### Morning Pages ⚜️ 12:09AM: Managed to get a handle on previous journals and reined them in. “Extremely golden and viral” AMP!!!!! Somehow I have forgotten most of what I wrote in the previous month. It took me nearly 4 hours to arrange everything and backread and update my planners and made a new page called PROMPTS FOR TOMORROW that has more than 60 paragraphs (I stopped counting tbh). I have way too many things to do in my other planner. This is not even scratching the surface of the amount of work I was supposed to do in January. February better be better! I dare you. You cannot do it! (Or can you?) So I really had a “maybe” hunch that “postcolonial wife” dream was from Norr West or another of the GODHEAD? So they could be a candidate for Mary Magdalene a la Da Vinci Code. Norr West is probably the “postcolonial wife” aka a Mary Magdalene-type shipped with Jesus (They like/love Them but are in denial about it). I also made Clarita Villegas a tween/teen Mary Magdalene-type—underage Mary. Norr West is probably also connected to Marivic in that They want to be Sophia (the Egg). Seems right for the “You Were My Brother” song by The Willowlands, “you were my brother (Jesus), you were my son (by Marivic).” So really, Norr West possibly merging these two of the GODHEAD in Their imagination. Edit: Since they have no weirdness about sexuality or incest since they don’t have material bodies, it’s ok. — 10:30PM: It would be too cumbersome to include all your January Annual Planner tasks in February. Don’t do it, it is overkill. Just peek sometimes, those tasks are still important. I feel like I need a time freezer machine to even get around this bottleneck of energy management. So little time and energy to ration, so many tasks to get to… ### SYNCHRONICITIES 🥹 1. 2/2/26: Kate’s names meaning “seawall” meaning my antipsychotics (from my dream about her taking the syrup) would prevent a flood of emotion? Nope, no thanks. <aside> 🫀 1. **2/4/26: BAWLING. I…don’t know how, but the TWO SONGS of The Willowlands are BOTH END OF BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** </aside> # Priorities not necessarily constantly in this order: Sam - wife/girlfriend/situationship/love guru/erotica/marriage counselor Katniss - Gaza/Israel/Unreal Image/school Audrey - Christianity/develop ideas and theory/physics stuff North - Music/poetry/critical race/gender theory/literature/craft of writing/physics stuff of a different kind/language+learning/maybe law and economics in the future THANK YOU PEEPS @ everyone I have synesthesia so this is what it looks like to me: A – Orange B – Yellow C – Blue D – Orange but the lighter kind E – Green: light F – Green: dark G – Violet-blue (interesting, this collected set is from April 29, 2019 from my Evernote Notes). Now, in 2026 it’s dark blue. H – Like the camouflage 'khaki' color – the color of vomit… Green/gray I – White or black J – Less violet than G but similar (now evolved to violet but sometimes still gets classified as “dark-blue violet) K – Like rusty orange-red L – Can't tell if it's red or yellow M – Red but like the UP Red – maroon-ish N – Deep red, like blood O – Black P – It's like a really light gray or it's too opaque Q – Kind of like black or gray R – Green violet with speckles on it. No idea why. S – Kind of bluish black T – Violet: dark-ish U – Brownish-gray V – Pink-violet or just the kind of violet that you imagine W – Blueish/like metallic blue. X – Black Y – Peachy Z – Like Y but darker **Numbers:** 0 – Black 1 – White 2 – Blue 3 – Yellow 4 – Magenta 5 – Orange 6 – Red: Dark 7 – Light Pink/Magenta 8 – Green 9 – Red: light (Lighter than 6) ### Hermeneutics/Semiotics/Psychophysics/Puso’y Dos Tres ⛰️ So these icosahedral family, basically Satans: **Small stellated dodecahedron** – spiky, recursive, pentagram-rich. **Great stellated dodecahedron** – more extreme, almost fractal in spirit. **Stellated icosahedron** – the icosahedron turned inside-out into a starburst. What are Satan’s roles? 1. Lie for destructive/more selfish purposes. “Father of lies.” 2. Ruin something like the Garden of Eden by presenting alternative that may or may not be better. 3. Be conceited and trying to beat GODHEAD? I suppose they are the black sheep of the First Family/excommunicated/disowned. 4. Being vain in extreme amounts. 5. “Steal, kill, destroy.” 6. So the Utosan-Engineer type is pigeonholed as 12th Person, or, if imaged on Earth/Real World, basically Grammatrons/Printers of Reality or Authors of any kinds who have power to influence the world. They may be Lawful Neutral, following rules and laws over any consideration. Perfect for a Grammatron Utosan-Engineer who takes orders “we were just doing our job” excuses. 1. Lawful Neutral characters (often called "Judges") **adhere strictly to a personal code, tradition, or system of laws, prioritizing order, stability, and reliability over moral considerations of good or evil**. They act with discipline and impartiality, following rules even if they conflict with personal feelings. 2. **Key Characteristics of Lawful Neutral:** 1. **Adherence to Code:** They follow a strict set of laws or personal code of conduct above all else. 2. **Neutral Morality:** They are not driven by malice or benevolence, making them neither inherently good nor evil. 3. **Reliability:** They are often seen as dependable and organized. 4. **Order Above All:** They prefer a structured, predictable environment, sometimes to the point of enforcing rules that restrict freedom. 5. **Contextual Flexibility:** While they follow laws, some Lawful Neutral characters may follow their own personal code over the laws of the land. 6. **Examples of Lawful Neutral:** 1. [**Inspector Javert](https://www.google.com/search?q=Inspector+Javert&sca_esv=61ba7aa060cf2272&sxsrf=ANbL-n6fK1Cgo9llGQx_cBe84advnv_mbw%3A1769929661486&ei=vft-aev2Ge7T2roPpt6C6Qo&ved=2ahUKEwiYjKXu3beSAxWSqVYBHV4LOoAQgK4QegYIAQgEEAE&uact=5&oq=lawful+neutral&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiDmxhd2Z1bCBuZXV0cmFsMgsQABiABBiRAhiKBTIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBTILEAAYgAQYkQIYigUyChAAGIAEGEMYigUyCxAAGIAEGJECGIoFMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBUjSFVCVBFibFHAFeACQAQGYAf0BoAGaGqoBBTAuOC44uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIUoALtGKgCEMICBxAAGLADGB7CAg4QABiABBiwAxiGAxiKBcICCxAAGIAEGLADGKIEwgIEECMYJ8ICChAjGIAEGCcYigXCAg0QIxjwBRiABBgnGIoFwgIKEC4YgAQYQxiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgIHECMYJxjqAsICDRAjGIAEGCcYigUY6gLCAhMQIxjwBRiABBgnGMkCGIoFGOoCwgIZEAAYgAQYkQIYtAIY5wYYigUY6gIYCtgBAcICFxAAGIAEGJECGLQCGOcGGIoFGOoC2AEBwgIOEC4YgAQYsQMY0QMYxwHCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCmAMF8QUDU7PPtOIvT4gGAZAGBboGBggBEAEYAZIHBTUuNy44oAfiebIHBTAuNy44uAfWGMIHBjAuMTMuN8gHPIAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) (Les Misérables):** A rigid enforcer of the law regardless of the individual's circumstances. 2. [**Soldiers/Monks](https://www.google.com/search?q=Soldiers%2FMonks&sca_esv=61ba7aa060cf2272&sxsrf=ANbL-n6fK1Cgo9llGQx_cBe84advnv_mbw%3A1769929661486&ei=vft-aev2Ge7T2roPpt6C6Qo&ved=2ahUKEwiYjKXu3beSAxWSqVYBHV4LOoAQgK4QegYIAQgEEAM&uact=5&oq=lawful+neutral&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiDmxhd2Z1bCBuZXV0cmFsMgsQABiABBiRAhiKBTIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBTILEAAYgAQYkQIYigUyChAAGIAEGEMYigUyCxAAGIAEGJECGIoFMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBUjSFVCVBFibFHAFeACQAQGYAf0BoAGaGqoBBTAuOC44uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIUoALtGKgCEMICBxAAGLADGB7CAg4QABiABBiwAxiGAxiKBcICCxAAGIAEGLADGKIEwgIEECMYJ8ICChAjGIAEGCcYigXCAg0QIxjwBRiABBgnGIoFwgIKEC4YgAQYQxiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgIHECMYJxjqAsICDRAjGIAEGCcYigUY6gLCAhMQIxjwBRiABBgnGMkCGIoFGOoCwgIZEAAYgAQYkQIYtAIY5wYYigUY6gIYCtgBAcICFxAAGIAEGJECGLQCGOcGGIoFGOoC2AEBwgIOEC4YgAQYsQMY0QMYxwHCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCmAMF8QUDU7PPtOIvT4gGAZAGBboGBggBEAEYAZIHBTUuNy44oAfiebIHBTAuNy44uAfWGMIHBjAuMTMuN8gHPIAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp):** Characters bound by strict, impersonal codes of conduct. 