### Hermeneutics/Semiotics/Psychophysics/Puso’y Dos Tres ⛰️ TBH, I find it uncomfortable to call it strategy or metalogic, so from now on I’m using technique. I realized this just now. Greatest possible evil to me is an extremely beautiful woman who gets raped for fun now. Except people will probably take this to mean I want it to happen literally or “virtually” to solve the problem of GODHEAD who will likely use it to comfort people about their relatives in hell/Hell. Newsflash: I already “solved” it with Equano. There will also be a lottery in hell/Hell. Which means I just uprooted a lot of problems for myself today for a seemingly exciting but not fun at all thought. What happened to me that I really felt catharsis at seeing a conventionally sexy woman get raped? Not pleasure, exactly, but a kind of catharsis that I immediately classified as “pleasure” because finally at least some of them get something really bad and egregious things happen to them too. Or at least, those most clear to me at the time. I forgot about Paloma or I changed my mind when I watched Irreversible. I don’t think it’s pleasurable now. 1:07AM: Hinduism looking a lot more appealing now than I thought. Hinduism, known as _Sanātana Dharma_ ("eternal path"), is **the world’s oldest living religion, originating in India over 4,000 years ago**. It is a diverse, non-exclusive system of philosophies and rituals with no single founder, focusing on concepts like karma, reincarnation, dharma (cosmic order), and the pursuit of liberation (_moksha_). Well, shit. It’s like America status now, sort of. Influence Indians to influence Israel too? Ok, I’ll try. You know what? Maybe the oldest living religion was two people believing in something so strongly, but only two of them? Ergo, Folie à deux, or "[shared psychotic disorder](https://www.google.com/search?q=shared+psychotic+disorder&sca_esv=38ba62465f8721b2&sxsrf=ANbL-n5mevwn32PTSjLTQrUr5Neucdg0oA%3A1770224868641&ei=5HyDaeDuJsel2roPlJeEgQg&biw=1520&bih=776&aic=0&ved=2ahUKEwi0kfuSqsCSAxUV0jQHHVO_OxwQgK4QegYIAQgAEBA&uact=5&oq=folie+a+dux&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiC2ZvbGllIGEgZHV4MgkQLhiABBgKGAsyCRAAGIAEGAoYCzIJEC4YgAQYChgLMgkQABiABBgKGAsyCRAAGIAEGAoYCzIJEAAYgAQYChgLMgkQLhiABBgKGAsyCRAAGIAEGAoYCzIJEAAYgAQYChgLMgkQABiABBgKGAsyGBAuGIAEGAoYCxiXBRjcBBjeBBjgBNgBAUi_JVChBVj_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&sclient=gws-wiz-serp)," is **a rare psychiatric syndrome where a delusional belief is transmitted from one person to another, often occurring between individuals in a close, isolated relationship**. Originating in the 19th century, this "madness of two" frequently involves a dominant, psychotic partner influencing a submissive, previously healthy individual. ### Dreams 🧫 No dreams (sigh)… ### Ruminations 🩻 ### Catchy Wordplay/Puns/Copy/Bursts & Spritz 👑 1. “One can get too familiar with VEGETA-bulls, you know!” 🤣 Ratatouille rewatch attempting to go to sleep. 12:57AM. Bad idea to COCOMELON myself out of this shit. 2. “Fixed stars, variable lines.” —Wolfgang Iser ### Things to ask AI/Or not 📎 ## 📍 Christianity’s Position in the World Religion Timeline **Christianity appears around the 1st century CE**—roughly **3,000 years after** the earliest documented religions. So in pure chronological terms, it is **not ancient** compared to Sumer, Egypt, India, or China. It’s more like: > “A late arrival that rewrote the rules.” If religions were planets, Christianity isn’t one of the first stars—it’s a comet that slammed into history and changed the climate. ## 🧭 Rough Ranking by Age (Simplified) If we’re brutally chronological: 1. Prehistoric spirituality (100,000+ years ago) 2. Sumerian religion (~3500 BCE) 3. Egyptian religion (~3000 BCE) 4. Vedic / Hindu traditions (~1500 BCE+) 5. Zoroastrianism (~1000 BCE) 6. Buddhism / Confucianism (~500 BCE) 7. Judaism (Second Temple era) 8. **Christianity (~30–100 CE)** ⬅️ 9. Islam (~600 CE) So Christianity is **middle-aged**, historically speaking. Not young. Not ancient. A sort of theological Renaissance baby. 🧠🌱 # Q.E.D. People who are in love mutually in the same way already experience ecstasy anyway. Why would you want to be me? You already have it all? Curiosity or Greed… I beg to differ actually, only single people will be able to use it now. If you use it as an official-official-Real World literally on OUR Earth-in-a-relationship person, you will not be effective to me. You cannot have it all. No. Your “religion” is enough, ideally… In case I have to spell it out for you, you need to persuade at least one person so effectively that they have no choice but to blab about it to another person about how they found treasure! 