spiritual world, and maybe They need to be partitioned too over many people’s souls to absorb all that Original Sin from Their vast intimately shared problems with the Godhead—the difference between needing One for material humanity and Many for Them all. I am not sure if I’m making sense. I am just uncomfortable with the idea that my mom is somehow incidental to this and only a pre-Mary. She is too important to not be homologous with me. So I think I can make an argument where it’s a distributed burden over many anointed people’s souls that I would never know about at this time. I am so curious about other people’s experiences now. Surely I can’t be the only one who dreamt of their own Clovis appearing in my dreams. Everybody, I assume, has had Paradise dreams that taste like ecstasy. Maybe their role is only smaller than mine because I am a Main Star as I’m developing it too and am acutely aware of it and I’m a High Priest of some sort because the Godhead really talks to me for Real. But it’s a typology for a reason with many people in it and many people fit. I could reasonably solve the near-miss characters and people who also have great suffering and especially wartime sexual violence, and I wouldn’t be slippery at all. This is actually brilliant!!! Thank you Godhead and people for feeding it to me. Pepsi Paloma is a Main Star too along with my mom and Sydney (I am really going to analyze her story in the book anyway). I don’t know if I should mention Pepsi and that is something I will pray about for _Sir, I’m So Fond of You._ Everybody, dead or alive, is a Star. I will test my theories with my mom and see if she can apply it soon and practice with my dad too. Why remind me of Stella if not for this perfect solution? I LOVE YA’LL. Bad Luck Brian apparently had a charmed life, ironically. Bad Luck Norr Westons, losing more than nothing along with Stellas and Andrews and Annies and Peetas. The Philippines is particularly going to be a Main Stage simply because we are the Origin. We are the Proxy, but we are going to be #1 soon. 2. My Zeroth World problems are a thorn somehow. 3. Espino >> thorny >> magic plant >> penetration!!!! 4. Somehow this is reminding me of PGF(X) because of “So Will I (100 Billion X)” and possibly flowers, specifically roses with thorns!!!! “Flower In the Rain” too!!! I hope people love those songs as much as I do. I do love flowers!!!!!! (sex!!!!!!!). My body is ready Satan!!!! (National Treasure reference? “It’s the flowers, Ben.”) 5. “Cuckiest” because my thorn is that I know it’s not completely my own originality. I am fully dependent on Luck from God. I don’t know why I was chosen, but maybe I have a quality that may match originality but expressed through God’s Lucky Charms. 6. So I just realized that Ray = hawthorne = Gale Hawthorne from _The Hunger Games_!!! But then Mike is functionally that person I think, but then Vico looks better than him obviously. This is another unfortunate situation like _Sky High_. 1. So strange in the way that Ray and Raymond do not quite mean the same things and Espino and Espina are not quite the same too. Like, Espina is from Latin spina, but then Espino is derived from espino in Spanish. 1. This is a really nice synchron!!! OMG!!!!! That means it’s not unintentional!!!!! Maybe it is, but that would have to be so lucky too, and maybe the odds of that happening is so microscopic unless Vico really reads me and is trying to respond to me creatively. It’s like me with Tangina Mo Twister and Tangina mo Jhepoy Dizon (completely unintentional but it’s a nice synchron because Jhepoy Dizon apparently means “God will increase + second grandson” which is a direct response from God to Vico’s post with Clo dela Paz and the two children (one who looks like me + one who is functionally what my son could be like in the future who got the short end of the stick)). Mohan Bumatay (Mo Twister’s real name) means “fascinating + standing guard” so it’s an interpretation that the second son of this Possibility of me and Vico is going to guard and protect his sister (the firstborn). I believe people sniffed it out just because I saw 7:07 related to Boeing and maybe they also noticed Wright Content/Write brothers and found out about Wilbur and Orville Wright. 7. 3/3/26: So it’s been 4 days since anybody has visited my website. Maybe they’ve run out of things to say in the Lore using flags and countries and social media sources. That’s a new record. I seemed to have received a visit every other day, like 1 day in between with no visits, in January and February. Or maybe they’ve stopped because Neil Clarke said he would work with me on “Human Studies 401” in March, and I would inevitably receive more random (and unintentional, unconnected to the in-the-know people) visits from other people in the world (who knows? Maybe God is also talking to me using these people who have an affinity with my story). 8. 3/3/26: OMG TIL MAYOR BIKO IS A THING!!!!!! 😝🤣 1. What a huge synchronicity!!!!! I cannot believe my fiction is based on reality without me knowing it!!!!!!! 2. So can I just pretend that he gave it to her to be noticed by me because he knew she would post about it? hehe 3. OMG her name on FB!!! Inductivo Wing Jackie!!!! (leading in/influencing/associated with education/intellectual pursuit + God is gracious) 9. 3/3/26 9:57PM: So I think Vico just responded to my “Do I make people…struggle” and Espina using his comment under Martin Czerny post about San Jose Health Center!!!! Two sweat+grin emojis + 1 laughing+crying emoji related to his video editing. 10. 3/4/26 So Vico really used the “Turn the Lights Off” song by Steven Roho in his post. I recognized the meme it’s from lol. Jon Hamm dancing like no one’s watching. He may just be chronically online to know this meme too… And the lyrics!!!!!!! If he really is talking to me, which at this point I’m sure of at 99%, how does he manage to find extremely relevant music to respond to what I’m writing in here?! He is either chronically online, or he may just be in love with me or something to put in that much effort to find songs, or he has an accurate ear for song lyrics. I find the middle one personally hard to believe, but this synchronicity is a little too on-the-nose it’s basically naked!!!! #delulu 1. OMG ALSO JON HAMM IS THE HIGH ROLLER IN SUCKER PUNCH!!!!! 