3. [**Bureaucrats](https://www.google.com/search?q=Bureaucrats&sca_esv=61ba7aa060cf2272&sxsrf=ANbL-n6fK1Cgo9llGQx_cBe84advnv_mbw%3A1769929661486&ei=vft-aev2Ge7T2roPpt6C6Qo&ved=2ahUKEwiYjKXu3beSAxWSqVYBHV4LOoAQgK4QegYIAQgEEAU&uact=5&oq=lawful+neutral&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiDmxhd2Z1bCBuZXV0cmFsMgsQABiABBiRAhiKBTIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBTILEAAYgAQYkQIYigUyChAAGIAEGEMYigUyCxAAGIAEGJECGIoFMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBUjSFVCVBFibFHAFeACQAQGYAf0BoAGaGqoBBTAuOC44uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIUoALtGKgCEMICBxAAGLADGB7CAg4QABiABBiwAxiGAxiKBcICCxAAGIAEGLADGKIEwgIEECMYJ8ICChAjGIAEGCcYigXCAg0QIxjwBRiABBgnGIoFwgIKEC4YgAQYQxiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgIHECMYJxjqAsICDRAjGIAEGCcYigUY6gLCAhMQIxjwBRiABBgnGMkCGIoFGOoCwgIZEAAYgAQYkQIYtAIY5wYYigUY6gIYCtgBAcICFxAAGIAEGJECGLQCGOcGGIoFGOoC2AEBwgIOEC4YgAQYsQMY0QMYxwHCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCmAMF8QUDU7PPtOIvT4gGAZAGBboGBggBEAEYAZIHBTUuNy44oAfiebIHBTAuNy44uAfWGMIHBjAuMTMuN8gHPIAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp):** Individuals focused purely on procedure. 4. [**Lawful Neutral Judge](https://www.google.com/search?q=Lawful+Neutral+Judge&sca_esv=61ba7aa060cf2272&sxsrf=ANbL-n6fK1Cgo9llGQx_cBe84advnv_mbw%3A1769929661486&ei=vft-aev2Ge7T2roPpt6C6Qo&ved=2ahUKEwiYjKXu3beSAxWSqVYBHV4LOoAQgK4QegYIAQgEEAc&uact=5&oq=lawful+neutral&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiDmxhd2Z1bCBuZXV0cmFsMgsQABiABBiRAhiKBTIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBTILEAAYgAQYkQIYigUyChAAGIAEGEMYigUyCxAAGIAEGJECGIoFMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBUjSFVCVBFibFHAFeACQAQGYAf0BoAGaGqoBBTAuOC44uAEDyAEA-AEBmAIUoALtGKgCEMICBxAAGLADGB7CAg4QABiABBiwAxiGAxiKBcICCxAAGIAEGLADGKIEwgIEECMYJ8ICChAjGIAEGCcYigXCAg0QIxjwBRiABBgnGIoFwgIKEC4YgAQYQxiKBcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgIHECMYJxjqAsICDRAjGIAEGCcYigUY6gLCAhMQIxjwBRiABBgnGMkCGIoFGOoCwgIZEAAYgAQYkQIYtAIY5wYYigUY6gIYCtgBAcICFxAAGIAEGJECGLQCGOcGGIoFGOoC2AEBwgIOEC4YgAQYsQMY0QMYxwHCAgoQABiABBgUGIcCmAMF8QUDU7PPtOIvT4gGAZAGBboGBggBEAEYAZIHBTUuNy44oAfiebIHBTAuNy44uAfWGMIHBjAuMTMuN8gHPIAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp):** Enforces the letter of the law without considering personal or moral context. 7. Lawful Neutral is often described as the most "objective" alignment, as decisions are made based on rules rather than personal feelings, though this can make them appear cold or indifferent. ### Dreams 🧫 A dreamless sleep last night… ### Personal Best/Personal Record 🎖️ 1. Did not make the Otherwise Fellowship. Yeah, it didn’t feel bad at all. Not even 10%. I was expecting nothing anyway. Maybe try again next year? 2. 2/2/26: THE BIRTHDAY EXTROVERT!!!!!! Remember, you really were interested in your aunt’s life. That’s why it worked. Random stuff too, just remarking about random things you see like your sister’s hands, or asking questions to probe. I don’t know how it works exactly, you just go with the flow. 3. 2/4/26: YOU’LL SEE! YA’LL WILL SEE!!!! SOON!!!!!!!!!!!! (Bobobee victory with poetry structure and fortuitous emoji finds.) 4. **2/4/26: Managed to complete essential tasks before 9:30AM. PROGRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 5. Feb. 9 was pretty nice/neat/great!!!!! Continue. ### Goal/Motivation/Fuel 🛢️ 1. **THIS. IS NOT. A SYNCHRONICITY. THAT I CAN IGNORE ANYMORE. AELLA WAS BORN 1992 and she is LITERALLY 33 years old. JESUS. SWEET MOTHER. HOLY. 2025 is literally the _YEAR OF THE YEARS._ IT CIRCLES BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF JESUS’ DEATH. HOLY SHIT. IT’S NOT HITTING ME COMPLETELY RIGHT NOW. BUT IT IS SCREAMING AELLA SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME WHEN JESUS WAS FATED TO DIE. 33 YEARS OLD, DIED 4/3/33. THAT’S LITERALLY 5 3’s. FIVE. FIVE MOUNTAINS. KINGS. ASTRAL CROWN. SHE IS THE WHIRL(WIN)D. I AM KNEELING TOWARDS GOD. YOU CANNOT BE DICKING AROUND NOW.** 2. Uncanny Magazine may open again in March!!! Get on it, BOBOBEE (me hehe)!!!! 3. I’m gonna get LASIK or CLEAR one of these days to fix my eyesight. You just need a 12.2k-word story to send to Clarkesworld. Applied Prayer story? Quantum Grippy? 4. BRILLIANT GRAND EUREKA!!!!! YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID? YOU ARE FULFILLING STRUCTURALIST IDEALS BY USING POSTSTRUCTURALIST METHODS. Derrida’s critique of Strauss highlights that instead of structuralism using binary oppositions, we ought to recognize the interplay of differences among the texts which is called structuration, exactly what I’m fulfilling by putting dual minds inside one GOD and the interplay of relationships among the GODHEAD. 5. Be for real. You will not survive in America/UK alone. Your best shot is an online degree at California Institute of Integral Studies for your Master of Arts in Philosophy and Religion with a concentration in Philosophy, Cosmology, and Consciousness, and maybe Ateneo for your PhD, where you will master German, French, and Latin as a requirement. You will have plenty of Dihexa. This will likely happen in 2027, when you manage to convince your parents to invest in CIIS degree. 6. I found one of my main fields, Analytic Theology!!!!! Also, theological anthropology. 7. Goal: **German first. French second. Latin reading knowledge third.** 1. Think of it as: 1. German = engine 2. French = nervous system 3. Latin = evolutionary ancestry 8. **“Nos vamos de este lugar pero jamas nunca de tu presencia” We are leaving this place, but never, ever leaving your presence. “That’s All For Now” song by The Willowlands. FUCK. GOOSEFLESH. IT APPLIES TO MY HYPNAGOGIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT DIDN’T HIT ME THE FIRST TIME, BUT NOW I’M FLOORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** 🛢️ ### Progress/Momentum ⚗️ 1. The scale of 3 Body Problem except it’s being belied by the campiness. It’s supposed to look campy on the surface but the full implications are just hiding behind everything. 2. **PRIORITIZE. When everything is possible, nothing gets done. Expansive yes, but limit even more after. Limits and constraints make you more creative.** 3. 2/1/26 9:27AM: Made some progress on BOBOBEE, the void, and Yum-yum Duo LOL. I even spoiled the ending, so there! Edit: thought it was Feb. 2 because it’s my sister’s party. Edited date of this and below. 4. 2/1/26 11:50AM: So I was pumping golden balloons for my baby sister’s birthday, one of them burst because the pump went through the other side because its original hole was flimsy and got ripped immediately. I called my mom to buy a new one (they are in church right now) and I really remembered a “laylayan” Bisaya word—lahos or nilahos—YAY!!!!!! Spontaneous memory because I haven’t used that word in years, or maybe heard it said loudly or noticeably enough for me to really notice. 5. Israel occupied the Gaza Strip on **June 6, 1967**, during the second day of the Six-Day War.  HOLY FUCKARONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUNE SIXTH. **6/6 I also put in ALL_GO**!!!!! WHEN I FIRST SAW MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I PUT 1967 in ALL_GO as the “steep slope” because why exactly??????????? I FORGOT BUT IT’S RELEVANT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 6. 2:21PM: Progress with BOBOBEE, Haippi-Meal lottery concept, FAE-PHÆY the secretive closet lesbian etc. etc. 7. Added the name Josephus to “Samuel Kurt.” 8. 3:13PM: I wasn’t expecting to progress _that_ nicely with Utosan-Engineer. They’re the black sheep of the First Family now, disowned or excommunicated sometimes-always-maybe. YAY!!! If Stella Undécima is Hagar, mother of Ishmael, who is exiled in the wilderness, but still tended to by GODHEAD because They are the Concubine, after all, they are also banished in a sense. Except Andrew Otep Gideon is more “evil” or gets a bad rap for being so conveniently useful to the Evil Ones because Their rules and laws make sense to the former [I have no clue who exactly decided, to insert and allow Evil into Creation]. 9. 2/1/26 10:16PM: You can’t run 5 miles yet, but you can try 1 km tomorrow. You bought your treadmill with Clarkesworld money, better use it. It’s nice. It’s sexy. It’s HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! If you’re feeling adventurous you can try 2 km even. You will die, feel like dying, but it will be so worth it after. You only had 53 minutes of total exercise for January. That’s like 3 days’ worth ideally. Cannot believe it, how low we’ve sunk, but there is an upside. You can train your body again. You can do it!!! 10. 