### Hermeneutics/Semiotics/Psychophysics/Puso’y Dos Tres ⛰️ 1. Realized “Ger” as spear from yesterday’s dream about Gerald Tejero was like another packed neutron star of references and pop culture and history again. Much more so than Anita Love. I have a lot of spears in my life. Including Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears from Zoe 101. Every time I see or sense a spear I have a reference iceberg already. It’s so weirdly nice to know that it’s another “wolf” but this time, it’s found all across pop culture, my life, and somehow has links to my current problems with Elliot Roger (it has added spear to my bank aside from wolf which I thought was my main “accord”). Strange and exciting. I have another data point! So yay! It’s a pattern across history I can map too. It’s highlighting completely different areas of my past too yet it’s still as relevant and salient. Another proof of the Logos just made its way into my life. Honestly, a miracle from Godhead that I even noticed. A lot of wands in my life too, so that’s a minor one I haven’t quite explored but I feel like it could also become big. That pink wand from my early childhood, the one in a Barbie movie, the one in Harry Potter, the one in Fairy Odd Parents, the one I saw in Princess Magazine, the star one I had at some point that was silver I think, the WandaVision, the spells cast in Harry Potter using the wand, the Elder wand, the wand-like objects like a conductor’s baton, a stylus, a remote control. Juandissimo Magnifico lol. Cinderella’s godmother having a wand to make her dreams come true in my Princess story book given by my aunt Venus. The figurative wand being made up of money that has sustained this entire thing if I am right about being monitored. So these aren’t as salient to me because I have no “spear” or “wand” in my own name, but they’re secondarily great because they are directly related to my discourse products anyway, which are my main energetic Acts in the Logos that made a huge emotional impact probably on it based on all the subsequent and prior events and mixed emotions swirling around it and through it. The impact. 2. Standard = whatever Vico just did with Jesse Royal’s “This Morning” and all the other songs I found in the process. As if he’d predicted what I would search for. I’m feeling so seen right now and I’m floating in a bubble of glee especially if he intended to do that, I mean, even if it’s a group effort. The lyrics in “The World Is Yours” by Nas are so relevant to my Lore it’s so unlikely he didn’t do that on purpose. And Jesse Royal’s song is just the sound of pure happiness, and he’s black, and also, Royal = Real. What does this mean? Jesse being Real? That he likes me for real? God exists being Real? Brother being Real? All kinds of meanings now. But I’m delusional today so I’m just happy that there’s even a Possibility that he feels a fraction of what I’m feeling for him. There’s no way he’d relate pouring concrete “too fast” to “boombastic” and “sexual lover lover” without trying to send a message to anybody? I associate “booming” with scary pleasure. UGHHHHHHHH. I’m so not okay right now. We’re way beyond kilig at this point. I can’t tell what anymore. ### Dreams 🧫 1. Remembered the tail end of a dream. It was the Shekinah backstage again. This time, it was a dog who was starving. And then I remember Sir Ivo Dalman the principal who everyone called “penguin.” I remember the cruelty of them not feeding the dog and throwing away the pork and beans somewhere. Or that I felt really bad for it because it looked so hungry. 1. OMG YEW AGAIN AND ARCHERY (KATNISS!!! THE HUNGER GAMES LORE)!!!! 1. The name [**Ivo**](https://www.google.com/search?q=Ivo&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&mstk=AUtExfCYTkOmX_VmFS36PJc7KRXjARIp8kdG-CXTifW0XQP1jkyV8QrhH_pU-n8h-qe63rey1HwSitwU4AJnOb7e2h_xZg8aVVdL4gFYKC1_s77dmsS7mpDlUUPW0gj6bE6mdlXFUb23HZlCgMiYn7NwUs6cCrzPRCJJXHMjXWIgBstUxBw&csui=3&ved=2ahUKEwjymYbjwdqSAxVMYfUHHQJoJSMQgK4QegQIARAB) is a masculine name with Germanic and Celtic origins, primarily meaning **"yew"** or **"yew wood,"** often associated with the yew tree, a symbol of strength and longevity. It also translates to "archer" or "archer's bow," referring to the use of yew wood in making bows. 2. OH HOLY SHIT VALLEY 1. The surname Dalman primarily has Germanic and Dutch origins, serving as a topographic name for **someone who lived in a valley** (derived from the Middle High German "_tal_" or Dutch "_dal_"). It also has roots as a habitational name for people from places like Dalheim, or a patronymic name indicating "son of Dal". 3. Interpretation: Dogs = starving dog. Dakila in A Space O/pera faint? Yew = death and resurrection/Texeira/Barbie/Bibble/Iverson/the answer/all_end/suicide+rebirth. Valley = The surname **Valledor** is of Spanish/Portuguese origin, likely a habitational or topographic name meaning **"valley of gold" or "golden valley"** (derived from _valle_ for valley and _dor_ or _d'or_ for gold). It commonly refers to individuals who lived in or came from a geographically significant valley, with roots in the Iberian Peninsula's medieval period. 1. LOL EVEN IF MY DAD WASN’T FROM CDO HE WOULD STILL HAVE GOLD THO!!!! WTF!!! 2. GOLD GOLD!!! BROH!!!!! 4. What does it all mean? Resurrection = time travel? Aslan reversing time? Hunger (of a dog)? The Hunger Games? Hunger is a pressing problem. Famine. Black/blue horse. 