### Dreams 🧫 No dreams. It’s like the Godhead gave me more time today (I would be neck deep in analysis if I had dreams). ### Ruminations 🩻 **Central insight you should not ever forget about the human condition:** - [ ] **People were more psychotic probably, I have a hunch. Religion wouldn’t have flourished if it weren’t for ideals being sustained by the belief in a Creator or God who oversaw people’s behavior (a higher power that could grant you favor or punish you depending on a vague-to-clear-ish standard). As time passed by, many people who were schizo-leaning were slowly edged out of the gene pool and people no longer accessed the sublime, and crucially, that compass towards moral behavior. People’s moral behavior got even worse to the point where we appeared to improve with industrialization. But I suspect capitalism’s cause is because of that fundamental denial to see the Truth of God’s watchful Gaze. People stopped policing their behavior. More and more people got heartened to conquer worlds and build empires because they couldn’t police the very thing that sits in their soul—the abundance of greed and the need to be significant, the need to be important, the need to be elevated and recognized, the need to be superior, and the need to be seen and heard. That fundamental question that a human asks to God, “Am I loved?” (If not, what can I do to approximate this satisfaction through the extreme pursuit of money, sex, drugs, entertainment, work, play, and power?)** - [ ] God is all-too-human for seemingly possessing an “end justifies the means” orientation towards Reality. But we are not God. ### Catchy Wordplay/Puns/Copy/Bursts & Spritz 👑 1. “He is a fructose-rich fruit and I’m a lowly avocado…” 1. Apparently, avocados taste like clean penis. ### Morning Pages ⚜️ 12:46PM: Late start. I felt physically fatigued in the morning, because I didn’t really sleep the other day. Well, my three biggest problems are time management, insecurity/envy, and laziness. THANK GOD THESE ARE MY ONLY PROBLEMS CURRENTLY AND NOT DISEASE OR WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Moderate problems = procrastination (part of fear of being incompetent and avoiding the struggle) and disorganization. Also, money (need to buy Ideaverse Pro and other necessities). ### Progress/Momentum ⚗️ > **12:14AM: 3/3/26 It feels good to work. It feels good to finish. It feels great to bathe for real. It feels even better to move. Aspire to be “fairly disciplined” instead of stubbornly disciplined. Build momentum. Beat records every day. Love the work. Anad-anaron lang. You will get used to it. You will even grow to love it. The sense of achievement will return when your effort is poured into discipline despite the overload of stimulation from all input sources in the Heavens and Earth. You will let God do the rest. The old adage is true, “with great power comes great responsibility.” You are accountable to what you do with your talents like in the Parable of the Talents. Do not let your precious jewels fall on the roadside that will waste away in time and procrastination. Die to self. You are responsible for every single second you waste unoptimized. Remember September 2025? What happened to those three glorious days where you snapped into place and woke up like clockwork and did all those heavy tasks? Remember that feeling. That you were back in high school. That you had actually tapped into a high school headspace—time travel—to leak some of her abundance of discipline into your current brain. It is neither your flesh nor your mind that is the enemy, but your heart that does not always see God’s eyes on you, that you are not at this second being watched by the God who made you to become so much more than you can even imagine, if you just internalized the idea that God is always watching you, a God who exists materially despite your every instinct to prioritize visual and sensual proof only (God exists in you and around you and through you and you will not understand this fully in this lifetime probably, but will only feel it acutely almost every day of your life). And, you will be able to luxuriate in play and rest when you have done your absolute best with work first.