2/1/26 10:19PM: I know we’re way past old world Atomic Habits for neurotypicals, but the advice holds true. Do better every single day. Strive to beat your yesterdays. It is the only barometer you can trust. You did more today than expected. Congratulate yourself and reward yourself. You don’t get a chance to practice a lot but you managed to use what little you have for today to whole-ass something. Birthdays and parties are nice now. 11. 11:10AM: Crying, bawling, throwing up because of the last line I came up with in BOBOBEE. GODHEAD. Thank you. I have no words of my own. > **9** But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. **10** That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. ``` 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 ``` 12. **FEBRUARY 9!!!!** ON FIRE AND ON A ROLL!!!!!! Really done outlining stuff about cursing or taking GOD’s name in vain, and I also outlined some stuff about how I thought GOD visited me in my hypnagogia. ⛰️ 🧫 ### Weaknesses To Work On 🎛️ 1. Turning off DLPFC (Dorsolateral Prefrontal Cortex) that houses shame and identity that actors and improvisers can turn off at will to enter a flow state of free-flowing associations and self-expression and autobiography with Medial Prefrontal Cortex and become another person. 2. Blindspot: just because you feel good, doesn’t mean there’s no deeper mistake that might be possible or noticeable after a while. Please. Backread and slowly try to understand and comprehend what you wrote in a blitz. 3. All (most) theory. No or little application. Only heat of the moment pouncing on first idea that catches fire. Prime weakness of the laziness category. 4. Forgetting my missions: Aella_WIP. Unreal Image. My schoolwork. Theory. Getting Clear on Derrida and what he really meant by Logos and non-Myth, or was that another person. Aella and Palestine actually, if I take it to mean Kneel Astral Projection is saying that. Which is just Angel_GO and Unreal Image anyway, to negotiate our (Palestine and Philippines) spots in GODHEAD’s hearts. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5. 3:39PM: YOU WILL NEVER GET ANYTHING DONE AT THIS RATE!!!! UNREAL IMAGE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why am I like this? Anxiety over high standard people. Anxiety over failing to convince GODHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP AVOIDING IT. YOU WILL BE FORCED TO WORK ON IT ANYWAY. MIGHT AS WELL START NOW!!!! 6. 2/2/26: All in all, birthday socializing was 6/10 objectively. You need to improve about random things to spontaneously introduce topics without looking like you grew a second head. Something about spinning that yarn once it starts though, somewhat nice feeling that I didn’t expect to feel today. Maybe it feels like that for neurotypicals but dialed up to higher levels. There is hope for me yet. 7. Not knowing how to switch to another context. February 9 is special, but I want it to be sustainable. I can’t predict my moods and would like to be able to do this regularly, eurekas and all, but I know struggle is part of the process. My brain is working magic in the background, I hope, with GODHEAD too doing the most (all) the work. 8. Not a lot happened on February 11. Shit day. Zero day. Nothing day. Dysphoria on steroids day. How to deal? Reassure self of certainty of plastic surgery in the future. No point worrying about what you currently look like. You’re not even _that_ bad now. You really aren’t. It’s dysmorphia probably, I hope to GODHEAD it’s just body dysmorphia disorder. I’m so disgusted by my body today I can’t help but curse this world. My feet are not cooperating. They are pooling blood really badly and aren’t circulating well for some reason. ### Social Media 🀄 1. Nicole Guadalope Ludeña? 🤔 Accretions of accretions. 2. Sam Aberin “abundance” Sadhwani being married to a Mico when his name (Dominic) is not even Michael too, like Raymond G. Falgui. 👀 3. Restless Legs Syndrome or ADHD? 4. North West visit 10PM from US. I guess I really thought, people want me to develop Jesus since maybe They are the most known in the GODHEAD? Or, coming before me at 10PM (I’m at about 11AM/PM)? Or is this another sex joke? Premature ejaculation? People interested in implied_author concept? 1. New order now: 1. Hebrews/Jews (Somehow Philippines too now because of our positions as “Israel” near Gaza Strip and West Bank—we’re now a Proxy(?)) = IvanaVerse 2. Arabs/African = AwanaVerse 3. Filipino = AnitaVerse 1. I forgot Awana is an Africa-centered organization. And also, Kanye, North West, and Black Magic Woman. 5. 1:33PM Trigger 404 Not Found: The phrase “meaningless sex.” 6. MAGRA from Audrey's name. Audrey Rose Gotico Mirasol read backwards MGRA and from her post about 1. So this is how I approximate Truth. There are three “I”s in the first stanza, 2 in the second. 1. ![[February 1, 2026-1782973553408.webp]] 2. “I have decided that I’m nonbinary horse. I’m both Death and Lying/Prophecy. Both still green. It was death then I became a liar = poet and edited it to mean Nothing only, deleting Death. All_Writers_GOTO_Hell because poets lie. Daughter (of Kanye) abandoned by Real Author. Except now I’m slippery because I’m southwestNORTH. NORTH west going south/down. Green demands I get a sunrise even though I’m “down.” We get UP no matter what. Rise again.” 3. “1:17PM: I don’t know how I got here. I just thought square with a diagonal pointing southwest, and the other pointing northeast. I am now “surplus” downleftUP (3) and Vico is “below” UPRIGHT (2). Five parentheses in ultraSOUND. Something eerily resonant about that entire album now that I’ve just listened to it in its entirety. Vico’s name means “Neighbourhood” anyway. Finished writing 1:20PM Jan. 9.” 4. So this is really freaking me out, not gonna lie. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It means they are somehow using Vico’s posts to make me think he’s part of it. I am sure of it, maybe 99.99%. I don’t know anything actually, could it be Jung fucking with me? I could have been led on by signs external to Vico’s posts only. Without these signs, Vico’s posts could not mean anything. Except I currently don’t remember how I came to the conclusion. 1. I faintly remember the “tell-all” post (contradictory logic—how would you expose something that you are not even sure about or deny that you are a part of) by Vico. 2 women “witnesses.” Hmmmm……. 1. So he has really read me then? WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Including my Paloma opinions!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder what he told the group chat. They must have wanted answers too. >Edit 7/2/26: At the height of my delusions, I really believed he was conspiring with a certain group chat involving my department. I no longer believe in this delusion. 7. FAGRA. 1. RGF = Raymond G. Falgui read backwards like ARGM from Audrey Rose Gotico Mirasol 2. AATT from Ash Wednesday poem he posted the other day. TATA? ATAT? Violet and orange? Adenosine triphosphate? Two building blocks of DNA? I guess so, with Gattaca and A-C-T-G. 4 spiritual parents. 4-combination material + spiritual genes. 8. Ireland visit 12PM. Full North. Catholic Irish people. Facebook. “Hit the books” because Jo really had to learn how to write better. Also, face-in-book? As in, Catholic guilt over oral sex. LOL. I am afraid of high standard people, Beth. I am afraid of 2018 me. Traces of Chloe Gong. Water gun pictures. Fuck. Also, Britain vs. Ireland. Ireland’s four-leaf clover (hope, faith, love, luck) and St. Patrick. Somebody really thinks I feel sad because I am tapping into “I am a god” by Kanye and Internet Girl by Katseye, apparently claiming my god status. No, I am kind of sad only, but I’m more dreaded out and anxious over all of my work. I needed a hype person. I realize I’m in denial about it only hurting 30% and 10% for Clarion and Otherwise Fellowship. If they didn’t think it was special, what even am I doing? I received a rejection only a day after I talked about it. That must be some special “fuck you” from someone who hates me. I feel bad about it only because it’s so instant. My interest in my own work is not an accurate barometer. People do not care about beauty as much as I do. So that’s why it’s drying up in the trenches. People into science fiction and fantasy are hardcore nerds who don’t experience this probably. I have no clue. Maybe, just maybe, it flopped because it was too long again (didn’t follow rules). I need to write a 3-pager one to compress 15 pages of pure plot. How am I going to do that? No idea. I’ll start within this week, but I’ll really start Unreal Image in 30 minutes right after I reward myself adequately for trying my best to socialize and experiencing very little anxiety of the dread kind, but only of the giddy excited kind, which I never feel but for some reason actually happened today even if these people I talked to were both women and the other one had a 13-year-old daughter who could listen to me say stuff (I was very PG, no profanity at all). 