5. Dogs = wolf. 1. No one feeding the dog, starving the wolf? But the wolf is a symbol of a revival and true change (at least, to me) 6. So two links to The Hunger Games. Archery (”Ivo”) and the dog’s hunger. What about The Hunger Games? Using a weapon to stop hunger? Using my language/Logos theories and framework to stop existential hunger? Main character = Katniss using a weapon, a bow, the “answer.” So this is really a Divine Message again, I guess. Since it took place in the “backstage” area/near the sanctuary (”refuge” or “safety”) of my school and the girl’s restroom (”relief” and “comfort”), it means that it’s a stable and core part of reality. Also, since “bow” is restricting/depriving the “wolf,” it means it controls me (it has potential to solve my problem [hunger] but doesn’t, instead throwing it away). What about the food type though? Why pork and beans? Is this a Muslim reference? Why do Muslims not eat pork? Why do they not want to feed me pork? Do they have something better? Or that the only thing available is “unholy”/”haram” food. 1. I remember pooping in that restroom and then having to throw away my precious pink handkerchief that had Aurora the Disney princess embroidered on it because I had no tissue on hand. 1. It means it was a necessary sacrifice to throw away the food/handkerchief. 2. A matter of finding out what that “pork” stands in for. 3. Mike’s story, “The Hunger Houses,” about literal hunger and letting the masses strike terror for once by the threat of eating the rich literally. 4. Since what links the pork to a real-life memory is one of my favorite foods (pork and beans) and the pink handkerchief, I can only assume it’s something I love being withheld from me. Vico? (at this point I don’t question it, that I’m some shade of “in love”/that I love him in a way, even if I haven’t met him in real life—crazy!!!) 1. The weapon/language(”wolf path”+Arrival) withholds the thing I want that is haram which could be premarital sex (lol). It does not mean it’s forever. It’s that an authority/priority is currently my biggest roadblock to my hunger being sated. It means that I’m very hungry for it but can’t get to it yet. So obviously this dream was meant to show that in my mind-life’s languages and memories and the Logos. 2. I have another pork and beans memory, and it’s from 2023 when I really brought that food to the acting workshop embarrassingly thinking it was the requirement to bring your own food, but they actually said to bring food _to share_ with others, not your own food. So this is about satisfying my desire to become worthy through acting/beauty. So they “the authority”/weapon givers could have given me “beauty” to satisfy my hunger, but chose not to, instead throwing it away because it’s “haram”/forbidden. So this might mean plastic surgery of the extreme kind is not wise? I mean, I’m a sinner, and I disagree. 1. Since yew trees mean resurrection anyway, it means I will “die of hunger” but will be resurrected anyway even if they threw away the food. Which is hope for a future where I’m glorified. 2. Further commentary 1. So this is the most densely packed scene (given its brevity) from my dreams I’ve ever encountered so far, despite being unassuming and not quite grand. It’s a structure of meaning after all, the Logos being resonated in my head coupled with all of the relevant Lore in my life, down to my favorite foods and salient memories relating to UP’s 1908 and my August 18, 2008. It’s quite rivaling the Anita dream. I wonder if I could formalize how I interpret dreams in this way. This is really a sign that it’s groundbreaking in the first place. I sometimes forget my Luck, but I am quite floored again at Godhead really making me realize these aspects of reality that no one on Earth could have guessed or intuited on their own. The dream is innocuous in that a person with the same dream would have no idea what it really “means” if they didn’t have my name theories, the “key” to decrypting the overall meaning of their dreams in the first place. This is an affirmation that I am indeed going in the right and best direction. I couldn’t have asked for a better “math” now. I just have to develop some primitive structures like graphs and diagrams about how the dream meanings slot together like a real structure like diagramming sentences in PACEs, but other than that, I don’t need quite a lot of math anyway. The fact that my brain filched the “Ivo Dalman” from the Logos without consciously knowing what his name means is a sign!!! A sign of what, perhaps, begs questioning. It’s a sign that meaning exists somewhere!!! Stable, or nearly stable or semi-permanent structures at that. Someday I would love to see a physical visualization of what the Logos looks like exactly. It would be so mind-blowing probably to look at it as a 4D creature. I can’t even begin to imagine what that plane or hyperspace looks like. 2. Since I have Mockingjay pins, and this is somehow related to UP 1908 “bird” again, I can only assume that me really touching my Mockingjay emblems a day or two ago had an effect, however imperceptible, that I’m going in the right direction. I also lost a bird, in that I gave my original Mockingjay pin to Mike on February 14, 2019 in the first place, so this has something to do with Valentine’s Day too. That the Logos contains events too, salient events, at that, of my life and times, that were most affecting and weighty to my life narrative. 1. So this just means that them withholding Mike from me (as if he has no free will of his own) was linked with my own memory of having no tissue on hand despite having to poop at school. So it’s an explanation for all that pain I experienced in the past. The relief afterward was great, probably (not that I remember), because I at least wasn’t completely dirty afterward (I had a handkerchief, thank God). 3. Wonder and further questions 1. What could be the effects of me interpreting the dreams on the Logos? Do I stamp something back in return for the information package they gave me? I did my best to interpret it. I hope God accepts my interpretation. I’m grateful for the explanation. 