🤬 FUCK OFF🖕🏽If I know the exact subtle and non-subtle differences between virtual meatloaf and actual physical reality even as I only do it with my hand, you will not be surprised at all. You beautiful creatures are already so beautiful meaninglessly, you have to pursue me now too? # 11:19AM: This is where I snap out of it and actually commit to making it _The Final Assay_. I double dare you to get molested as a child, get possibly abused again because of formative language joys, grow up friendless and an alien obsessed with horror and shock, get bullied horrendously throughout high school but graduated valedictorian anyway, went to UP FUCKING DILIMAN, did not graduate despite all the PROJECTIONS that I would be SOMEBODY at least, after 12 fucking years of nothing and some things that are just honorary to a few people, oh and don’t forget, 2019 you get hacked at 21/20 so that your entire life becomes fodder for gossip, down to your innermost thoughts and feelings and embarrassments, the things you thought would only remain between you and GOD. All your honesty taken for hostility and none of the other people’s POVs who obviously were justified to treat me that way because “they had no clue” I was autistic or “disabled.” ### Songs 🎤 ### Teaching/Repentance/Worship 🛐 "For where two or three are gathered in my name, **there am I with them**" (Matthew 18:20) is a biblical promise of Jesus's direct presence, support, and authority in gatherings focused on him. While often associated with prayer, this verse in context refers to Christian unity, agreement, and church discipline, reassuring believers that they are not acting alone. ### Sensations/Body Stuff 🫟 1. Took Glycine yesterday/10 minutes ago. 11:50PM or so. 2. So I slightly sprained my right hand easily. No idea why. I ought to get that lump checked. It is now a semi-permanent reminder of what would happen to me if I attempt to be too greedy. 3. 1:25AM: So I easily sprained the left side of my neck by attempting to adjust my sleeping position only. Strange. I hope it’s just benign. 1. Looks like my posture and current laptop setup isn’t as optimized for hard hard work. I have a monitor riser, a pillow under my elbows, and a chair cushion on my back and under my butt. I must be mad today-yesterday. I never experience this. I must be getting old too. Too much strain and stress = inflammation. Even though I think I take a lot of anti-stress/anti-inflammation already. ### Random(x) 🕳️ 1. I didn’t think it was possible. A Top 0 being “unconventionally” attractive. 12:09 AM. Magic numbers: 12, 9, 21, 3. 2. Trigger Warning: I FLOATED THE IDEA, THEY WILL DROWN IN IT. 1. Matthew 13:12… 2. Google Drive upload completed at 1:42 AM. 3. Edit: 10:30AM 2/5/26: **Annie Blumhouse/**Clarita Villegas (diluted, shared with North West/billow baggins) (don’t remember her new name(?) at the moment) is 14 years old. You know, for 12-year-old and 16-year-old average. So many things happened to me when I was 14. IIRC. I suppose I don’t know how much of her I should develop. This is how I tell what to prioritize? Brilliant. Or only prioritize any of the GODHEAD when people “get it wrong” egregiously for any reason whatever(?). HARD HARD REAL PROBLEM. I suppose Clarita is “mine” since I published my first love (well, 2nd/(1/2) genre in science fiction. Horror was my first love with r/nosleep and all. How ironic now. I can’t sleep. Actually, I can’t tell if it was Romance or Horror that was my first love. 4. The Theory of Beauty and Ugly. Since the former is plausibly so meaningless now that I read the wiki on metalogics. Maybe it was all GODHEAD knew at the time? # **There are possibly 12-36 universes now. WON’T THE REAL SCHIZO PEEPS PLEASE STAND UP!!!