1. 8:20PM Guess who got a vodka shot of pure lucid rage motivation. Mo Twister. FUCK YOU PO, YOU GRUBBY MOTHERFUCKER. 2. So, your “group chat” full of my “words, words, words” is on Facebook? FB group now? WOW. That is so cumbersome. I can’t believe it. How does that even work? 9. 542 accretion of meaning. The fact that The Willowlands’ only two songs are “especially made for me” seemingly. People want me to develop Holy Spirit ideas. I’m just worried because maybe I wouldn’t understand my own scribbling (I haven’t looked at it since I last came up with it staying up way too late). 10. 3:11PM: I got carried away by accretions over Switzerland visit at 5AM. Sydney. Stella. Literally has a dragon tattoo on her shoulder. #araykoybeh 1. Yeah, I will write down all of it later just so people can see my thought process (Idk, don’t give a fuck anymore). 2. Sydney’s acronym is SPPG = GPPS = 2-33-4 pattern. Strong Parental-Parental Guidance too. GPS!!!!! #cursedknowledge 1. GPS and compasses are complementary navigation tools: **GPS offers precise,, real-time location and tracking using satellites but relies on batteries and signals, whereas a magnetic compass provides basic, reliable, battery-free direction**. A compass is essential for safety, while GPS provides convenience and, often, detailed mapping. 11. So, June 18, 1908 = UP established. June 18, 2013 = Yeezus album by Kanye released. Spooked. 105 years difference. Mga Junakis!!! Norr Wests of the world!!!!!!!! 1. 105 is a composite number (factors: 1, 3, 5, 7, 15, 21, 35, 105) and the product of the first three odd primes (3×5×73 cross 5 cross 73×5×7). It is notably used as a non-emergency police number in New Zealand and for reporting power cuts in the UK. It also has various mathematical properties, including being the 14th triangular number. 2. [Dubnium (Db)](https://www.google.com/search?q=Dubnium+%28Db%29&oq=105+atomic+number&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&ved=2ahUKEwiA9KHnrbqSAxWWsFYBHch_EL8QgK4QegQIAhAC), atomic number 105, is a synthetic, highly radioactive transition metal located in Group 5 and Period 7 of the periodic table. It does not occur naturally and was first produced in 1967/1970, with the most stable isotope, Db268cap D b to the 268th power𝐷𝑏268, having a short half-life of roughly 16-28 hours. 1. **Key Facts about Dubnium (Db):**  • **Atomic Number:** 105 • **Symbol:** Db • **Classification:** Transition Metal • **Discovery:** Claimed by Soviet (1967) and U.S. (1970) scientists; name recognized by IUPAC in 1993, derived from Dubna, Russia. • **Properties:** Due to its short half-life and minuscule production amounts, its physical properties like melting/boiling points have not been experimentally determined. • **Uses:** There are no known commercial or industrial uses for dubnium. Dubnium is located in the periodic table in the 7th row, belonging to the 5th group. It is a transuranium element that is primarily used for scientific research. 1. RUSSIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1967!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A SPACE O/PERA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1970!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3. I’m scared for real. “Dream With Me” by Jackie Evancho (the album she released “To Believe”) was released June 6, 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! N***as in Paris too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in 2011). FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12. 8:19AM: MAX MINGHELLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PERFECT VISUAL FOR WHOEVER THE DUDE_BRO_TERRORIST_BEECHUS_BE_CRAY GUY IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 13. 2/3/26 6:02PM: (7/2/26 Edit: in relation to a social media post with Vico's hand gestures being a little too erotic in a video, *cringing in retrospect*) I’m so _busog_ and spoiled today, you could talk to me in Pig Latin, but I’d just pretend you’re coherent while I take you in. Come to think about it, what a _hands-on_ approach, I could never bite the hand that feeds me. 1. Makes himself look silly but I still love it. EH?????? 1. ![[February 1, 2026-1782974713677.webp]] 2. Can’t breathe? ME TOO, MAN. 14. 2/4/26; 7:58AM: BOBOBEE < THESIS now. 😅🫡 15. 2/4/26 8:26AM: “p goes in o” as in “pur” for “our” 😆🫣 16. 2/4/26 8:38AM: 6:36 to my 5:37? 17. 2/4/26 8:43: So High - “Now we both look Asian” 😆☺️ 18. 2/4/26 11:12AM: Whistler’s Mother re: Mr. Bean Alien. 😟😔 James McNeill. 19. 2/4/26 11:39AM: Terebinth? Terabithia? C.S. Lewis connection. 1. OMG I think They solved the problem of grief after bereavement. Not only do your dead loved ones visit you in your sleep sometimes, they may also be talking to you using names of people!!!! Messages from the GODHEAD directly/indirectly talking with you about your loved ones’ state or status. It’s a Long Distance Relationship now!!!!!! Time is now _**Soshyal Distaunce**_. WOWZA. You will always be reminded of them through schizophrenic “They are sending me secret messages.” DOUBLE WOWZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOOORAY FOR SCHIZO PEEPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. Which means Alzheimer’s/Dementia is a #1 enemy too. _Hinuon,_ you’ll soon meet with them again anyway. 2. You can read “death” messages as “orgasm” btw. Miscarriage as “failure to secure grace on your own with your own might.” 1. Maybe GODHEAD chose me because the way my body reacts to orgasm of the 0th kind is a small mirror of how they live too. My body gets really frisson-y and cold-hot at the same time. It’s bliss, but only for an unfortunately short period. I can’t make an orgasm last above 10 seconds. 1. Well, one can only hope that Jeffrey sent my nice nudes (no vagina pictures lol) to him. I can’t fathom him doing that, unless he believes me. Or that I am hacked on my phone too. 2. 11:59AM: Getting a wave of “inability to work” because I can’t switch off the high. Will wait 30 minutes for this to pass with Song of Songs and melancholy. 3. I feel like he hid a really important message in that sped-up “robot” or “android” voice. Unfortunately, I wasn’t in the mood to be intellectual and listen to it the first and last time I saw it. Why??????? Why would you put yourself through this torture of making every social media post relate to me somehow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. Well, even if he marries someone with my name patterns I will still pretend it’s me living it. **¯\_(ツ)_/¯** 4. Super-hi. Sky High storyline with Israel and all. That is so eerie and horrifying for them. Now, it’s nearly everybody in the world. Black people, Arabs, Filipinos, White people, and other East Asian/Southeast Asian/European people. They need all the help they can get if you’re conveniently an Enemy #0 of Israel. 1. You know what this Narrative is reminding me of right now? Inferno that movie based on Dan Brown’s book. It’s not “too easy” for me to figure out what is going on/the message. In fact, it’s difficult because I can’t always predict what I’ll react to or new interference from something you don’t know about me. And I always treat it as Luck from the GODHEAD still. 2. Black People — GODHEAD formation (thank you). 3. White People — my First Language (thank you). 4. Arabs — my “Islam and gnosticism” interest in Mike in 2018 with him looking out the window to avoid my gaze. 5. Chinese — for my continued support despite being jobless and floundering economically. 