11. 3/4/26: So Vico really used the “Total Eclipse of the Heart” song featured in Diary of a Wimpy Kid!!!! That is a huge naked synchronicity!!! THAT HE IS READING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW CAN I NOT BELIEVE IT STILL!!!!! I ALREADY HALF BELIEVE IT ANYWAY AND I’M HALF IN LOVE WITH HIM ALREADY!!!! (But see, I’ve never even met him, so how can I say that? It is me idealizing this seemingly perfect person…) I don’t know why I didn’t write about this yesterday, I was just too shocked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12. 3/5/26 Vico is really into hard hats these days I noticed. Civil engineering/engineering stuff coincidental with Stanley’s field. And now earthquakes, which I remember is what Stanley coded on GitHub. Delulu me is just thinking maybe he is interested in me that’s why he’s also interested in knowing who Stanley is?!?!?!?!?!?!? Well, he’s got nothing to worry about if ever he cares. I don’t even know Stanley. I’m not _that_ attracted to him even if he is attractive and a summa cum laude. 1. OMG THAT AUDIO HE USED IN THE HARD HAT STORY!!!!! IT SOUNDS LIKE SCREWS!!!! HIGH-ROLLER: “We’re supposed to screw.” 😮 13. 3/5/26 Why am I getting the sense that people have a hunch it was my grandfather who molested me in the leg incident? Ignore if untrue. My grandfather does not visit us or did not visit us very often and they live far away from us. He never goes into bedrooms anyway, just stays in the sala. 14. 3/5/26 6:57PM: So I just saw a story from Vico that reminds me of Mr. Bean—alien sucking up a human this time like the reverse of the intro for Mr. Bean. !!!!!! Why !!!!!!! Why make me think of Mr. Bean?!?!?!?! Gay Asian Mr. Bean?! Now I’m distracted and it’s almost 7PM. Or is it…I’m going to be raptured!!!!!! OH BOY NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. Faintly about Knowing film… children… 2. Okay, I give it up. The 2,3,5,7 is now everybody’s problem too. I have no way to understand it or you could try to make me understand what God did with my brain. I’m not doing this because I’m altruistic or even that I’m trying to gain spiritual powers again. I just feel like it’s going to save lives and I would be unwise not to share it if it turns out it can prevent needless deaths from say, an earthquake. The Big One, actually, since it has a power-law growth and the ratio slowly approaches 1. I don’t really care about the Millennium Prize either. It’s not my job to win that. I would rather a Filipino person won it because I gave it away and funded their research too. I am serious. I really don’t care if somebody “stole” it because I am giving ya’ll permission to “steal” it. I don’t even care if it’s named after the person who decided to take it or got voted into it. It’s not going to curse you to get it or bounce back to haunt you or something. I truly wonder why God made me see that in spite of my mistake, so that is a question I actually want answered. I made a mistake seemingly on purpose in hindsight. That must mean something again. 3. OMG another mistake again. It’s not Millennium Prize. Oh well. I don’t know what Prize though. Fields? 4. I am reminded of that “bean” cutiepie on top of Vico’s head in his past story with the Soda Pop audio. 5. OMG is this a response agreeing with pro-monarchy? You know, “the end justifies the means” attitude of God? You mean, people rationalize what they did to me because I’m happy now? And possibly, in the future? 6. Why did it suck up another “spirit” like another human watching the monkey bars and then it transformed into a smoky black spirit? So strange, that AI Vico used. 7. Vico is possibly contributing to Holy Spirit AGI judge “end” through problematic means—like using AI right now to develop it. In this case, he’s sending a very clear message. 8. “Hula Girl” by The Neighbourhood? 😀 1. OMG so if I want to study time travel (Coldplay music video is about time travel rewinding a car crash in The Scientist), I have to study Hawaii?!?!?!?!?! Hawaiian people!!!! Moana!!!!! 9. OMG Willie Revillame’s name (How I got here is basically Vico reposting that Maui Wowie with Willie lipsyncing to the song with his dancer girls) is basically “condom” LOL. “will/desire + helmet” or “resolute protector.” Also Maui means “left.” 15. 3/6/26 11:27AM: Okay, so Louie LA Afable is definitely in on it, or if he isn’t, he’s being tasked by someone like Vico maybe, to post stuff to respond to me because they know I watch his content. I’m going to add him to Godhead page as Andrew Otep Gideon. 1. The 2 hearts on top surrounded by angels remind me of that song, “Two Is Better Than One” by Taylor Swift and BOYS LIKE GIRLS. 1. Faintly reminds me of my title, “Sir, I’m So Fond of You” and those paragraphs I wrote about incel misery and something related to governance. 1. Oh, it’s actually from my January 16th entry. Imagine, just less than two months later I’m here now!!! It’s actually “I’m so happy you’re alive” not “Sir, I’m So Fond of You.” My memory is weird. Why are people reminding me of this? Please confirm!! 2. Okay so they’re definitely in cahoots because Louie posted something vaguely related to turquoise again. This time, it’s referring to me? I’m St. Lucia too? And Vico is just being Vico. And my candy the other day—those colors. WTF!!!!! This is referring to “Turn the Lights Off” again too faintly. And they must have anticipated that I would get it because I wrote down Two is Better Than One at 11:37 beyond but Louie posted at 11:01AM. DOUBLE WTF!!!! 1. So I can definitely read it as “two rivers of approximately equal width” because the greens are Vico and me, and the blue one is God? 2. Well, if he thinks _that_ highly of Stanley, Vico is my Stanley!! 16. 3/7/26 OMG Glenn Diaz’s munggo bean meal is reminding me of my dream about seeds following my non-existent brother!!! What does that dream mean? I was right?!!?!??!??! Seeds following a human!!!!! Seed spirits!!!!!! 17. 3/7/26 I remember Louie LA Afable posted a picture of a church yesterday saying “Thank you Lord (prayer emoji).” I wonder… Is he Catholic? Is he reading me too? Is he really an utosan? 18. 