### Dreams 🧫 1. Dreamt that Elon Musk was somehow a metaphor for how I will discover Holy Spirit automation. He used a mathematician’s logic to figure out how to work his companies (I don’t know how actually) and used it to optimize his wealth and cars (What about cars in particular, I don’t know?). Then transplanting it to my problem somehow, I have to find a mathematician to do the legwork for me to be able to optimize my Holy Spirit. 2. I also dreamt that this noblesse oblige in the movie industry scene was giving away free Kronor (money…) to people in the audience of their seminar. Kate was there for some reason. I guess if I used F/A/E, this dream was blatantly from Norr Weston since their area includes movie-making. I don’t know why it has to be movie-making, because none of my concerns are related to movie-making in particular. 3. I also dreamt of this upstarting pharmacy-basement space that was a cafeteria counter that was in the process of being converted into a pharmacy. It felt vaguely UP to me, I don’t know why. It’s like I was transported to undergraduate life in an alternate universe where I was a dormer and was surrounded by the feeling of collegial vibes and soothing mornings with fellow students who just got out of bed. ### Ruminations 🩻 1. OMG I should take pointers from my 2022 self—really recording her thoughts through the voice recorder function. I’ve taken a liking to my speaking voice—it’s certainly an acquired taste of a sort. I really had a talent of talking my ass off and still making sense. I should make vlogs or something. Recording not only my voice, but also the way I look right now so it doesn’t disturb me as much. I wonder how much fidelity and humor I’ve lost—that specificity that I can only really access through writing on paper/online right now. Now that I’m taking antipsychotics. That was 2022, way before I lost some neurons with 2023—real-world event, I guess. I have to accept that loss to be able to transcend it. ### Morning Pages ⚜️ Tangentially speaking, I am closer to meeting Vico if I suddenly decide to run for mayor when I’m 32 (a public intellectual who’s a mayor of Cagayan de Oro?! WOWZA!!!). It’s easier than becoming a well-known author, I think. Or even a news anchor. Come to think of it, we could be twins if that ends up happening to me, even if I never possessed strong leadership qualities. I’ll have to take insane quantities of Dihexa and put my body at risk to relearn Bisaya from the ground up just like I learned English—the project of a lifetime, then if I’ll be able to do that, I’ll find childbirth hilariously easy compared to the mountains I climbed getting there. I fully believe I did some magical funny business today with my thesis. That much progress in that quick of a timeline! Just 3 or so hours, imagine! I have entire dissertations’ worth of arguments in those 10 paragraphs I contributed to today. May I never get tired of doing this kind of magic…it’s magic all right! I’m not brave enough to record myself again. I miss being fluent at speaking. I feel like a mute person, only defaulting to writing because it’s all I’ve been training to do since December 2025. I have a three-month lead for writing but no practice at all with speaking, so it’s bound to be rusty tomorrow. I’ll try though, because my future depends on speaking—my first agent call, a first date and many more, a phone call with others in the team for my book, a Zoom meeting for a seminar I’ll attend online for my MSc… Priorities: - [ ] Get sunlight, drink water with a pinch of electrolytes, wait 90 minutes before first coffee, walk for 10 minutes. - [ ] Activity log: - [ ] 1 hour - Fabric of reality book + Ocean Vhuong On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous - [x] 1 hour thesis work - Critical Essay 1. Activity log: Composed a (failed) poem. 1:38PM. Well, it wasn’t a failed poem, it just didn’t work for the Word document (no way to bend words in a circular way). 1. OMG it’s 4:09PM and I’ve just managed to do the seemingly impossible task of outdoing my past self’s ability to form words in an academic way! I’m nearly done with my critical essay! I just need to read the entire first book of the Touchstone trilogy and summarize it succinctly along with some commentary on how Institutions work in that narrative (some reading of how it works again in Save the Cat!) and I’m done! Just a description then of my novel and then I’m completely done! WOOHOO!!! 2. It’s 6:09PM, and I’m seemingly undaunted by the amount of pages I have to read for the book—all 250 pages of it! I have an entire evening to apprehend this book. I calculated the time and it’s going to take me 12.5 hours just to read the entire book, never mind capturing the gist and summarizing it in collaboration with Save the Cat!’s pointers and my thesis notes. 3. At 6:57PM I decided I’m tapped out because I’m starting to experience resistance (amazing! to consider that after working hard and easy this past day—something I’ve never done before in my life I guess). I focused for 3 hours and 30 minutes. But I did a lot of work within that time! 5 large paragraphs added! I’ve never been more proud! 1. I wonder if I can focus for more than 5 hours tomorrow. Wish me luck! 3/16/26. - [ ] 1 hour - moving the needle with BOBOBEE and politics/science fiction AI tech to get one step closer to my goal of making a blip on Vico’s radar in Real World—”thinly veiled Vico Sotto fanfiction, my humble contribution to the genre” LOL you can write that on my obituary as well 1. A.W. Prihandita techniques on iPad and also her story in Uncanny for pointers on how to write the food scenes and interjections. 2. Activity log: 3. Just capitalism stuff: but to really maximize my space in Clarkesworld reader’s hearts and the awards-giving bodies, I have to make it at least 15,000 words, or a novelette. Great! More space to develop BOBOBEE. - [ ] 1-2 hours - getting rid of some tabs and putting Anki memorization cards in Brainscape 1. Activity log: able to close and take notes on some 3 YouTube videos related to learning and writing. All within 1 hour. 1. 12:08AM: Able to finish 3 more videos with notes. Progress! Despite so many more left! Maybe I’ll catch up on Wednesday. Got to get applying them in my life in the next 3 days. We measure progress day by day now. - [ ] Drawings in concert with actual story for Unreal Image using mental models and graphs that are funny (look at iPad screenshots for ideas and that Vin Diesel page and politicalcompass too). You need to beef up on illustration skills since it’s been a while when you really fashioned something out of nothing. Somehow you coming up with chapter outline stuff in collaboration with drawings similar to Diary of a Wimpy Kid is going to help heaps in your emotional attachment to this project, which for now is just a pile of fear and anxiety over being incompetent and procrastinating for this very reason. - [ ] AJ Saxsma and pen.and.polish in conjunction with your Unreal Image attempts - [ ] Once you get Mapping New Stars, find a fertile chapter you can make sense of to fit into thesis—shows commitment to working with Sydney’s ideas no matter how much people think I’m competing with her somehow (also to monitor her academic strengths to see how I can also improve my own). - [ ] Getting the sense that I should have at least a working knowledge about how this US-Israel-Iran conflict began in the first place so I have a contingency plan about how to work with Sir, I’m So Fond of You (it’s more on ideology rather than overt military brawn threat so more feminine than masculine anyway—romance angle poised to not be taken seriously by war-minded men). Maybe my book will have far-reaching consequences for war—I don’t want Philippines to be lumped into the conflict just because of something I started before we’re even ready for anything of that sort.