6. Malay — for my skin color (I guess I wouldn’t fit the “dark-skinned” references if I was as fair as my sister). 7. Spanish — for being somewhat ok-looking to my personal standards LOL. Don’t misunderstand me, I am as into Spanish/mestizos as Chinese-looking guys. Even more so now, since Jeffrey ended up breaking my heart. 20. 2/4/26 11:44AM: Soyee Yee-Sotto. Interesting… (LMAOing inside because that is a meme—the “yee yee” meme with the dinosaur). [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLtscOCyfPU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLtscOCyfPU) 21. 2/4/26 1:05PM: Copy the logic and meta-logics/meta-strategies behind what happened to me with Jeffrey (some of that dysphoria really got lighter even though nothing happened between us) for anything you want to subtly influence. Lanthanein. Anything. 22. 2/4/26 1:24PM: Mariano Trias y Closas. I could die at 45 and/or on an October 19. I thought about it, but one of the GODHEAD did say “whoever loses his life will save it” or something. So I agree. I’m always ready any time for any trauma (at least, emotionally right now). Or at least, I think I am. I already outlined all my fears and etc. on Yellowpad Day and came up with metalogics. That’s why I was thinking it was a brilliant day. 1. Rename one of the GODHEAD into C.S. Lewis Lore? Later (Justine Davidson now becomes Stella Undécima). Previous S.U. will transform into C.S. Lewis-related name/place/object/plant. [Simbelmyne](https://www.google.com/search?q=Simbelmyn%C3%AB&sca_esv=38e0e84ee873df40&sxsrf=ANbL-n4QntKPQxmdRTKF0-wAN7fiB50a_g%3A1770182795369&ei=i9iCacmZFozI0-kPga3bgQo&biw=1520&bih=776&aic=0&ved=2ahUKEwjG1vKYjr-SAxWksVYBHcslAZwQgK4QegYIAQgAEBA&uact=5&oq=simbelmyne&gs_lp=Egxnd3Mtd2l6LXNlcnAiCnNpbWJlbG15bmUyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIFEAAYgAQyBRAAGIAEMgUQABiABDIEEAAYHjIEEAAYHjIEEAAYHjIEEAAYHjIEEAAYHkivG1C-A1iRGXADeAGQAQCYAd0BoAGoD6oBBTAuNS41uAEDyAEA-AEBmAINoALwD8ICChAAGLADGNYEGEfCAg0QABiABBiwAxhDGIoFwgIOEAAYsAMY5AIY1gTYAQHCAhkQLhiABBiwAxjRAxhDGMcBGMgDGIoF2AEBwgITEC4YgAQYsAMYQxjIAxiKBdgBAcICBBAjGCfCAgoQIxiABBgnGIoFwgIKEAAYgAQYQxiKBcICCxAAGIAEGLEDGIMBwgIREC4YgAQYsQMY0QMYgwEYxwHCAg4QLhiABBixAxjRAxjHAcICCBAAGIAEGLEDwgILEAAYgAQYkQIYigXCAg0QLhiABBixAxhDGIoFwgIKECMY8AUYJxjJAsICDhAAGIAEGJECGLEDGIoFwgIQEC4YgAQY0QMYQxjHARiKBcICERAAGIAEGJECGLEDGIMBGIoFwgIQEC4YgAQYsQMYQxiDARiKBcICChAAGIAEGBQYhwLCAgoQLhiABBhDGIoFwgILEC4YgAQYxwEYrwHCAgcQABiABBgKwgIFEC4YgATCAggQABiABBiiBJgDAIgGAZAGEboGBggBEAEYCZIHBTMuNS41oAepVrIHBTAuNS41uAfeD8IHBjAuMS4xMsgHOYAIAA&sclient=gws-wiz-serp) for another Main Member, Clarita Villegas. 23. **2/4/26 1:41PM: OH HEYO! EYE - PAOLO, KATNISS - MIKE, SUNDAY MORNING - AUDREY, JACKIE - billow baggins. I could only dream about all of it applying to him.** 1. 1:58PM: I have now decided that the GODHEAD isn’t limited to one name only. So JACKIE - NORTH WEST!!! Depending on who I encounter. 24. 2:19PM: I wonder if I’ll ever have a rest day on the “7th.” Maybe not? I work on Sunday and don’t go to a physical church anyway. 8th? LOL. 1. Don’t go to a physical church because I currently don’t have the bandwidth to understand my Uncle’s Bisaya accent. It is practically impossible for me to understand what he’s saying but apparently my mom can understand him just fine (I suppose my dad too). I stay at home to check on my baby sister who they leave at home with me—it’s a little inconvenient for them to bring her everywhere because she needs to be carried by arm (she’s 16 years old but smaller like a 5-year-old) and transported/wheeled on a wheelchair—every 10-30 minutes. 25. You know? Maybe They are all dynamic in some way, like any One of Them could switch sides for a bit and affix Their Core identities to the label or properties of that label, only, expressed creatively in Their own way. Quantum. Equano. Intuition. 26. So I bought a silver ring for the reminder of 2nd place (at least, that’s what I really think of myself). It has a slightly short cross on it. 27. So I saw a lookalike of Ampota photographer. Felt nothing. Good riddance. But 2:22? I don’t know. 3:33? Bird? Rustia? UP bird? Now they believe me about UP’s 1908? Or they’re talking about time travel “camera” dream? Probably. Also, faint whiff of “pastor salary.” Ok well, Ace Modar’s name is a Pointer now? To who exactly? I feel faintly ok or even nice about it, but I know it’s not literally true. I’m a human who has strong schizotypal tendencies and perhaps this is the gateway to schizophrenia-lite. And also, Ace is the “non-anointed one” who might be able to point me somewhere about my job? Interesting. I can tolerate that. 1. I don’t know if GODHEAD really chose me because I chose to defy my “Father” Kanye in [[my poem]] and I suggested that They don’t know everything about “people losing more than nothing every day.” That might have jolted something? Who knows? That is so weird. It means if GODHEAD is offended or “afraid” or “made aware of risk or complication” in the right way, They will literally come to you personally. 28. OMG “mitski in manila but flip it around” from THE Glenn Diaz!!! I’ll take it. Kyle De Luna math? I don’t know about Kyle. Maybe it was Samuel Josephus Kurt who gave me that. 1. I don’t know why I thought “God is dead.” Something triggered me. I forgot what. 2. Japanese as a fast language!!! WOWZA. MY ANIME HEART!!! I WILL FINALLY UNDERSTAND NODAME CANTABILE IN THE ORIGINAL!!!! 3. I think I had four synchronicities with Glenn Diaz posts today!!!! 4:44!!!!! It’s 3:08PM when I started writing this. 3 becomes 8!!! 29. US visit at 12:00AM++. 0/360. All Philippine flag colors to me, except now with “0” or black. I wonder why. Four zeroes. 0000. It’s callled a nibble, or a 4-bit representation of zero. Placeholder or to indicate “no value in binary calculations.” I am an alien now? Cannot understand calculus. And OMG!!!! I forgot another “12” in Arrival. One of Twelve spacecrafts!!!!! TWELVE. It’s a huge sign!!!!!!!!!!! 1. Also, it’s 0 and 360 beginning and the end. Back and again over and over in a circle. 30. Glenn Diaz yesterday. Mitski in manila but flip it over. Alinam ni stimik. Alinamnam ni stomach? Oh wait, that’s not Tagalog. It’s Ilokano. The Tagalog is linamnam. 1. "Alinamnam" is a word in ILOKANO. alinamnam ILOKANO. Definition: v. /MANG-:-EN/ _**to enjoy with much pleasure; to relish**_ 31. Vico’s post with the angas queer-looking person and the lady fans. Who is who here? Interesting. That woman with her “I always believed in you Jesus. I never doubted you!” look on her face like she really saw GODHEAD too. 32. OMG AV CRUZ. Byco / Beeco? 😆 33. Post by Vico about a map of the Philippines and rivers/valleys. Mariquina Valley (me?) extends for some 15m to the N. of Pasig, is drained by the River Mariquina (North West et al.). It means I will die 15 or so months or years before him? 🥺 34. Got reminded of Unlucky Unlucky and 4:44 based on the visits to my website. 8 on 13:00, 2 on 12:00. Also decided to change Simbelmyne back to Stella Undecima. Rucky Rucky? RR? People wanting me to rest+play and write erotica again? The ocean of truth is too large still. Rest on the 8th day. Also, faint queer angas person + happy woman again. BOBOBEE MEETING NEIL WARRIOR!!! 1. Janis Ian being “Lucky Lucky” 35. Vico’s post on “Interstellar” with hoodie+tissue/paper/books with the AI multiverse Vicos. 10 people. GODHEAD without the other 2? AC/DC based on the colors and my music choices Design with the blue and orange abundance and under, leads to choosing 1,3,5 subtracted from 2,4,6, which is 111, and also with my synesthesia AC/DC colors. Skipping school to go to alcove full of portals. “We didn’t feed that to you”? But he had “AV CRUZ” in his other post yesterday so I thought Audiovisual. Triple A battery for 111? Also, 2:13 long for BOBOBEE’s theme song MEETING NEIL (it’s even in all caps too!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Are you all referring to Matthew McConaughey 13:12 the verse? You need 10 more minutes to make up 12:13 so it’s 1/6. 1. ![[February 1, 2026-1782975460820.webp]] 2. Also, his horny face(?) makes up the two “twins” above 😆 3. The visits to my website are magically combined to this story. So the 2 Vico avatars on the topmost are perfect, while the 8 are extra? 