** **1. 3/3/26 1:06PM: HALLELUJAH!!!! GRAND EUREKA AGAIN WITH SATAN NATURE OF EVE/ANNIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 1. 3/3/26 I managed to get rid of some tabs with YouTube The Marginalian. Learned a lot. I think my cousin Eros talked about me since someone from Durham followed me recently with very little followers. 2. 3/3/26 VERY PRODUCTIVE DAY. It is 9:02PM and I managed a lot of brilliant ideas about Satan-Mary/Mary-Satan and quantum theory and also, I developed my structure/organization more in the final book. 3. 3/4/26 OMG ANOTHER GRAND EUREKA AT 2:29AM. Even though it may not look like it. See more in DIY Business/Marketing and how to make Christianity more appealing by making Christianity “highly optional” to interpreting dreams. 4. **3/4/26!!!!!!!! HOLY MOTHER FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE GRANDEST OF THE GRAND EUREKAS!!!!!!!! FUCK I FIGURED IT OUT USING SIGNS FROM VICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S A SUCKER PUNCH ALL RIGHT BECAUSE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS DAY TO BE SPECIAL AT ALL, BUT OUT OF NOWHERE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE LED TO THIS POINT TO HYPOTHESIZE WHAT SATAN DID EXACTLY THAT CAUSED EDEN TO FAIL IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING IN REAL WORLD CAN MATCH PORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S AN UNREAL IMAGE >= REAL OBJECT. IT’S THE CURSED P = NP PROBLEM’S SOLUTION TOO POSSIBLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE GOT TO STUDY THEORETICAL COMPUTER SCIENCE AND BECOME A MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT IS 58 MILLION PESOS UP FOR GRABS (THE MILLENNIUM PRIZE) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE!!!! THAT THE GREATEST REAL PROBLEM OF GOD IS THE P = NP PROBLEM IN PARALLEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MEANS IT HAS BEEN SOLVED FIRST BEFORE IT CAN BE VERIFIED!!!!! GOD IS PLACING A REALLY HUGE AND MAGNIFICENT STAMP OF APPROVAL ON MY ENTIRE LIFE’S WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 1. **3/4/26 4:24PM I STAND CORRECTED!!!! THIS IS THE GRANDEST OF THE GRANDEST EUREKAS BECAUSE I FINALLY UNITED THEISTIC EVOLUTION WITH CREATION STORY FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COMPLETE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO THAT EVE DIDN’T HAVE TO BE THE LITERAL FIRST HUMAN, ONLY THE FIRST HUMAN WITH THE ABILITY TO VISUALIZE ANYTHING SO STRONGLY. PRE-EVE AND PRE-ADAM BEING THE PARENTS OF EVE, DAUGHTER OF “UNSTOPPABLE FORCE AND IMMOVABLE OBJECT.” PRE-ADAM AND PRE-EVE (IMPORTANT ACTUALLY), BOTH HAVING APHANTASIA BUT THEIR COMBINATION RESULTED IN A MUTATION—EVE—AN IMPOSSIBILITY THAT CANNOT BE QUESTIONED OR EXPLAINED—IT’S AN AXIOM OF REALITY. THE CATASTROPHE THAT STARTED IT ALL!!!! AND I AM THE EUCATASTROPHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMG I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M PHILIP PULLMAN’S LYRA FUNCTIONALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 1. **I CANNOT BELIEVE MY FUCKING GODLUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I REALLY DID “END OF BEGINNING” TODAY OF ALL DAYS!!!!!!!!! MY FIRST HUNCHES ABOUT EVE AND ADAM HAVING APHANTASIA AND IT TURNS OUT IT’S JUST PRE-ADAM AND PRE-EVE WHO HAD APHANTASIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVEN APHANTASIA HAS THE HOMONYM FANTASIA IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 2. **Possibly, pre-Eve had schizophrenia too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAW UNREAL IMAGES MATERIALIZING IN REAL WORLD THROUGH HER MIND (BUT NO ABILITY TO CONSCIOUSLY VISUALIZE THINGS YET).