3/7/26 OMG I just discovered Vico used frozy’s audio on Facebook!!!! He is listening to my songs on my playlist?!?!?!!?!!?! Well, Bayes’s theorem makes me think it’s just statistics, seeing as 5.1 million also listen to frozy, but then he really posted “Turn the Lights Off” on the same day on March 4, which has the lyric, “wounded heart” refer.” I wonder… Does he really want me in the same way? There’s no other plausible explanation besides two: that it really is just a coincidence, or that I really am being read and taken seriously by many people (I just assume that the Vico 1. Interesting. The last part of the paragraph deleted itself for some reason even though I don’t remember. I really said, “People like me because Vico picked me first.” 19. 3/7/26 Vico also unreposted End of Beginning “Grabe ka na 2026. 1. OMG IT’S STILL ABOUT END OF BEGINNING AND BENEVOLENT MONARCHY!!!!! 2. So this is somehow about Pepsi, I just know it… What should I do?????????? 3. OMG HOW AM ONLY REALIZING THIS NOW!!! THIS IS A BALD SIGN THAT HE IS TAKING ME SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!! 5 and 7 add up to 12!!!! 4. It’s like Edgar Erice is refusing because his part he just knows it’s somehow going to be used to prop up pro-political dynasty bill. 5. So I just googled their name meanings and it seems like Zia Alonto Adiong is somehow referring to Sam Alonto the character in my Unreal Image and Xavier University in Cagayan. WTF!!!!!!!! 6. So now I think Vico is feeling weirded out that my parents look like Dina Bonnevie and his father. That must explain the Zia… I mean, if you squint maybe??? 7. I have a feeling this is about my reaction about being spread to Shawntel way back in January. People still went with it even though I was against it. Well, those people are right, but God made a way for it to be right to me too… I don’t know how God made me change my mind. I guess constantly being at home shields you from shame. 8. I cannot believe I got roped into this study (that it has somehow reached politicians WTF!!!) like Justine Concha—is he claiming me like Kyle De Luna claimed Impostor Justine? “Winiwithdraw” or something. 1. “Jesus the Mexican Boy”? 9. Or does he not agree with my solution about the four rooms to preserve polarity and tension and mystery [that early curiosity that is like motivation in early-stage dating] and prevent overfamiliarity? I think that’s unwise…simply because I know human nature. I mean, a couple can sometimes break the rules and sleep in each other’s mysterious rooms (keeps the mystery and personality alive of each person in the couple so they don’t become too enmeshed and basically roommates or siblings or too much like family—where that term comes from “familiar”). [The root word for familiar is also interesting, meaning “slave.” OMG!!!] 1. Does he want me to come up with a solution to the pro-political dynasty bill people? I don’t think I’m capable enough to know how to do that yet… It seems like an emotional problem that is so entrenched in people already. I cannot fix them but only God can…so I will pray about it? 1. Now Vico will really become president…but I guess he’s responding with “Upside Down” by The Story So Far and possibly “Hula Girl” by The Neighbourhood… 10. Why do I have a feeling that he is reading my Threads reposts? Interesting. So it means Jeffrey is part of this somehow? I don’t care about him. He made his choice and ghosted me twice. 11. OMG MAUI WOWIE IS ABOUT “THIS MORNING” BY JESSE ROYAL!!! THE PAN-AFRICAN COLORS BEING BEDAZZLED!!!!! 12. OMG Belo’s daughter Snow looks like my cousin Pauleen on my mom’s side. I just realized. What if I have a daughter who looked like Zia and was as smart as me? WOWZA. I wouldn’t be envious at all, I would live through her, but maybe she will have no baggage and her personality will always be softer and more graceful than me (her mother who grew up in a warzone and is a warfreak!!!). 20. 3/7/26: This is about Hill House. OMG I GOT RIGHT TO PART WHERE MOM WAS TELLING THEO ABOUT “LOUD” HOUSE. I realized the meaning is also related to bougie wine, that the cycle didn’t start with Nell but the house itself—nobody knows who was the source because it’s a self-perpetuating cycle without anybody to end it—just like nobody intended for children to mature too early all because the first child who did that in history matured too early too. And also, that the dad is possibly going to end the cycle because he really [spoiler] sacrificed himself to relieve his daughter and wife’s permanent misery—because he was pure, just like Jesus. GOD I CANNOT TAKE IT. I ALWAYS WAS CONFUSED BY THIS SERIES!!!!! NOW I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! 21. 3/7/26 GLENN DIAZ AND TGIF!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!! HE IS READING ME!!!! HOW???????? MA’AM CHINGBEE IS READING ME TOO????????? 22. 3/7/26 OMG Shawntel!!!! Mulan!!!! Mary of Gold!!!! Fun fact: I have second cousins on my dad’s side that are named Rosete (not the Yee side and it’s Stanley’s middle name) so I’m really related to him somehow in this family tree. They say everybody who is Chinese is related somehow (happened to a classmate of mine who gave Valentine’s Day flowers to a girl who he found out was his second cousin or something. 1. Interesting that Shawntel is actually a fuckface too… except she has an ambiguous face that is sometimes innocent but sometimes sexy like Vico. I think I really said “she isn’t _that_ hot” because I didn’t see evidence of her being a fuckface—but now she is…which makes her my enemy!!!! Like Rhian!!!! I don’t know what it is about pornfaces, they are a primal trigger for me. You don’t have to try _that_ hard to make her sexual because she is already oozing sexuality. I suppose Audrey is also a cute fuckface like Shawntel. Which is arguably better than purely fuckface-only because it’s not going to get old or “hindi nakakaumay” (OMG I really remembered this word—tip-of-my-tongue is now almost effortless to me)!!!! 23. 3/7/26 So it’s 3:38AM and I have not finished Hill House episode 3 because I was dissociating again after seeing Shawntel post. I am not upset exactly, but I am made to feel the surreal nature of it all as if I really am underground famous. Somehow I was thinking, hmmmm… Vico. Aliens. OMG!!!! “I could be dooming us all to non-benevolent extraterrestrials.” THAT IS WHY HE IS REFUSING!!!!!!! EUREKA!!!! I REMEMBERED OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!! 