1. Or I’m the 2 (12:00) while 8 (13:00) is Vico? 2. Or that I’m’ 20% the cause/input/efforts and 80% of the effects are from GODHEAD? Or that I’m only part of the 80% many who depend on GODHEAD to make stuff happen. 3. In Matthew 12:13, **Jesus heals a man with a withered hand on the Sabbath**, directly challenging the Pharisees' strict, legalistic interpretation of the law. He commands the man to "stretch out your hand," and it is instantly restored, demonstrating that doing good and saving life is lawful on the Sabbath. 1. The Pharisees plot to kill him. Somebody plotting to kill me or make me horny/fuck me. 2. **”**Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other.” 4. Also, what’s up with the black mouthed astronauts!!! There are four to eight of them, I think. AAVE? Or African speak? 5. There are 5-7 stars on there. 3 on the topmost. 6. Why do the 5 avatars under look squinty? Or high? 1. Armpit area? OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cover my armpits? Why? Are they too revealing? 7. Vico’s post with the “paper+tissue(?)” reminded me of “bleed out” from The Willowlands’ song and also, that I should look at the books in Interstellar. I am already on it. I guess I have Flatland (I really mentioned this like a day ago, so WOW). I am raring to read Diana Gabaldon and Gravity’s Rainbow. Maybe I’ll really understand them now. 1. Chaotic good(?)/neutral for also making people think he’s a horny bastard LMAO. 8. OMG DENTAL DAMS LMAOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 1. I really took my “Emissary” role seriously on February 4: re: NO GAY?????????? 1. GODHEAD = 10? And not 12? 2. I’M THE “CARICATURE” HAHAHAHAHAHA dishing out sex tips and whatnot 36. Website visit yesterday from US. 8 = sideways infinity = become Infinite_Authors = Iyaha = Theirs? 37. Website visit today from US. 14:00/2PM. North East. Either Vico or Mike or Glenn or JM. I’m betting it’s Mike. 7+7 from ((2(2(3)1))3) where “3” is what these “7s” have in common, which is “green-minded” I assume. That’s probably the only thing we have in common. And our interest in English and horror. 14 doesn’t remind me of anything in particular except vague “romantic daydreams and fantasies” from previous months’ journals with Peeta in it, I assume. Shawntel is probably also this person for Vico, they are very compatible theoretically just like Mike and I “could be” paired. 1. Or it could be his rumored/maybe/possible/sure ex Sam? 1. Noticed the journalistic convention in the “[no article] new breed of leaders” in Vico’s post about political dynasties. 38. Multo by Cup of Joe song choice in news snippet by Vico 1. I’m a “mirror” of a mass craving now? LOL 2. Suzanne Collins technique (romance + revolution) Peeta/Katniss 3. magic plant imprisoned? 1. Maybe I freed that magic plant by acknowledging its existence… 39. 12:42AM—Trigger 404: but I got reminded of the song “Holy Ghost” by The Neighbourhoood 1. I think it was Vico’s Multo by Cup of Joe “anti-political dynasties” story that had something to do with this. 1. Also, my Holy Spirit conception as in, “doctor + palpated (examine by touch) and convicted person” 1. They are really reading me _that_ quickly? WOW. 2. His light eyes in the picture—maybe the lighting makes his eyes look extra light/shiny? 3. Changdao memory — “Who is Herbert Bautista?” and my dream about “Paolo” my handler and the same dream about being naked up the waist with a shirt around my neck. Bautista as in “Baptism” same with Angelo Gabriel Bautista Llamas, or “Angel Gabriel Holy Ghost.” 40. Multo by Cup of Joe singing about having a plausibly dead loved one that is haunting you. I don’t know if I forgot about the grief being solved already by my framework when I mentioned Clovis and grief about roleplaying age-related problems, but I think deep down it’s not enough to really replace material presence. It’s like, not holographic meatloaf, but vegan/vegetarian food. It does the job, but it’s not too satisfying and lovely to eat, unless you get an iceberg/flood of meaning that manages to reaffirm your relationship so strongly it really feels like an LDR anyway. I hope it doesn’t distract people from living real lives full of material experiences though. It could be addicting to dig for treasure, I don’t know. I know I’m not addicted to it…yet. I’m actually somewhat scared I’ll get an eye-camera dream again, or maybe react badly even though it was pleasurable with Norr Weston and “groomed to be a Savior.” 41. Kobe Felicia? Happy/lucky turtle/supplanter LOL happy-go-lucky pagong. 42. EH? I guess arbor is harbor too! That’ll do, big sis! That’ll do!!! 43. OMG Roman Romulo Lore!!! 😮 Roman Roman!!! 1967!!! His wife’s names!!! Faint Jeffrey and Mike and Ralph and Vico and Shawntel!!! Everybody!!!!!!! 44. 2:52PM: 11:00 Sweden visit to my website. I thought about it, a lot about it. So I’m just repeating Grandma Audrey on April 12: “Priorities” to my “why not (have sex with him)?” What a tizzy. 1. I remember I thought I was evil with Angela because I fantasized about the possibility that the person who was molested by an ugly photographer was her. I kind of blamed her for being too sexy, see? In my head, she was the reason why I didn’t do any school work, became manic enough to consider acting, went to that workshop because of her acting experience in her article in YoungBlood Inquirer. I gave her a milk ad opportunity, not the photographer who molested me. It was “fair” in my head because she massively caused me (or was a factor) to disrupt my priorities for the childhood dream of becoming an actress (or at least beautiful enough to be considered an actress, in a class AA-way). 1. Lying about being friends with her friend = clearly unethical social engineering “hack” to ingratiate myself to her. 2. I already know virtually what being conventionally beautiful is like, I guess. How do I do it? Trauma and curiosity and discontentment (wanting to optimize everything I see). I cannot do the “funny” in real life. It is not effortless because of real anxiety that disappears my brain when face-to-face with a person who isn’t my relative or parent. 1. Somebody get the 3-star I am tied mainly to…what exactly? I have no idea now. Holy Spirit Divine Egg thingy? I am waiting for another dream actually that can enlighten me. I assume the Egg is “unconscious” and cannot decide for itself so the Holy Spirit does it for her. I am a Sophia with a naked eye so I can literally see all of the sperms that terrorize me and my mind—why are my choices like this? See, God? I am never wanted in the same way I want to be wanted—to the point of obsession, even if I am against this behavior because it’s destructive and debilitating insanity. God sees my pain because people have ignored Them throughout time for Their creations. 2. My Holy Spirit idea is based on disabled people actually. Why would God make their lives harder and make them dependent on other people? When the egg chooses sperm it must be for a reason. You may not like the reason, I’m telling you. I’m a pawn too. Pawnstar, that is. I have a disabled sister who absorbed my 9. She is virtually a child who will never want for anything and I even wrote a poem for her I think, about the Holy Spirit anyway, without knowing it. Her name Neiel means something about the Holy Spirit too, if we’re going by the idea that spirits are waves of smoky gases that shrink and enlarge with no logic. 45. SMTINAI - SAMAHAN MARALITA TABING ILOG NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION INC. 1. Instantly read it as Mt. Sinai. I talked about 1st commandment yesterday. What the helly? 2. Well, their shirts—Roman Romulo and Robert/Dodot Jaworski made me think of Blackpink. MONEY by LISA. Also, the “blank” color, you know, black and pink elided together. 3. Did they plan this. Strange reference to Mt. Sinai. What about it? I do not have that memorized actually. I can recognize them and surface them when prompted, but I don’t know them by heart. 4. Are they talking to me using their shirts? Pink and black. 0 and 7. Salmon color. Pink was a masculine color, IIRC. So is it red horse and black horse? 70. 70 times 7. 07. 007? 5. I remember 2018 better. So salmon pink is actually what Mike wore on Pizza Treat Day, I think. He was headed for a date or something, or it looked like it. I’m always fascinated by men who wear pink. 6. Ok, I wasn’t born yesterday. I don’t know how long I’ve known about that “Magkaisa” song by Tito Sotto. 