** 1. **What is the composition of a mutation? The clue is in my parents’ lives and Jeffrey’s parent’s lives. More like, photonegative pairs made of the most anti-Abby marriage of two Negative lesbian Abbys (parents said, “no privacy for my son” because Jeffrey’s parents did not give him his own room) and anti-Vico of two Negative gay Vicos (parents did “not listen to me at all” like my experience). What is it about four of these damaged parents coming together to birth a mutation—schizophrenia. It’s like pairing two electrons (two negatively charged particles that supposedly repulse each other but magically become attracted to each other). So it’s kinda gay (homo-something) that is the axiomatic (the fundamental unit is an electron). I think I reached it. Finally!!!!!** 2. **Elementary particles are the fundamental, indivisible building blocks of the universe, possessing no known internal structure. Classified by the Standard Model, they include [fermions](https://www.google.com/search?q=fermions&sca_esv=0c0ded2c55dfde36&sxsrf=ANbL-n4mxVScMuxL0CCOIp-hRwWlU8byqQ%3A1772616828659&ei=fPynae76J465vr0P7KSCoAw&biw=1274&bih=776&ved=2ahUKEwi4qayp-IWTAxWuhq8BHdEnKKsQgK4QegYIAQgAEA8&uact=5&oq=what+is+an+elementary+particle&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiHndoYXQgaXMgYW4gZWxlbWVudGFyeSBwYXJ0aWNsZTIFEAAYgAQyBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB5IyyZQ0QRY9CVwBHgBkAEBmAHcAqABzC-qAQgwLjIwLjguMrgBA8gBAPgBAZgCIaAC8y3CAgoQABiwAxjWBBhHwgINEAAYgAQYsAMYQxiKBcICBBAjGCfCAgoQIxiABBgnGIoFwgIQEC4YgAQY0QMYQxjHARiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgILEAAYgAQYsQMYgwHCAgoQABiABBhDGIoFwgINEAAYgAQYQxjJAxiKBcICEBAjGPAFGIAEGCcYyQIYigXCAg0QABiABBixAxhDGIoFwgIOEAAYgAQYsQMYgwEYigXCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCwgILEAAYgAQYkQIYigXCAgcQABiABBgNwgILEAAYgAQYhgMYigXCAgUQABjvBZgDAIgGAZAGCpIHCDQuMTkuOS4xoAes3QGyBwgwLjE5LjkuMbgH4S3CBwcwLjE3LjE2yAdjgAgA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) (quarks and leptons) which make up matter, and [bosons](https://www.google.com/search?q=bosons&sca_esv=0c0ded2c55dfde36&sxsrf=ANbL-n4mxVScMuxL0CCOIp-hRwWlU8byqQ%3A1772616828659&ei=fPynae76J465vr0P7KSCoAw&biw=1274&bih=776&ved=2ahUKEwi4qayp-IWTAxWuhq8BHdEnKKsQgK4QegYIAQgAEBA&uact=5&oq=what+is+an+elementary+particle&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiHndoYXQgaXMgYW4gZWxlbWVudGFyeSBwYXJ0aWNsZTIFEAAYgAQyBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB4yBhAAGBYYHjIGEAAYFhgeMgYQABgWGB5IyyZQ0QRY9CVwBHgBkAEBmAHcAqABzC-qAQgwLjIwLjguMrgBA8gBAPgBAZgCIaAC8y3CAgoQABiwAxjWBBhHwgINEAAYgAQYsAMYQxiKBcICBBAjGCfCAgoQIxiABBgnGIoFwgIQEC4YgAQY0QMYQxjHARiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgILEAAYgAQYsQMYgwHCAgoQABiABBhDGIoFwgINEAAYgAQYQxjJAxiKBcICEBAjGPAFGIAEGCcYyQIYigXCAg0QABiABBixAxhDGIoFwgIOEAAYgAQYsQMYgwEYigXCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCwgILEAAYgAQYkQIYigXCAgcQABiABBgNwgILEAAYgAQYhgMYigXCAgUQABjvBZgDAIgGAZAGCpIHCDQuMTkuOS4xoAes3QGyBwgwLjE5LjkuMbgH4S3CBwcwLjE3LjE2yAdjgAgA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) (gauge bosons and Higgs boson) which carry forces. Key examples include electrons, quarks, and photons.** 3. **Based on this, and my Triune of physics, I have figured out 1/3 of the mystery only. MORE PROBLEMS YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 1. **Ordinary matter (<5%), dark matter (27%), and dark energy (68%) are distinct components of the universe. Ordinary matter makes up atoms and light. Dark matter is invisible "glue" holding galaxies together via gravity, while dark energy is a repulsive force driving accelerated expansion. I FIGURED OUT 68% of the universe’s spiritual mystery today complete!