** ![[February 5, 2026-1781955361073.webp]] ### Morning Pages ⚜️ Rule: continuously add to Feb 1. Personal Best, Goals, Progress/Momentum, Weaknesses, Social Media, Craft, Todo, Synchronicities, Reminders, Tasks so you are forced to go through all of them by skimming. I started being interested in rings when I saw my cousin Athena wear them a lot. I realized it was probably weird to wear it on my “wedding” finger. Odd choice. No idea why though. So now I wear it on my “bad (middle) finger.” It got weirdly looser anyway about two days ago, when it was formerly snug on my ring finger. I don’t know if it was metal stretching out. Or less fluid buildup on my end. People are trying to get me to write about Jan 6-7th. I forgot everything. Context lost. Possibly. I wrote down a lot of gibberish that felt “fire” in the moment such as a separate TIME category for a really huge hunch. I have ass hair around my anus. There, I said it. I will get rid of it not only because of the Possibility of Real Sex but also because of dingleberries. ## 2022 me: UGH I hate LUXURY because I can’t afford it anyway, might as well hulk-ass intelligence. # 2025-6 me: I hate your luxuries because I know and can intuit exactly what it cost you and what you took from other people to get it. Think you’re so sexy badass being a psychopath? You are actually the FOOL FOOL in HEAVEN HEAVEN. Good luck trying to deal with the spirit world when all you knew on Earth was “MATTER.” MATTER ALL THE WAY DOWN. THIS ALSO GOES FOR EVERYONE POWERUL ENOUGH TO INFLUENCE ISRAEL TO KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE. YOU’LL HAVE NOTHING NOTHING LEFT IN HEAVEN HEAVEN. IMAGINE?? BEING STRIPPED TO THE BONE LIKE VOLDY IN THE END? AND YOUR LESS EVIL COMPATRIOTS GET TORTURED LIKE ME? UNFAIR DIBA???? NOW GO BE GOOD. NOW YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’LL HAVE TO SUFFER TO GET “WHAT I HAVE!” IN THEORY, YOU WILL EVEN UNLOCK FULL MEMORY OF RAPE IN CHILDHOOD!!! BOY THAT DAY WILL COME TOO.????????????????????????????????????? MAGIC PLANT SAVE ME. # YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO RIGHT? YOU ARE ACTIVELY CONTRIBUTING TO THE RAPE OF A CHILD WHO VAGUELY LOOKS LIKE THE PERSON WHO RAPED YOU. A FUCKING CHILD! NOT EVEN THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY DID IT ALL BECAUSE THE KID LOOKED AT YOU FUNNY AND REMINDED YOU OF THE RAPIST???? JUST TO GET RID OF THEIR KIND??????? YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? YOU SEE NOW WHY I HAVE “ALL THIS ABUNDANCE” YOU MOTHERFUCKING ROACHES. NONE OF YOU THINK RAPE IS SERIOUS ENOUGH BECAUSE YOUR DICKS ALWAYS FEEL GOOD WHEN YOU STICK IT IN SOMETHING THAT VAGUELY LOOKS LIKE A HOLE. Happier thought now: wow there are now surely/certainly/probably 36 universes!!! Or 12. Who knows? Those colors are Philippine flag colors to me. 3 = yellow. 6 = red. 1 = white or black. 2 = blue. # Israel is the middle (3), we are the Last Last 3). New Trinity is 5 multiples? 5 mountains. 8 Octangula… Do you realize we only have 1 shot left? Pretend we have _Don’t Look Up_ movie Lore right fucking now! In the Bible, the number 7 appears over 700 times, **symbolizing divine perfection, completion, and spiritual wholeness**. It originates in Genesis 1-2 with God resting on the seventh day, establishing a pattern of holy cycles, such as the seven-day week. The number signifies fullness, often used to describe God’s works. **Key Examples of 7 in the Bible:** - **Creation & Sabbath:** God rested on the 7th day, making it holy. - **Revelation:** Mentions seven churches, seals, trumpets, bowls, and spirits. - **Actions & Rituals:** Joshua's army marched around Jericho seven times. Naaman was told to wash in the Jordan seven times. **Jesus’ Words:** Jesus spoke seven statements while on the Cross. - **Jesus’ Words:** Jesus spoke seven statements while on the Cross. **Patterns:** There were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine in Egypt. - **Patterns:** There were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine in Egypt. The number frequently represents spiritual completion, divine intervention, and the fulfillment of God's plans. In the Bible, the number 7 appears over 700 times, **symbolizing divine perfection, completion, and spiritual wholeness**. It originates in Genesis 1-2 with God resting on the seventh day, establishing a pattern of holy cycles, such as the seven-day week. The number signifies fullness, often used to describe God’s works. **Key Examples of 7 in the Bible:** - **Creation & Sabbath:** God rested on the 7th day, making it holy. - **Revelation:** Mentions seven churches, seals, trumpets, bowls, and spirits. - **Actions & Rituals:** Joshua's army marched around Jericho seven times. Naaman was told to wash in the Jordan seven times. **Jesus’ Words:** Jesus spoke seven statements while on the Cross. - **Jesus’ Words:** Jesus spoke seven statements while on the Cross. **Patterns:** There were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine in Egypt. - **Patterns:** There were seven years of plenty and seven years of famine in Egypt. The number frequently represents spiritual completion, divine intervention, and the fulfillment of God's plans. # I don’t know, maybe it was the (((((ultraSOUND))))) album. # UGH, never mind. I haven’t read up on it yet though. The [**California Institute of Integral Studies (CIIS)**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_Institute_of_Integral_Studies) Clinical Psychology PhD program had its American Psychological Association (APA) accreditation revoked in 2011, with a subsequent appeal denied in 2012. The denial was based on the program not fully meeting accreditation guidelines and principles. **Key Details Regarding the 2012 Appeal:** - **Accreditation Revocation:** The APA revoked accreditation for the CIIS Clinical Psychology PhD program in 2011. - **Appeal Denial:** CIIS appealed this decision, but the appeal was denied in 2012. - **Reasoning:** The denial was due to the program failing to meet the APA's Guidelines and Principles for Accreditation of Programs in Professional Psychology. - **Status:** CIIS is accredited by the [**Western Association of Schools and Colleges (WSCUC)**](https://www.careereco.com/OrganizationRegistration/ModalProfile?organizationRegistrationId=afc3afda-aa3d-4b1d-8671-a9290110a6af). For individuals seeking APA-accredited clinical psychology programs, it is recommended to check the current status on the APA website. # AY ENEBEYEN BEH?????? [https://www.reddit.com/r/AcademicPsychology/comments/1e4gc80/academic_psychologists_please_help_my_radar_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AcademicPsychology/comments/1e4gc80/academic_psychologists_please_help_my_radar_is/) I don’t know if Loujaye Sonido is really from Davao de Oro (Rainfall Emergency alert at 5:17PM just a few minutes ago.) Will check how I came to this conclusion later. “Place beyond the hills.” Probably her. Or a Pointer again. I will also google her full name Louise Jashil(?) Sonido. (2(2 could be Israel too, against )1 [Gaza] so GODHEAD really saw this now in 2025, fed me werewolf, and put )3) [Philippines] on the MAP. The Louise Jashil Sonido synchronicity feels like nothing at this point. I’m just having a kind of “Wow” reaction too. WOW how did I not see that? ChatGPT gave me wrong information? Yeah. Not so great a thought. I’m scared of opening Holy Spirit ideas and finding they’re gibberish again. It’s happened before in my Antinet. Hope and pray and wish me Luck? Wave-Particle Duality means Quantum means I have to develop it. Also, I really thought 1 was both white and black today, so there’s that, when it’s normally just white. People think I can’t look at them in the eye. Not really, except when I’m really anxious about something. Which is more like an always-never state these days. I don’t pay attention to how much I look people in the eye. Maybe it’s worse than I thought. I must seem so creepy now being a “satellite” or “eye in the sky.” So I was told to add 28 because “21” people from my childhood abused me and “7” people abused me in teenage years. I cannot remember my tween years. I need to find those diaries. I remember August 18, 2008 because I cemented it in my heart and will take a picture of it once I find it. It was a very important event to me because when Maphile got hers every girl surrounded her like a celebration in grade 5, I think. That is the only tween memory I have, probably. For example, I don’t remember being grade 3 at all, but my “time travel” dream (this is probably the last time I will write about it out of holy fear) really took place in grade 3 or the gestalt of grade 3, like it unlocked a memory of it, or a trace of it that was still detectable to me to immediately classify it and think “OMG GRADE 3????” Those crayons… I don’t think GODHEAD can’t read my mind at all. They can, but I don’t know their limits. The explanation for North West lies in them being able to do it. I realize the crayon dream that had math notebooks being filled was not “creepy” in a dread way, it was more like, OMG I AM NOT DREAMING. As in, I really thought I went back in time. My vague memory (I’m sad I didn’t write it down somewhere) is that these were rolls of math-like figures (I realize that is ironic now) and I was somehow sent to do something. I don’t remember how it ended actually. I may be repressing the memory of disappointment