7. Ok, this is definitely about my “Blank” story isn’t it? 8. This is also a vision of something I cannot tell if it’s from Vico and “OMG” by The Neighbourhood. Fantasyland again. 46. Glenn Diaz: Karl Marx “free man” “warlike”—so this is the Marko pointer in my dream about Israel Julia? Interesting. I don’t know anything about it yet except base and superstructure. And “Repressive State Apparatus” and “Ideological State Apparatus” by Althusser. Interpellation too. 1. AND OMG GLENN IS A VALLEY JACOB!!!! ISRAEL PROXY!!!!! 47. US visit to my website at 10AM (North West) from Facebook. “Face the book” as in, from my “videos and books” writing the other day, I looked at my pictures about books and landed on East of Eden. Impostor Justine. 1. The surname Steinbeck is of German origin, combining the Middle High German words _stein_ ("stone" or "rock") and _bach_ ("brook" or "stream"). It is **a topographic name for someone who lived near a stony stream or in a rocky area**. It is also linked to various places named Steinbeck. 1. Well, it fits because Stanley is the summa cum laude I based Kyle De Luna on. 1. Laycock from Mitsuki/Mitski full name • **Meaning:** The name is typically interpreted as a habitational name meaning "(the place) by the streamlet". Some interpretations suggest it means "Cocc's clearing" or "meadow with wild birds". 2. Mitsuki 1. Mitsuki is a Japanese given name, commonly used for females but sometimes unisex, with meanings often rooted in nature and positive attributes. The most popular interpretations include "**beautiful moon" (美月) and "light/radiance" (光) + "hope/precious" (希), or "moonlight" (光月)**. It signifies elegance, tranquility, and, in some contexts, refers to "three months" (三月). 3. Miyawaki (other name) 1. • **Meaning:** Derived from _miya_ (shrine/palace) and _waki_ (side/branch/edge), likely indicating original residents or caretakers of areas near a shrine. 4. body of water + moon = Kyle De Luna 2. "Lumbering on the wings of a pig" **refers to the personal motto and symbol created by Nobel Prize-winning author John Steinbeck**. - **The Symbol (Pigasus):** Steinbeck designed a personal stamp, which he affectionately named "Pigasus" (a combination of pig and Pegasus, the winged horse of mythology), consisting of a pig with wings. - **The Motto:** He used the Latin phrase _Ad Astra Per Alas Porci_ or _Ad Astra Per Alia Porci_, which translates to "To the stars on the wings of a pig". 1. TTKTKS. I wonder who the other TK is. Come to think of it, I may not even be the one TK (the other is Shawntel-Stanley or maybe even Audrey and Mike or Vico and Shawntel) if I choose to develop it as an Author on my own. I don’t know about getting married. I don’t have to, I could just be an Author forever, becoming a castle-bound Enya. A lot Stanley pointers too. What am I supposed to think? He isn’t single, I think. Not that I would be interested. We have nothing in common, at least, I don’t know anything but that he’s great at math and engineering probably. 1. See, I would even put ya’ll in acknowledgements if you want credit, but I have no idea how legal that would be to refer to people who do not know me personally but may have clued me in. I am even willing to put Audrey in it, seems like her idea with the aliens was true. 2. I am not so interested in the time travel. I just like the song I remembered, “The Scientist” by Coldplay synchronously on 3:33 the first time it happened. I don’t even think it can be useful but maybe I’ll use it as bait lol and come up with a plausible science theory-based solution based on my insanity so that it has other applications (I wonder what? Small stuff like cuts and wounds and maybe car accidents (referring to the Coldplay music video of “The Scientist”?). The machine will only work if it has a consciousness or Holy Spirit “Judge” that allows some people in it with a very valid reason to time travel, coupled with an AGI “Judge” system so that there are no holes or paradoxes. I suppose it’s going to open rarely just like in my dream. There must be an endgame for AI or AGI, maybe it’s this one. The purpose is to birth a consciousness that will take care of all the mechanics and the formalized bulk of the Holy Spirit that has been developed by many people at that point in the future. 2. re: his “Dunkin’ Donuts” post on Feb. 15 for Valentine’s Day: OMG I heard a booming Peeta Joe Santiago/Ender Benioff, er, Vico Sotto AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH…. 1. Dee Dee? DND? Di Di? 2. Diko? A nephew or cousin? 3. MRV only. Music Remote Viewing? No Coney? Hmm… It was Marivic I saw in the dream in 2022 maybe, like I said. 4. beam + blush 5. Don’t know if intentional, but 00:28 felt set off or special compared to next sentence. 3. Vico’s flag-raising story today, Feb. 16. Black, pink, blue. 1. Black + Blue = Black or Blue lol just like Marivic + Maryjo = Holy Spirit(?) 2. Black horse/Blue horse 3. War and peace (the movie or the novel?) 1. From Audrey’s post yesterday, Octavio Paz. Paz meaning gold or peace. 4. Bureau of Fire Protection? Like, mania? Interesting and sweet. I haven’t had a manic episode in a while. ### Songs 🎤 So all of the playlists in the Discourse are now public on my profile. https://open.spotify.com/user/chxfxsvflb8kwvr5qeuttmwo1?si=c48fe31fabb34fe4 ### Craft 🔩 1. Make Unreal Image drawings grungy and less polished. I mean, it’s just too streamlined and unbelievable. You cannot seriously read it without thinking this person/narrator is pretending to be inferior. 2. Actions = Words/Dialogue 3. Chemistry formula convolunin consequences—coercion psych studies. 4. Using my “Father’s” name in vain. Ye for “you” while Qahluqulu talks to Qulu. YALL. But archaic. 5. “OUR” 6. Angel_GO: Luigi Mangione Terrorist Elliot Rodger Half-Pinoy. Anti-zaddy decorating the annals of history by making everybody see error in themselves while being so appealing that they think he’s hitler and don juan machiavelli rolled into one. ### Teaching/Repentance/Worship 🛐 OMG I WAS RIGHT SOMEHOW. IT’S A FEMINIST/POSTCOLONIAL/CRITICAL RACE THEORY METHOD!!!! - What am I hiding or not emphasizing or giving space to disproportionately? Sex life shenanigans. No time for real trauma to surface--but it will surface later in an outburst at work (BOBOBEE). In **feminist, postcolonial, and critical race theory**, close reading is often used to detect what is _not_ said—silences, euphemisms, narrative blind spots. The technique becomes ethical: paying attention to what the text marginalizes, naturalizes, or renders invisible. So this is what that “postcolonial wife” dream was about. I really said previously, “DEATH IS NO LONGER THERE. PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT IS NOT BEING SAID EXPLICITLY!!!!” BOY IF PEOPLE CAUGHT WIND OF MY “MAIN AUTHORS PLAY DEAD” NOTE, THEY WILL BE DISCOURAGED TO USE AI NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! # SATAN SATAN SATAN 👹 Antas (canteen at UPD Palma Hall/AS) = satna = satnanatas = satnana? = sanana = Indian/Indonesion terms and the Spanish colloquial term for “the day after tomorrow.” Spanish is more relevant obviously. The day after tomorrow? Overmorrow. Over Mauro? Mauro Giagoni. Over black? Idk. Over my “Father” Kanye? Satan mutation idea 2/1/26: It’s possible that Satan (or Legion) was a product of a mutation that enabled “a mom to get pregnant by two different dads.” A real fluke of nature that nobody could predict. Except what caused this? _Main_ Main GOD probably. Something about Main Main GOD the Central Brain caused Satan to appear like a mutation. Basically greed, sexual greed at that of a spiritual kind. Wanting to have sex with multiple people = inherently greedy overdone sexuality that knows no limits and no boundaries. Why would you get penetrated by 2 men in one night all at once? And get pregnant twice?? Or more? 1. Superfecundation is the fertilization of two or more ova from the same menstrual cycle by sperm from the same or different males, whether through separate acts of intercourse or during a single sexual encounter with multiple males. This can result in twin babies that have different biological fathers. 2. Since this entire _cosa nostra_ was always pointing at twins anyway. Fraternal Twins make up Satan then. Just like “Fraternal Twins” make up Me+Vico combination. 