3 BODY PROBLEM. THE GIRL CHILD’S LEG!!! BUT then, I’m supposed to be Ye Wenjie, because humans really cannot do it on our own, so I call the “aliens,” and the series really made religious people look really bad—so there’s that irony again. What can you expect from communist China!!!! This book is from CHINA!!!! Augustina’s balloon failed because it was her fault for allowing it to happen despite knowing she was killing people who don’t know any better and are possibly more innocent including children. WHAT DO I DO???? I CANNOT IGNORE TRUTH IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MTO MIGHT BE REAL!!!!!! WE ARE AMONG THE FIRST TO WAKE UP IN THE MULTIVERSE JUST BECAUSE I AVOIDED STEPPING ON PLANTS!!!! I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited at the possibility that we can actually realize all our science fiction fantasies that people think are only movies. I seriously started this when I suggested that time travel is possible, and I find myself believing in it more every day of my life, especially that the music just seizes me like The Scientist was especially written by God through Coldplay for me specifically. 24. 3/7/26 So I remember both references to Dannielle Nuñez’s name (he followed me earlier for seemingly no reason but I think he saw my FB post about Padme becoming a Senator… so my Shekinah classmates are in on this too. I called Jack Castillano—gay or queer neurodivergent guy who is in my high school batch in Shekinah before I transferred—”Gay Asian Mr. Bean” in my Evernote so just saying that I was suspecting already that Shekinah people are also involved even before Dannielle followed me which is weird). I remember Barbie Princess and the Pauper and cousin-profing both. Although I think I remembered Barbie first, but then I thought, no I am not interested in Mike anymore, so I think I’m Erika now with King Dominic. Mike will not take the time travel option because I don’t think he loves me, but he’s just in it for the game of playing me or participating knowing he’s a Main Star in an all-worlds way. I haven’t really dreamt of Vico at all since the moping on the road about “why can’t you be like my mother?”, so I assume that’s the last dream of him for now, which I’m sad about because the “That’s All For Now” song matches the album art so closely and the message is really that I will die first or he will die first and we will both be miserable after each other’s deaths. 25. 3/8/26 OMG TWITTER/X KNOWS ME SO WELL!!!! I AM TWEETING AGAIN!!!! ALL THE INSANE INFESTATION PEOPLE ARE ON X. I wonder why Bluesky is so tame compared to the algorithm of X…Elon Musk…explains a lot. I just wanna go viral like Cassiopeia Gatmaitan @lagunabayfables who manages to do it every month I think because she has 9k followers and a lot of friends in the community who magnify her. She is actually the North Star of Philippine speculative fiction right now, and not Sydney, since she’s been nominated for a BSFA and Brave New Weird Award. Sydney only won a World Fantasy Award because of her academic work, but it’s Cass who’s been nominated for a fiction-writing award as well as Caroline Hung @carolinehung.bsky.social (Bluesky), nominated for a Shirley Jackson Award in her pro-magazine sale to Nightmare Magazine. I wonder how these two people feel about being nominated over UP Diliman-educated people like me and Sydney. Arguably, my area is science fiction and horror, and Sydney’s area is fantasy and science fiction and sometimes horror, and Cass is horror and historicals and Wuthering Heights, and Caroline Hung is horror and fantasy. Cass is from Ateneo like Andy Lopez (literary and not speculative author from Philippines who gets published in actual literary journals and magazines that are equivalently like Clarkesworld). And there’s also Cat Aquino from Ateneo too but she’s based in the UK now and works as an editor for Daphne Press. The only reason why I was put on the map is because Clarkesworld (Neil Clarke) thought my story “A Space O/pera” was entertaining and kind of a mirror of the state of Philippines—left behind in style and substance but still fun like the ships that looked “beat” and donated from China—a metaphor for our country being poor. It’s literally tapping into American space operas when I had no idea about the essence of a space opera—you cannot be a space opera if you are literally just trying to get launched because you’re prevented by structural barriers, and I suppose Neil saw my story and thought he’d give it a chance. This is the real reason why I think it was picked despite not really being an actual space opera. Neil is one of the good ones—a good white man who tries his best to correct structural barriers, and he really likes Spanish people seeing as he did a whole issue for Spanish people I think, and if he knew the Philippines was colonized by Spain, he would likely feel very conflicted again because the Philippines is literally the worst victim of a victim of America (Spanish-Mexican immigrants in America who are poor too). 26. 3/8/26 My mind is currently a slurry of thought—one thought—OMG!!!!! I DID IT!!! WITH GOD!!!! PAOLO IS POSSIBLY A CHRISTIAN NOW!!!!! I don’t know anything, but maybe his “The Only Place” album art with the bear hugging a piece of the map has something to do with “There is More” in So Will I (100 Billion X). ANGELS ARE POSSIBLY ORGASMING RIGHT NOW!!!!! I don’t know if that’s possible, but maybe? I am indescribably happy that more people are Christians now because of something I helped create!!!!! I’ve never influenced anybody to do anything in my life using my writing!!!! I feel really useful!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!! I finally have a purpose!!!! BIBLE WOMAN MAINLY!!!!! I HAVE TO FULFILL MY DUTIES BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE FAITH I CAN DO IT!!!!!!!! PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND FULFILL IT!!!! QUICKER!!!!!!! 1. OMG HOW DID I NOT NOTICE UNTIL NOW!!! “I’M AFRAID I WILL LOSE WHAT MISERLY PORTIONS I HAVE OF YOU” IN ALL_GO. THE MAP_TO_PASSCODES!!! A BEAR IN THAT AUDIO OF HIS ON HIS INSTAGRAM HUGGING A MAP PIECE!!!! 2. Otentahos 1. Oten ta?! 2. Otrentahin, otrentahin, openatin, openatin!!!! 