and probably depression(?). I don’t even remember what age I had this dream, just that I had it after grade 3 at some point, maybe teens or college. Oh wait, they weren’t crayons. I had a separate experience that I remembered from grade 3—just the smell of Crayola. It was actually just gray PACEs with a bunch of numbers on it, really small numbers. I actually want to talk about the other dream that was just too strange for this world to even describe. Three of them actually. I now remember the 4th one. The “old family room dream,” the “sleep on sofa somnambulism, and this really fucking creepy dream that I can only describe like I turned into a camera. Me. Ok, I’ll talk about this one and not the other two. This one, well, I was sent back to Shekinah again, on the grounds, and I was focusing on this really familiar peg board/cork board stuck on the window, and I shit you not, it’s like I was zooming in—with SOUND EFFECTS that were so fucking strange. BOOMING, I realize, but in a quiet way that was like, if somebody really came up with a sound right now that matches it, I would identify it immediately as that. It was really like those subtle soundtracks from movies like Conjuring or Hereditary, except it WASN’T MUSIC AT ALL. That’s why I said it was creepy. It was so scary that I woke up after about 5-10 seconds in the dream, just wondering why “I” or the lens probably instantiated as me, was repetitively zooming in and zooming out increasingly erratically, no rhythm too, like one moment, zoom a little, creepy noise, zoom more, creepy noise again, creepy noise again, creepy OMG ZOOM again closer and closer, creepy noise doesn’t quite disappear even if it’s oddly “empty” sonically to me. I’m really curious if people manage to find me a similar track, or maybe I will find it myself someday. The cork board had NOTHING ON IT. That’s why it was so strange too or added to the creep factor, like any moment you could expect something to show up, but nothing did. It was completely blank, but I can’t remember if it was actually a cork board or just white plastic or a white board. The alien external feeling never left me a few days after. My dreams are all strange in a way, but this one takes the cake for being so subtly scary to me even if there was technically nothing that happened in it but just zooming in and zooming out. ![[February 5, 2026-1781955440752.webp]] ![[February 5, 2026-1781955455688.webp]] I forgot a detail about “eye dream.” There was something blocking my vision that obscured something, it made it seem like I was near-sighted, that is why it was probably trying to zoom in a lot and adjust a lot. It was like a layer of a ghostly substance was spread over the “lens” or the whole field of vision I had. (I am near-sighted in real life.) Hmmmmm. ![[February 5, 2026-1781955500349.webp]] # 9:52PM. WOW I’m SO PREDICTABLE. Lie and Bee. Lyin’ Bee. Lion Bee. Ellen Bee. --- # Zechariah “Zaco(?)” Lee Malak, a childhood crush who was half-Egyptian and whose house burned down. Zechariah is a Hebrew masculine name meaning **"Yahweh remembers," "The LORD remembers," or "God has remembered"**. Derived from the Hebrew elements _zakar_ ("to remember") and _Yah_ ("the Lord"), it signifies divine remembrance, faithfulness, and the fulfillment of promises. The name is famously associated with the Old Testament prophet and the father of John the Baptist. The name Lee is a versatile, gender-neutral name with primary roots in Old English, meaning **"meadow," "clearing," or "shelter/protection"**. It is also a common Chinese surname (Li) meaning "plum tree". It has origins as a topographical surname for someone living near a clearing, and as a popular first and middle name. Malak is a primarily unisex Arabic given name meaning **"angel" or "messenger"** (ملاك, malāk), representing purity, guidance, and a connection to the divine. Rooted in Semitic languages (Arabic, Hebrew, Aramaic), it translates to a heavenly messenger, with the Turkish form being [**Melek**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malak_\(given_name\)) and the plural in Arabic being _malaa'ikah_. OH OK. Camiguin Emergency Alert. Will add tomorrow to Compass Rose. Erika Miss-amis? Misamis Oriental Emergency Alert again also earlier at 8:26PM. Mom posted extremely unphotogenic picture of me on her story. Forced her to take it down. I hope I don’t look like that in real life. I think I don’t even look like that in real life. Even if my