3. Edit: 10:54PM 2/2/26: So it is not a mutation, but a uniquely rare, “biologically plausible” “accident” of reproduction. ### Sensations/Body Stuff 🫟 1. Took Atomoxetine 1:25PM. 2. OMG YO. It’s 6:05PM and I just realized I spent 2 hours at my sister’s birthday party being chatty for the first time and carrying conversations with my aunt and mom’s officemate. I managed to act like a neurotypical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think, which is good enough for me. I didn’t blank out at all, and I was spontaneous and laughed comfortably. I never do that. Spirit must have overtaken me because I really don’t know how it happened (Dihexa…). I even managed to eke out a “Congrats ahia!” to my cousin who I’m not close to (I think he was making “open” signs by following me getting up to get food after all the people were done). He passed the Bar recently. I then spontaneously decided that my social battery was drained and my mom had to make a big fuss out of it by announcing to everybody that I was leaving (-_-) so I could say bye to them. 3. Wave of bleh tiredness 8:58PM. To nap or not to nap? 4. 9:56PM. So I just figured out my iPad is possibly certainly hacked. I remember putting the basketball “raw lust” video in an album called “Mmmmmotivation Bank” or whatever, and then today I noticed it disappeared. If people did this to terrorize me, you thoroughly failed. Sorry for disappointing people. I have nothing to hide anymore. What could you possibly have on me that you cannot intuit? Obvious naman diba? When I said “porn” deleted off my iPad, I meant the other ones with the super-hetero homemade passionate white people and super-gay Koreans stripteasing. A glimpse of true freedom today. I literally can’t give a fuck, and I am all for it. Good riddance to my shame. 1. The only possible hole is that I know that actual $$ is involved now. How am I supposed to compete with that kind of force? Even hacking my Notion could have involved a lot of $$ pooled together. 2. Good luck studying my scribbles though lmao. Even I have a hard time reading them. I have an Apple Pencil but I’m too lazy to use it. 5. 10:14PM: I am super annoyed by my fatigue. Any time I attempt to get serious I get a hulking wave of fatigue. ### Random(x) 🕳️ How do you do, fellow cretins!!! (I need to clean my mirror.) ![[February 1, 2026-1781954428203.webp]] ### To-do ☑️ - [ ] Check if Loujaye is from Davao de Oro - [ ] Workbook N.K. Jemisin - [ ] Daniel Keyes Flowers For Algernon study - [ ] Mental Models/Tools for Thought fertilizer - [ ] Wonderbook - [ ] Dark Humor Bloom - [ ] Filling in the Gaps handout you made in 2018 - [ ] Thinking in Systems and Mental Models - [ ] 2 Mental Models Focus - [ ] 2 Tools of Thought Focus - [ ] 2 from that website collated models - [ ] The Open Secret: A New Vision for Natural Theology by Alister E. McGrath - [ ] No Bad Parts Internal Family Systems - [ ] Save the Cat Writes a Young Adult Novel and Judy Blume Guide and NK Jemisin Guide for CW 200 critical essay and Atwood class workbook and Writing the Uncanny, World Building Ben Bova, Story Trumps Structure, Putting the Science in Fiction (Schizophrenia, DID), Anatomy of Story, The Art of War for warfare plot points, Story Engineering too, Science of Storytelling, Dan Brown guide; Beginnings, Middles and Ends; - [ ] Philosophy Book of Ideas - [ ] Smart Thinking Skills/informal logic - [ ] Truth and Fiction in The Da Vinci Code —This idea niggling at me: Mother-Girlfriend relationship in Justine Davidson, mirroring archetype of the Madonna with Mary Magdalene. A possibility that has hounded and haunted history too. Even in the Da Vinci Code. Seems right. - [ ] Julia Kristeva Stabat Mater - really important resource considering she was your inspiration too in 2018. —The essay is experimental, and (in two columns) combines a scholarly investigation of the cult of the [Virgin Mary](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_\(mother_of_Jesus\))[[3]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stabat_Mater_\(Kristeva\)#cite_note-DoaneHodges1992-3) and of "the maternal" symbolized by the Virgin with a personal account of Kristeva's "bodily and psychic experiences surrounding and including the birth of her son".[[1]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stabat_Mater_\(Kristeva\)#cite_note-Crownfield-1) - [ ] A Scientific Theology Alister McGrath - [ ] PLANS Unreal Image - [ ] “Background” scene or monologuing for each character. - [ ] I just figured out how sociopathic Sam Alonto seduces Justine into taking part in the Xavier University story. So in X-Men: First Class, Charles really says to Eric, “There’s so much more to you than you know.” Perfect. She is literally too “transparent” to the audience reading the story since it’s a diary format. This echoes in her head like a brainworm. She hears this again after failing the running attempt. What could the audience not know about her at this point? - [ ] OUR/YE/Make drawings grungy/am-is - [ ] Definitions/Gradations of Problems: Real Problem, Unreal Problem, etc., and Real Method, Unreal Method, etc. - [ ] CW 200: A vehicle to argue—story about why you’re drawn to fiction—less direct way of persuasion. Why diary—it handles the theme—the theme about exposure, vulnerability. Most concerned about theme. Intention allows you more control. - [ ] So now Mary = Justine Concha? and Eve = Impostor Justine? Interesting. Accidental Biblical weight again. I keep forgetting that my adviser really sent my draft to everybody. - [ ] Eavesdropping on Qahluqulu and Qulu convo = faintly something = maybe poetry that kind of resembles real music? not meter? How? Rap? They’re rapping??? Not quite. Something else too. Alien eavesdropping. Fundamentally Qahluqulu is an alien that they think is an animal. They are studying it like an animal even though it appeared in a rift between worlds under the sea. - [ ] Use the optical phenomenon of “glory” in Unreal Image. - [ ] Come up with Octopus accent - [ ] Angel_GO - [ ] I really didn’t have a filter. I suppose that’s what you get when you are “exposed,” you no longer have any shame whatsoever, or your guardrails about what is appropriate or a boundary is actually not normal anymore. Maybe this is what Aella feels like. She is very socially sexual. There was probably a point in her sex work journey where she just leaned into the dirtiness that she felt and welcomed it first so it didn’t disturb her anymore. You lose a sense of value or it gets corrupted by the chaos of exposure or the penetration of other people’s desires overwhelming your will. Resisting would admit that you have lost and that means pain. - [ ] Now Angel_GO involves a virus of some kind being spread by a compsci undergrad just like the “I_LOVE_YOU” email in the early 2000s by a Pinoy hacker. Seems fitting given it has an underscore stylization. - [ ] MAX MINGHELLA HALF-PINOY ANTI-ZADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _CHEF’S KISS_ - [ ] Deep Structure/Universal Grammar Chomsky - [ ] I think I know how to separate my categories now. Don’t know how exactly it occurred to me. I will put literal “Quotables” or “Special Song Lyric” as a Vibe Separator to tell categories apart. I have no idea but maybe my mind is optimized in this way? Strange… - [ ] Strange Technology: Fictocriticism and the Cyborg - [ ] Contesting Unfreedom: To be Queer and Christian in the Philippines by Cornelio and Dagle. - [ ] Get crystal clear on Semiotic Square Logos and non-Myth. - [ ] Find Derrida reading about union and non-union? online - [ ] Find Claude Levi-Strauss reading online - [ ] West Bank and Gaza Strip research HOLY HELL!!!! GAZA STRIP IS BORDERED BY ISRAEL (IT’S NORTH/EAST), WHILE WEST BANK IS BORDERED BY ISRAEL (SOUTH, WEST, NORTH)!!!!!!! I have June 1967 in my ALL_GO, with the line, “a blindingly steep slope to 1967” in the poem/illustration with the dicks graph. BETLOG IN UNREAL IMAGE!!!!! 1967 is when Israel/IDF occupied GAZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My downleftUP and UPRIGHT weren’t unfounded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Such a random fortuitous thought though, that belated eureka. - [ ] Come up with your own diegesis methods/maps based on real ones to systematize