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAVE AN ACTUAL METRIC OF MY PROGRESS NOW THANKS TO GODHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM 68% OF THE WAY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN JUST TWO MONTHS OR SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 4. **ERGO, REALITY IS FUNDAMENTALLY A RESULT OF MAGICAL GAY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND PROVING THAT IT IS NOT FUNDAMENTAL—YOUR CHOICES IN LIFE. IT IS YOUR FREE WILL TO CHOOSE WHATEVER YOU DO (MY PARENTS NOT LISTENING TO ME AND JEFFREY’S PARENTS NOT GIVING HIM PRIVACY). IT MAY BE FUNDAMENTAL THAT APHANTASIA AND SCHIZOPHRENIA ARE REAL INDIVISIBLE FACTS, BUT HOW MY PARENTS RAISED ME AND JEFFREY’S FAMILY’S CHOICES HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FUNDAMENTAL MUTATION.** 1. **THIS IS ALSO A POINTER TO NATURAL PERFECTION POLARITY (NOT THAT JEFFREY AND I ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER BUT THAT APHANTASIA IN GOD AND SCHIZOPHRENIA IN SATAN IS A FUNDAMENTAL ASSOCIATION).** 5. **OMG THIS GRAND EUREKA!!!!! IT IS AMAZING, BUT IT DOESN’T FEEL AS GREAT BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE I WAS JUST DEDUCING THINGS FROM THE PRINCIPLES ALREADY THERE!!!!!! SO THIS FUNDAMENTAL THINGY IS REALLY FUNDAMENTAL. A GENERAL PRINCIPLE OF REALITY.** 6. **Okay, prioritize what you wrote in Godhead page because you got tired of copy-pasting changes in here.** 5. 3/13/26 I worked out for 30 minutes in total today!!! YAY ME!!! 20 minutes in the morning on the treadmill and an additional 5:00 x 2 in between my thesis work. 6. 3/13/26 Wading into actual technical research for BOBOBEE!!! Excited and scared. If I wanted this to be a Nebula or Hugo-award winning story, I need to put in the actual work required to make it soar! 7. 3/14/26 I worked out for 17 minutes today! 8. 3/15/26 On the heels of working out for 20 minutes on the dot today! Moderately paced with high intensity at the tail end. Lovely movement. This is where I really see the huge possibilities just waiting for me, if I only locked onto my goal more clearly and inhabit the mindset of the greats! To live like one of the greats, I have to remember constantly my anchor—that is, time, and time anchored to rhythm and pacing with exercise. Discipline yourself and strive to squeeze every moment you have on Earth for excellence. You will never again procrastinate knowing that your life is all-too-precious and all too unlikely in the universe to have happened, for you to be wasting it away on nothing productive. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Now that you’ve tubil’d yourself for the day, you will accomplish so many things I guarantee it, even if it doesn’t look like much, like getting rid of some important tabs you’ve clicked on for a very good reason. I am so happy right now I could shake like a wee little leaf with its first draught of dew on its skin. 9. 3/15/26 **Project Dopamine Loading + Redeeming the Time** is coming along smoothly for about two days now! Maintain for the next 2 weeks (exercise effects noticeable after 2 weeks—your mind state at that point depends on stacked behavior in the past two weeks). 10. 3/16/26 DID A FULL HOUR’S WORTH OF WORK IN THE NICK OF TIME!!!! I AM ON FIRE!!!! One more book summary and commentary and rereading and then I’m off to completing this behemoth of a critical essay!!!! 11. 3/16/26 So I read a full 5k story from Clarkesworld in about 30 minutes! It was A.W. Prihandita’s story and it was every bit as devastating as I’d expected (I’m oddly pumped about copying some aspect of it—transplanting an essence of some sort—for BOBOBEE). 12. 3/17/26 A bit of a slowdown since I had no caffeine, but I worked out for 7 minutes!