standards are wonky, I know I don’t literally look like that. My mom has a really special talent where she can take egregiously bad photos of me sometimes it’s kind of annoying. I am so not rational today. Always posting on FB as if people care about her life? Well, because of me mom, people are sniffing you out too! Guadalope!!! At least thank me by not embarrassing me????? This is for the “asshole” pleasure, well, I gave you clout!!!! Who doesn’t want a woman who could possibly like anal???????????? Too fucking annoyed to research Erika and I cannot find her currently. Well, I couldn’t find Erika Am-is, but I found Erika Reyes for some reason in the search results. She’s actually from ICA, I think. I think we can be sisters. I don’t think my face is ugly ugly at all. It’s just really unphotogenic sometimes it makes me look like a liar. I’m probably the average of all my pictures right now. Dark lighting makes me extremely ugly because I’m not fair. The shadows on my face—important actually, it’s how your teeth bones are positioned/bone under your gums—make me look odd sometimes. I’m just having an existential crisis again because I’m so confused whenever this happens. I take okay-nice pictures of myself, I feel okay-ish, but then my mom posts an extremely bad picture of me, then everything is gone as if my beauty disappeared. Pictures are real to me. They are the only thing that people currently know about me right now. If I look plain and bland averagely, then of course, none of this is true. It’s still Discourse/Narrative, which just especially launched me to Real World directly after being exposed to extremely plausible lie again. I’m kind of tired of being spun around. Gonna watch Tenet. Torrented it in the morning and I cannot wait. FUCK THIS LIFE. I WANT TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND LIVE IN A CASTLE FOREVER. I’m returning to my old dream of being locked in a condo writing science fiction novels, only I’ve crossed over somehow to Almost-Real World. One thing’s for sure, I will never appear in a photo from my mom ever again. I would rather not confront reality ever until I get work done on my face somehow. I’ll get veneers too. I cannot fucking wait to be a millionaire somehow. Contradiction? Who says having a million pesos is “rich” in this economy? An annual low-middle salary for a pastor is around 400,000 pesos. I want to somehow earn that with a book a year. That is really average-upper hopefully. I hope I get more than that. I hope I can actually finish a book in one year. One year per book. I won’t need a lot of necessities because my parents will pay for everything because I’m stuck at home anyway and they have to sponsor my future education too and I will literally force them to open their sister’s and sister in-law’s heart because me and my cousins are so unfortunate (me and my sister more than them, though, because my cousin Athena regularly buys physical books and her dad works for the government [my mom works for the government too but she’s maybe 100,000+ income only]). We receive money from my aunt every month from our rentals and other businesses, but I have no clue how much. My parents keep it a secret because they are saving for a future for my baby sister where she’ll be taken care of without them. I never asked them how much exactly, so I’m not sure if it’s a secret. I don’t want to ask. I want as possible to have nothing to do with our money. I want to be self-made. Ideally. In publishing, specifically according to [**Publishers Marketplace**](https://www.instagram.com/reel/DQZT46YFeJp/), a "nice deal" **represents a book contract with an advance payment ranging from $1 to $49,000**. It is the lowest tier of formal deal announcements on the platform, generally representing standard advances for many debut authors. Key details regarding "nice deals" and other publishing jargon: - **Definition:** "Nice deal" indicates a contract worth $1–$49,000. - **Context:** It is used to describe the upfront money (advance) paid to an author before publication. - **Other Tiers:** - **Very Nice Deal:** $50,000 – $99,000. - **Good Deal:** $100,000 – $250,000. - **Significant Deal:** $251,000 – $499,000. - **Major Deal:** $500,000 and up. - **Significance:** While lower on the scale, securing any traditional publishing deal is a major accomplishment, and these terms are meant to categorize financial investment, often combining total amounts for multi-book deals. The