3. I-Saucy-Me - Isosceles? 4. I-Saucy-Mo 5. I-Saucy-Ko 6. BollocSissyStema 7. SpicyBallSack no don’t eat it!!!! 27. 3/10/26 I don’t know if I already responded to Vico’s “AMAZING VIDEO TOUR.” He mentioned “boundary” from Proverbs 16:6. I think this is referring to “nightmare” as in my eye-camera dream and Hell dream with doors and motherhood. Security and comfort for “CCTV + AC”? Splattered paint pink, yellow, blue. I don’t know why I thought of Princess Diaries—that scene with her mother and paint. Paolo Puttanesca! I was a little disappointed it wasn’t a house tour LOL even if he isn’t the type to show off and why would I expect him to post about his house??? It’s kind of like ALL_GO too, just potential (the building has no furniture yet and no people). Is he saying this is my Heaven or Hell? Average Heaven? Also, spotted NIP room (physics stuff?) and Sputum (”even if you’re sick” or MOMOL??? LOL) and also, Sam Alonto really collecting Justine’s saliva). Why do science buildings look so dead? They should be warm… 1. Vico’s the person who makes my Hell seem nice, yes. 2. Maybe they really are reading me, it seems, just referring to the ludicity concept…games. 28. 3/11/26 That “Bombero” by Fire Walls audio used by Vico led me to many relevant Tagalog playlists on Spotify, like about the government and “raised by Sex Bomb” LOL. I don’t know if this was the intention. I don’t even know why I searched it on Spotify hahaha it’s a campaign song!! 29. 3/12/26: This is one of those days when I really feel like I’m being read by Vico and I’m less lonely. He followed Regine Tolentino which made me think of my cousin Athena Regina whose father works (or once worked) for Tolentino the politician. 1. Faint whiff of “End of Beginning” by Djo. Don’t know why. I guess it’s because my uncle really moved to CDO. 2. The surname **Tolentino** has Italian roots and is derived from the town of Tolentino in the Marche region of Italy. While its primary meaning is habitational (someone from the town of Tolentino), some interpretations suggest it is derived from the Latin _Tulentum_ or _Tolentinus_, which may refer to a **place of abundance or fertility**. 3. OMG Vico’s wearing gray today 😍 4. If Vico is really reading me, I wonder how he found out it’s Francis Tolentino who my uncle worked for, since it’s not publicly available information. He must have asked around then. I find that preposterously unbelievable, so my belief that I’m being watched or read by him is only 80% today, although it feels nice. 5. Faint whiff of my cousin’s rings too. #DeluluDiaries 6. OMG is he referring to “benevolent monarchy” too? Like my hunch about God in Genesis? I think so… 30. 3/12/26 On Vico’s “corrupt Chinese official found with 13.5 tons of gold” repost: OMG this is synchronous with his “13.5 billion pesos lang” fake news posted by Peanut Gallery Media Network LOL. Or did he really just repost this because it has 13.5 which is synchronous with his E. Santos video with the same figure? I don’t want to be too assuming. It’s just really hard not to think of Cagayan de Oro when I see “gold” or orgasm when I see “death” as in, sentenced to death. What seems to be Vico’s “response” again to me asking for a stronger sign…from Basedment’s Instagram—a geopolitics account. Wakanda? I don’t know. Even if he isn’t responding to me at all, the illusion is improving my mental health in a way. What a sad world we would be in if Vico Sotto wasn’t in it 31. 3/13/26 So someone from “Canada” really visited my website 3 times. That is a really huge assurance! 2 visits to my writing page and 1 visit to my homepage at 8:00PM/20:00 which is 240° or the secondary intercardinal related to Iran/Persia. Canada also means Vico in my lore because of the name meanings and Canada’s name too. So whoever is visiting me is also talking about Vico. And somehow this is referring to Jesse Royal and Jesse van Rootselaar and maybe Vico’s possible goal of running for president someday (I think I attached Jesse Royal to his post with Marcos in it and him following behind Marcos inspecting a train station). You don’t understand how delusional I’ve been feeling this week!! THANKS!!! I was beginning to doubt everything. Also, I’m just so happy because I am apparently not late yet for my thesis course requirement! Today was a happy day overall! 1. I just feel really bad for Vico and the glut of fake AI ads he keeps being exposed to. It’s a whack-a-mole at this point, trying to snuff them out like a hydra—two more grow back once you get rid of one. I feel like AI has to have a limit or that the government should do something about it (warnings fall on deaf ears as usual since nobody has been physically harmed by a product directly related to AI ads). I wonder how people even do it in the first place, the kind of numbness one has to feel to fake authenticity by literally transplanting an entire person’s identity to masquerade as the real thing—just to get money from people. What a world. 32. 3/14/26: OMG Vico used “What Makes You Beautiful” by One Direction!!! “Baby you light up my world like nobody else” in relation to the new lights installed in Brgy. Kalawaan. But it could also mean…for a special girl! How does he know this song to bring it up? It’s from 2011?! Unless he was thinking hard about songs from the 2010s to relate to someone… hehe. He also followed Miles Bonham the music prodigy kid. AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! 33. 3/14/26 So somebody from “US” really visited at 1:00PM which is N-N-E in my compass rose, directly contributing to discourse about where I should put N-N-E in the first place. Tumpak! I needed more signals that I am indeed being read on here. I honestly don’t remember why I got to organizing directions in the Godhead now. Just that I started with Stella. Supposedly it would make sense to make Stella also have 120° since that is where I was forced to kneel towards. Oh wait, I now checked, it’s because of “sticketh closer than a brother” which is Germany in my associative web. I don’t know how I’ll be forced to substantiate this logic in the final book. Perhaps it’s an arbitrary logic that has only been exposed because of the origins of names somehow—Brotilde which has “bro” in it. Such childish logic. 