#### Dreams ​ Somehow “strong-arm” in my dream morphed into something related to “23” and flipped orientation like if two objects were placed side-to-side, one of them would be “strong-armed” into flipping 180° degrees by turning them. And then I dreamt of Balingasag context or gestalt and there was Laura Guinalang, Manang Lydia’s sister, or a gestalt of her. I forgot the context. I wish I remembered better. The name Laura is of Latin origin, derived from laurus (bay laurel plant), signifying "bay laurel" or "crowned with laurel". Symbolizing victory, honor, and strength in Greco-Roman times, it represents a classic, strong, and enduring feminine name. Common variants include Lauren, Lara, Lori, and Loretta. #### Sensations/Body Stuff 🫟 HUZZAH!!! I DID IT!! I controlled myself to exercise 20 minutes on the dot. At this rate, nothing can stop me!!! (But really, control yourself and be careful with caffeine). You don’t understand, this is so helpful to my sense of accomplishment, because if I could push my body to do it beyond what I think I’m capable of, I could accomplish what I set out my mind to do, even if it seems impossible! ### Random(x) 🕳️ ![[March 13, 2026-1784704933185.webp]] #### Morning Pages ​ Even if I don’t meet Vico in this life, the happiest fact of my life is already a reality—that God is real in my life so acutely! They showed up in my dreams! Imagine!! The God of the universe decided to talk to me, of all people!!! And confirmed my hunch about love on Earth as a metaphor!! Can you believe it? I can’t actually. Even now. I have to stop and realize and re-realize this fact all over again when I feel too sad about the possibility that I will never have Eros in this life, with a man I love, basically, it’s an option that doesn’t need to be a need. I already have God’s reality in my life. Even if I am not hacked, I discovered my connection that is probably 1 to billion odds with Wolfgang in the first place, all Biblical and official. God is working in my life whether or not I am on board, and believe me, I am on board, and it’s just a matter of time. Even if nobody was reading me, I’ve been performing at optimal levels after all, with some wrinkles here and now, but now I have a fuller picture of my limits and no-gos. You know, if God managed to displace Mike in my heart for someone like Vico, when I thought Mike was the love of my life, it just goes to show that God can do anything because They know best. So the same logic applies, even if Vico ends up married to someone else God will find another better-matched person for me to hyperfocus on, just like clockwork probably, when I’m really ready for a relationship (it’s all I’ve ever wanted I think, ever since I was young, and I don’t think God makes mistakes planting these desires in my heart). Although I do wish God got it right with Vico this time around, though I can’t force anything (not that I’d want to force anything). God will turn all my traumas beautiful. No guarantees, but God will make a way. My website visits wouldn’t make sense at all if I wasn’t hacked. Nothing for March, so that must mean something. On February 8, for instance, somebody visited my “About” page 10 times in total in one day, within 1 hour only. 12:00-13:00, to be precise, and they accessed my About page only, not any other page before going there. I truly believe something is up all because people from “US” are interested in my personal story? Maybe. I think February 8 was when I did something with Godhead page that was groundbreaking to them. — 3:06PM: I’m so happy I landed again by finding the Touchstone Trilogy by Andrea K. Höst almost immediately (it’s a diary format, it’s a metaphor for psychosis and neurodivergence, and it’s a Young Adult novel all in one!). What I can say of my May 2025 self, I was brilliant! Too brilliant for my own good actually, knowing what I did then, and I was able to do it with flying colors too!!! A real miracle that I am somehow tracing now to source from brilliance from God Themselves. I couldn’t have done it without my own intelligence, but it was God through-and-through. 7:56PM Enjoying my evening finally watching Wake Up Dead Man after writing 3 pages worth of my thesis today which amounts to almost 1000 words I think. I hope Vico is also enjoying his weekend starting today, Friday! Today was so productive for me it’s a miracle! And with antipsychotics in the mix too which did nothing to dampen my brain at all!