2. So maybe this is really about my writing a day ago about “completing the set” with the incel killers? I suppose it’s “triggered” by mentioning Katniss in the same breath, using a “weapon” (a syringe) versus her real weapon (a bow) and my using a knife instead of my entire Logos framework. I suppose the dog or “wolf” in my dream got better food because of Ivo Dalman. His name is also vaguely “dalmatian” to me, so there’s that funny synchron. ### Ruminations 🩻 1. I need to become more mature, even though I think I am growing steadily. I realized it laterally through ruminating about people irresponsibly having children, and how unwise it is to bring them into the world knowing you can’t support or sustain them at all, and what if they end up in precarious situations where they literally can’t survive on their own. People’s lives are so fragile and prone to accidents and injuries you can never predict, even sudden tragedies like becoming homeless, having your house burn down, being robbed or burgled, being screwed in an investment, being fired and never getting a job ever again, being edged out of society slowly through old age and being forgotten. I realize my parents have so much to worry about more than I do, and that must take an extra smattering of adulthood I simply cannot fathom at 28 years old. Maybe I will someday. I have literally no one depending on me to stay alive. That is so scary to think about currently. I never had a pet in my life. My dad is jobless/self-employed and his business does not earn a lot right now, and I cannot imagine the anxiety (he seems to be calmer than me although he may suppress feeling it because he is not introspective) that he must shoulder to live like that, although I trust that my mom will come through because she’s more neurotypical than him and can acclimate better in society to earn money, and besides, we have money anyway through the family corp., so why worry at all? I just realized it’s a non-problem and how lucky and fortunate I am. I just am so scared I wouldn’t be able to make that a reality in my own life. I’m disabled myself and am dependent on somebody. I can’t taste true independence until I become disciplined and an actual adult who sticks to a schedule with accountability and regularity and get tasks done regardless if I feel like it. I’m truly not an adult yet. Not at least until I finish college. Being a writer was always a precarious choice. I guess this is the price I pay for pursuing a passion instead of a dependable life with regular paychecks. 1. I need to be able to develop real habits now. A real system that I can lean on to regularly help me labor on time, regularly, and produce stuff to be able to earn my keep. This is simply a rite of passage for all humans to go through the labor force. It’s inevitable that I take part in it because I am not a full heiress who has carte blanche with money. I will have to worry about money when my parents die and have to prepare for the overwhelming loss that will likely hurt like hell again, and will destabilize me unless I manage to get a family of my own too to help me cope and to lean on for support. I need to do that to be able to survive in this life. Unfortunately, God requires me to work for real, and not just blather and tinker and hope it lands in the ether of megabytes. This is Real World. You said so yourself, you do not run from discomfort. Make that even more real by applying your principles more regularly even as you grow older and more weary bodily-wise. You will learn to get used to it anyway, just as you have acclimated to using your planner every day since September 2025. It is now February 2026, and you have massively improved in under a year. It’s only been 5 months. You will expect more progress in the next months to come. Don’t worry so much, just put in the reps and hours and trust that God will help you work things out. 2. Quantum entanglement? 1. Why would I dream of that 25, 26, 57 and why would it affect Vico’s decisions later in the day? If he intentionally chose that picture with the numbers and “inspection” then it might hint at something profound. Does that mean we’re connected or bonded in some way? If there was 100% confirmation that he is deliberately doing that to send a message to me specifically, that is. It means that my dream in the past (that morning) was a vision of a future possible link between us (his post later in the day). 3. Elephants! Bela meaning “devour” and “swallow” 😋😉 I didn’t think of it, but that may be brilliant actually. Elephants mourning their dead. It means they somehow understand the gravity of death even though they are less evolved than humans. That is so profound too. What am I missing for the Godhead in relation to elephants? Death? The Possibility of Death? The heart of God towards suffering? Does God ever regret or mourn what happened with Satan? Do They wish things could have been different? Do They feel guilt sending Jesus to die and mourn Their humiliation on Earth? 4. Maybe I saw Marivic in 2022. Seems fitting. Aside from it being Ma’am Marby’s class (OMG HER NAME TOO), my mom prayed over me—X factor probably. It was family-related and I suppose Mike is a father-type a la The Scientist, fitting that my second manifestation was Norr Weston too. Clovis would be too far from family because I came up with Them only in 2025 (but I had no clue too that it would be Marivic—also happened in 2025). Marvic is also Vic Sotto, so father. ### Morning Pages ⚜️ Sunday badly spent. I used my armodafinil to concentrate on editing a picture, and I ended up hating it, so never mind. I really had to draw for hours just covering the background and my tiny hairs one by one, every gap and empty space between. It was relaxing, but nothing productive happened. I wish I read a book instead. Oh well, my motor skills could use some work maybe (might get unintended benefits hopefully).