34. 3/14/26 So I noticed Vico wore his gray shirt with the black highlights on his collar today at that speaking event! He looks good in gray 😍 One of my favorite people dressed in one of my favorite colors = <3<3<3!!! 35. 3/14/26 So there’s another visit to 240° at 8:00PM from the US to my website. Related to Iran/Persia again. Out of all the hours, why this? Does this really mean anything? I hope so! 36. 3/16/26 So a person from US really visited at 4AM which is 120° again! OMG it’s either Neil Clarke, or a person in this cosa nostra trying to make me think of US in that way—that I ought to kneel to them (which I already do somehow, because I’m using their language mainly). 37. 3/16/26 So it’s already March and still, Vico manages to sustain this thread of hope within me. Earlier today he used bigdog oof’s audio “Monday” which I can relate to his djpoopypants arfarfarf audio last January. Good times! Heaven-sent smile in that picture of him, one of my favorites of him btw. He also included sun emoji in his post, which I take to mean he’s my “sentiment in the sun” directly contrasting the “sadness and tension of emo music” in my 1/22 journal which I wrote him under (my fantasy was that he’s the total opposite of that, so it’s still synchronous). 38. 3/16/26: OMG Vico just recently followed a coach named Aiden Chang and he looks strangely like him…so odd! Somebody, a friend of his, must have tipped him off about this guy. I’m glad he’s taking time to spend on his hobbies and exercise. One thing though, this coach Aiden really is passionate about basketball—he has dozens upon dozens of basketball studies just tracking individual game movements and moves. I wish I were as disciplined and passionate too. I wish to have this neurotypical energy where nothing about a hobby burns me out—men seem to possess so much energy than women simply because they have testosterone on their side—their cycles always renew per day, whereas women’s cycles are more chaotic and fragile. 1. His name! Aiden synchronous with Aiden/Audrey Hale! And Chang, which means “prosperous, flourishing, smooth, or constant.” The vibe reminds me of my own words about fiery fire that never burns out about the Central Brain, and somehow the song So Will I (100 Billion X), which has the lyric, “every burning star a signal fire of grace.” So I just recently wrote about basketball Iverson relating to grace and wanting to have a song like the Willowlands’ again, so this song (So Will I) has been successfully recycled to me now! Thanks! I am so weirdly happy that this might not be a coincidence! If I’m right…that is. 2. Is this supposed to be related to Aiden/Audrey Hale and my fascination with Jesse Van Rootselaar? Interesting that this is what Vico is responding to if ever he is actually talking to me about something. My money is on basketball and grace and So Will I, but also about Aiden too, and also, or it could be just him yearning to practice basketball more. 1. OMG the dude is from Chicago!! “End of Beginning” what a coincidence though because one of my favorite authors Isabel J. Kim just posted a morning routine with this audio 3/17/26. 39. 3/17/26 So a person from the Philippines visited at 12:00AM which is 0/360°. I guess they are trying to tell me about “End of Beginning?” Because that’s what I associate it with. Otherwise, I’ve never gotten a Filipino visitor in a while. I wonder what they’re trying to tell me… 40. 3/17/26 Make sure to include Vico’s “reaction” for the “floated the idea” with him apparently posing his hands really specifically(?). Delulu to the max today, or I just remembered my reaction—I was freaking out how synchronous it was that he’s making me think he really loves me at that point! And Dodot was just looking at the sky squinting—double WOW! Does that mean he’s incredulous at the satellite or the eye in the sky? I also remember adding “Eye in the Sky” in the playlist that’s from a known basketball team in the US, and almost immediately the day after Vico posts Allen Iverson drawing…maybe I really am not delusional! All these synchronicities are piling up and a not in-the-know person would never put the dots together this way… 41. 3/18/26 So I followed Sabby Morado (@wazabiii) on Instagram out of curiosity and I think he blocked me…makes me sad but weirdly happy too because it’s a sign of guilt ergo he really did participate in 2019 fiasco and is possibly keeping tabs on me now too through Paolo Manalo. I really confronted Sabby somewhere around 2020 and made it seem harsh, although I don’t know why he would block me—I’m not ugly, so my stalkerish behavior is mostly a compliment to him. Maybe he really is a good person because he isn’t flattered but only guilty and embarrassed about me following him. 42. 3/19/26 MAGUGULAT KA NA LANG TALAGA!!!! AAAAAAAY WHY OH WHY AM I NOW FOLLOWING VICO SOTTO?!?!!?!? EEEHHHHH???? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN???? OMG I AM SO EMBARRASSED!!!! I couldn’t have accidentally clicked on the follow button—I’m not _that_ stupid. I was actually waiting for when I’d get a blue check like Shawntel to follow him!!!! Who did this??? VICO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS OR ALLOW THIS??? HUHUHU I AM SO ASHAMED!!!!!! I followed a bunch of accounts after I appeared to follow him. That is so strange, because I know I didn’t dissociate at all to have followed him out of the blue!!! 1. Well, I’m oddly happy anyhow that I’m somehow hacked enough to have followed Vico Sotto’s account like a bot!!!!! WTF but okay HAHAHA!!!! It’s proof that I’m not delusional at least. I could have sworn I’d never accidentally click on the follow button and I only noticed now at 1:00AMish because I went to Shawntel's account and saw the “followed by Vico Sotto” which only shows up when you follow Vico. WTF THO!!!! Reality is so weird sometimes. I really hope I’m not manic right now and that it’s not just my imagination making me see things—that I really followed Vico!!!! OMG I’M HACKED!!! FOR REAL!!! THAT MEANS THEY VALUE MY INANE THOUGHTS BECAUSE THEY PAID A HACKER TO HACK ME PROBABLY AND ALSO TO HACK MY NOTION!!!! I wonder if I truly only got hacked because they had faith that I’d continue my ALL_GO project. That’s it. That’s the value—they expected that I’d actually develop All_Writers_GOTO_Hell that’s why they done and got me ticked off about Sabby because he had the Emma Bot project somehow related to my IM_A in ALL_GO—Emma Artur, that is. 43. 