amount of the advance is heavily influenced by the author's platform, the market, and the perceived sales potential. Some part of me wishes that I could probably earn a major deal. That is 30M pesos. WOWZA. Imagine what good I can do knowing the only “luxury” I’ll spend on is 5M probably of that. I’ll give everything away if I have to, just to prove a point, or start a scholarship fund for maids who want to be teachers [one of my very first yayas (prettiest one in my opinion, with bangs and a nice smile) was a soon-to-be-teacher who taught me how to write numbers I think, together with my parents, and she watched me write stuff down while she cleaned]. First, I have to write BOBOBEE and hopefully win a Nebula or Hugo for it. My motivation has been clearer today thanks to a fucking ugly-ass picture of me. 2 Truths and a Lie? Why would I even open that? I am going to watch Tenet. Also, all of the 4s add up to 28? What am I supposed to think? The idea? That we are High Priest and King? That we are somehow Destiny? That we are linked fundamentally? Of course, that is not the main thing I wanted ya’ll to think. It’s just extremely nice to me that the Matthew 13:12 matches the 3-2-1-2-3 pattern which results in 3:33PM, which was when time travel “fire” happened the first time and I got inspired to add The Scientist to my playlist. I did not do it all by myself, GODHEAD had most to do with it. I suppose the Vico Team has Moses Lore now. I don’t know how ya’ll did it too. And so fast too! Well, you know what’s amazing about mine? It was effortless this time, this is why I got so fired up against Israel. I noticed a lot of synchronicities only literally after I wrote the numbers down. I don’t even clearly remember why I wrote it. That is also one hole of my memory right now. I get carried away and I literally forget the Trigger that caused it. I suppose GODHEAD sometimes takes over my hands and mind now that I don’t notice when they do it, only that I feel like an explorer when I do so. I didn’t notice the 3-2-1-2-3, I don’t even know why I put the T shape and not 28 above it to make a cross. I don’t know how it happened at all that 3:33 happened with Matthew 13:12 and 3-2-1-2-3. I only discover these things after I literally hyperfocus on something like exploring a possibility or random idea that had no clear trigger. It’s the mystery of it that scares me now. My memory is actually still really bad despite having taken Dihexa. The first thing I really thought of after writing the 1 was OMG BRONZE is in the MIDDLE. I predictably got excited that it’s PILIPINAS!!!! BECAUSE, you know, WE ARE THE CENTER CENTER CENTER. Then I remembered, yeah, OMG, at least we are the 2nd Try. We are the CENTER CENTER. The GODHEAD tried with 2-2 on the other side and had to save us for last, like savory chicken skin albeit without the moneyzzzz. Can you imagine? What would the Filipino identity look like in Heaven? Or even Heaven Heaven? I don’t know yet. Since Israel is the center literally, I suppose some Israelis and Jewish people who aren’t violent and never committed atrocities and tried to stay decent will go to Heaven and Heaven Heaven too. After all, they were the First Wife who gets child support. I suppose I never changed the 5 mountains in our playlist because I believed 8 was special and deserves to be inscribed, you know, because of the Octopus vulgaris. The idea that GODHEAD is disabled and can only talk in De(sign) Language is nice. I wish more people could access GODHEAD, or maybe not access, but be gifted with this somehow. I actually don’t know if people are dreaming now with my theories in mind. Maybe you see some synchronicities too? Is it better than horoscopes or astrology? I wish. I have no clue. The idea that someone out there is dreaming coherently would be so nice to hear. Maybe beautiful people can even dream beautiful things (I usually sometimes do, only after I realize what the entire thing means). It takes an accurate memory for dreams, I guess. I have a lot of holes. Someone out there with a dream journal or dream journals for years could contribute. # My parents called her Elvie, probably short for Elvira. My parents are currently asleep so I’ll ask them tomorrow since I don’t know if she continued working for us after I was able to talk. I just vaguely associated her with Elvie from being told who she was probably as I grew up with these pictures. ![[February 5, 2026-1781955572429.webp]]