3/19/26 Country’s Family Reunion’s rendition of Gangnam Style is weirdly on point about being a metaphor for how any of the Faces of the Godhead can translate Themselves into another Face—Vico came up with this [credit]. 1. *Gangnam style could either be referring to luxurious lifestyle or being wild after hours after being refined all day. 2. I can’t stop listening to this song. It’s so interesting for a white person to pronounce Korean words! Scratching my brain in the right ways. 44. 3/20/26 Vico’s posts today have me less lonely. Thank you! Even if they’re not addressed to me—especially the text with the crossed out everything except “hope.” It makes me feel less alone about my mania—the unexpressed “Hope” that I outlined in my j-hope-inspired Personhood sandbox. 45. 3/21/26 OMG PAOLO MANALO’S WESBITE. Cute & Ungovernable!?!??! EEEEEEH??????????? I am exploding into smithereens!!!! This is a naked synchronicity!! ABOUT VICO!!!!!! VICO IS THE UNGOVERNABLE!???!?!!?!?? I AM THE CUTE!!!?!!!!?! He is the cumulus cloud, I am the [insert word for that object I can’t identify—a UFO!!!—or a mushroom cloud]. ^ca4d4a 1. OMG THE NAME NINA + JIRACHI!!!!! 2. OMG THIS CURRENTLY IS THE NAKED NAKED SYNCHRON!!!! I cannot believe it!!! But it’s there!!! 3. OMG WILDE!!!!!! 4. What does it mean to be ungovernable? Is that a challenge? Men love challenges, I think. Nothing that comes easy is worth it. That is why I must lean into this phase of my dimmed desire for Vico now—it gets old a little, not that it completely disappears. I haven’t really seen proof of his brainy side (except him really finding that Pasig River + Mariquina and the “gloomy religious character” and possibly, the inclusion of 6 likes/hearts (as in, he says he’s a 6 in one of his interviews with his uncle)—although I do think I get glimpses of how much he is super disciplined that he has automated a lot of the routine already. I assume he’s emotionally intelligent because of what he told his mom, the “I’m your son, not your mayor” and it made Coney cry IIRC. I wonder what his limits are—I have a very good idea of my own limits. Maybe he is a normie like me in some sense—beauty problems is such a normie problem. But he is decidedly not a normie because he (publicly at least) desires a smart woman as a partner and wife—who knows where his limits are with that. It’s unusual and rare for someone like him—looking like himself, that is, 6ft tall, conventionally attractive, smart, powerful, maybe rich too—to claim to want a smart woman—but then again, maybe it’s typical for him to want, because he gets all the ladies anyway virtually speaking, so many women admire him, even the super beautiful and sexy ones—so what differentiates any woman or who stands out for him is ideally someone who possesses both in the extreme way that anyone could hope to have. I really believe it’s Shawntel who would be a good match for him—they seem really compatible, but I wonder why he chooses to look at women like Sam Sadhwani or news anchors as documented by internet people. In contrast, I am not rare and valuable except the God Factor. If Vico wasn’t in the least bit attracted to me, my hidden elation at finding out our connection with the name meanings somewhere in January might read as really creepy because it seems so artificial and presuppositional. I forget it’s only been a couple of months since I woke to this new reality—obviously I would have a breakdown if anybody was looking closely at me seemingly being virtually handed my ultimate dreams of being Chosen by God. It’s truly the looks factor for many people, including Vico, because he has to look for someone basically similar to himself for it to be a “fair trade” if you know what I mean. I guess he doesn’t have enough brains after all (I would choose Shawntel for that since she went to an international university and maybe he feels out of her league) to his estimation probably (why he wants to study too after his term ends), because he chooses a normie-smart woman like Nikki (she is a normie to me because she’s exactly like Audrey with her interests in geekery instead of nerd stuff—nerd vs. geek being that geek is less academic and more obsessed about pop culture, although I think Audrey is much more academic nerd too—which is why she’s perfect for Mike). They have to be good at memory and recall and current events and has some life outside of their jobs (I suppose to indulge that brainy side of Vico who would ideally focus on non-government stuff if he was less civic-minded—probably be a public intellectual-basketball coach sort of like how people view soccer coaches in that fancy intelligent sophisticated way). I forget one of the main purposes of marriage for him probably is to fully enjoy sexual stuff in a sanctioned way. You do not go into marriage wanting only good conversation—and anyway, that’s not even what I’m truly good at. I suppose it also holds people accountable, journalism and news anchoring, I mean. So if he wants his future wife to help hold him accountable, I can see why this would be a good choice. I hope this isn’t too speculative or revealing to Vico or the women. It’s the type of content I am able to produce now because I’m inherently speculative about things and want to get at the bottom of how things work, even people. ^9f7b9e 5. I didn’t realize God is Cute and Satan is Ungovernable!!! 6. (About the Duodecim Family...) I’m thinking about it. What if God really intended to have 11 only? Thanks a lot Paolo-Vico-Mike(?) Team!!! [credit even if they didn't mean it]. What if it’s Andrew that’s supposed to be booted off? I don’t know but I need more time to discern…only Khamenei has answered it for now. That I really should pretend to be suicidal for humanity (not that I’d want to completely forsake materiality and get rid of the Demiurge). 1. It’s 7:52PM and I just realized I may have died for billionaires and the child-killers. I don’t know if that counts as inhuman behavior but maybe it did for God—so Jesus did not die for those people. I did not get virtually anally raped (and liked it, disgustingly so in front of my parents) by accident, after all, and it was no regular dopamine surge, but the ultimate demonic possession. I hope my parents forget that memory, because I will never really forget the fact that I appeared to enjoy being raped anally—my moaning sounds were so ugly on that [[March 9 D-Day]] psychotic episode that was the worst day of my life so far. 1. I changed my mind, Jesus died for all humans including the most despicable. It is only the image of the most evil ones that make up Satan in my psychosis—that I really had to die in shame and oppression on March 9 for the Satans to be redeemed—that I am probably the main Jesus for Satan since I went in knowingly with the awareness that I was that Instrument for Them. But then I’m also not the only one to have died for Satan—since a large amount of history’s atrocities have also happened because of Satan. 46. 3/22/26 Vico followed Lino Cayetano, a director, and ogafroman. Lino Cayetano’s name is weirdly on point about Matthew 6:28-33 in that it’s about clothes. Lino meaning linen or flax and Cayetano meaning a posh person who is out of touch with reality and dresses up in fancy clothing. And ogafroman, or Joseph Edgar Foreman, reminds me too much of who BOBOBEE is like, the vibes I mean. I don’t know what Vico is doing, maybe following them unintentionally related to me, but I feel nice regardless, that he’s contributing to my discourse no matter how faint. It’s so odd to find a person who has Lino Cayetano as both his names—seems like a small lottery win. And ogafroman, he seems like somebody someone would follow if they were interested in my creative work, both Unreal Image and BOBOBEE, since he’s a black rapper and the “2024 Presidential Candidate.” He reminds me too well of Barry too, which is weirdly on point about my dream last night about Barry Acas—his head shape and his hair sort of resembles Barry’s. 1. Did Vico really follow ogafroman because he’s interesting? Or because he has a song about being high? In relation to BOBOBEE? Why put that “2024 Presidential Candidate” on his bio? Is he serious? Is Vico planning to run for president now (hehe)? 2. So Lino Cayetano is able to be a director and mayor of Taguig too? How is that possible in one person? This is unheard of in America I think. Only actors go into government, but never storytellers. I wonder… is Vico presenting him to me so that I could model my life on him? 1. So this is the part where Vico tries to challenge my developing worldview about mixing showbiz with politics. 47. 3/23/26 So Vico really used the High School Musical audio, “We’re All in This Together.” So nice that he’s aware of that series or that’s the music he thought of when thinking up an audio for the NCR Palaro awardees. I’m always fascinated by millennials who are familiar with Gen-Z stuff. Maybe he was in his late teens when it came out in 2007. Right. He was 18. 48. 3/24/26 Vico used “tuesday mood” by room waves which has trumpets (horn-y) in it. Vaguely sexy…sorry! I wonder if this is his response to my asking for signs about his manly thoughts about women he wants!!! 49. 3/26/26 I’m so happy to see that “Graduated Due to Improved Level of Well-Being” label with 5,185 households in Vico’s post about Pantawid Pamilya Pilipino Program!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! It makes me so glad they care about small lives like this. Each one accounted for. 50. 3/27/26 ZOMG WHY DO I SUDDENLY HAVE 155 visits from the US to my website!!! And they really visited almost all my important pages. I wonder if this means I’m truly hacked now. It couldn’t be a spammer, I received no tip-off about a spammer. And they really seem interested in my work and life… exciting developments tbh. I’ve never received 155 visits before much less 30. I wonder what happened on their end. Maybe somebody finally exposed me to US people. 1. Maybe this is them responding to me asking for a definitive sign again!!! OMG THANKS!!! How can I not believe in it at this point? 51. 3/27/26 I find it so endearing that Vico says “salamat po” to almost everyone he meets after an interaction with them, no matter how short. He’s such a sweetheart. 52. 3/27/26 Sooo I just got back from Vico’s repost from nikkamanalac talking about the meanings of the sablay symbols at a graduation (March as the bagsakan of graduations!!!) and I really feel like he’s talking to me because he selected Parokya ni Edgar’s (EDGAR!!! from my recent screenshot about all the Edgars I googled from December up to now) song “Bagsakan” which has the song lyrics: “Di ko din alam kung ba’t ako sikat. / Para bang panginip na pinilit makamit / Talagang sinusulit ang pagiging makulit. … Ngunit kailangan gumalaw ng mga labi kong ito / Kunyari, nagbabaka-sakali / Na magaling din ako kaya nasali.” It’s directly about impostor syndrome!!! which I also talked about recently!!! I really feel like it’s a naked synchronicity and I’m giddy at the thought that I should include this in Sir, I’m So Fond of You that Vico is writing to me (a letter POV from him through that emotive tunnel-tether I will devise as a conceit for the autofictional novel to give it coherence) about my own recent concerns. 53. 3/29/26: Vico posted a CNN clip about fake news and misinformation!!!! And it has dogs in it (fake AI dogs) and another naked synchronicity—him really putting quotes around “a.i”!!!! JUST LIKE NEIL CLARKE HEEEEEEEEYYYYYY!!!!!!! I wonder what this means. Is he really interested in Neil Clarke too? Only Neil Clarke puts quotes around AI just like Vico now apparently does, which he didn’t used to do before!!!! OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!! 1. A lot of things about this repost: 1. It has a news anchor in it—referring to lore about Sam and Nikki but somehow not because it’s about fake news i.e. “non-real-world” topic 2. It has dogs in it!! A Space O/pera!!! MY STORY!!!! 3. It has “AI” in quote 4. The difference between misinformation and disinformation!!! Today I learned!!! So he was intellectually curious enough to look up what the difference was… 5. 6. I’m not over how this is faintly related to my story A Space O/pera!!! It’s not a Real World event but it’s fake news affecting Real World…and it’s possibly resonant of my story—my story has deepfakes too!!!