### **Grounding and Essential Routines (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง** - [x] Essential Stack - [x] Again Bruno Mars - [x] DLPA prep - [ ] Meditation 15m - [ ] Another meditation session 15m - [ ] Practice rap sing-along to get fluid juices flowing - [x] Iron - [ ] Preworkout **Take with fat sources:** - [x] Omega-3 breakfast - [x] Omega-3 lunch - [x] Omega-3 dinner ### Hermeneutics/Semiotics/Psychophysics/Puso’y Tres ⛰️ 1. I remember why I really thought I should have a ten-armed alien octopus. It was Vico’s Books, Books, Books post timestamp on FB which was 12:11PM. I thought, why 12, 11…? Countdown 10, 9, 8… 2. All right. It’s 9:44AM and I just ate breakfast. I am going to write about time travel in dreams—and only in dreams, for now—because it makes me look insane to convention to even try to seriously consider it in the Real World. I’ve had many, many unmistakably time-travel dreams. They do not feel like dreams to me. They have a very specific register or gestalt that is beyond what I could describe here, but that I immediately recognize once I enter one. It’s creepy. Yeah, that word—creepy—that’s the only diminutive word that I can think of at the moment to describe the hair-raising creep of dread whenever I am forced to enter a space that is empty and devoid of present people or concerns or memories, but uses the memory of my past to reconstruct a passageway to my past like a Zathura (the film) house floating in the middle of space. They are not “nostalgia” dreams or merely composites of past landscapes. They are, I suspect, a kind of alien consciousness that has hitched a ride and latched onto my mind for a few hours or minutes of my nighttime sleep. When I ‘go back in time’, I recognize myself in a body—probably an astral body—shifted in a strange context. I am inside that body like an astronaut is inside a spacesuit. 1. As of this date, I have had exactly 3 major time travel dreams that I remember at the moment. I’m trying to recall all of them to describe them to myself better so I can understand what is happening. A portal of some sort. An unconscious mechanism that opens very rarely—but does open, sometimes. 3. Clearly the lesson here is never ignore your gut instinct whenever you are “dreaming.” I could have brushed off that vague “molester+child” presence as nonsense. — **HEAVEN (F/D) /HUMAN LIVES (D/N)/EARTH (RW)** 1. The realization hit me like a truck. That D/N is only possible because of the ability to lie in different shades. From my ALL_WRITERS_GOTO_HELL.pdf. Books, which are not completely real world, not completely discourse-narrative, not completely fantasy-dream. It’s all blurred in books. A skilled writer will be able to flatline that bell curve seamlessly. A bell curve of distinctions between heaven/purgatory/hell. They are all virtual reality in the Text. You can absorb the Text in all its glory. The writer may or may not even agree with you if what they are writing from is from research, lived experience, a well-developed hunch, fantastical situations, interviews (like Ian McEwan’s method, I suppose, excellent well-lauded writer). I wonder where the synchronization is. I wonder what the effects could be. If both reader and writer agree on the “doubt”/confidence/risk/certainty of their own words read and imbibed. ### Dreams 🧫 No dreams that I remember. ### Ruminations 🩻 ### Catchy Wordplay/Puns/Copy/Bursts & Spritz 👑 ### Things to ask AI/Or not 📎 ### Personal Best/Personal Record 🎖️ ### Goal/Motivation/Fuel 🛢️ 1. **Support Dihexa research for schizophrenic/bipolar people’s brain recovery. Make it a real human-tested drug or refine it even further to reclaim and rebuild new superhighways of brain networks to replace old-world damaged pathways.** 1. To think, just 17 days of Dihexa is making me progress in exponential ways. I really can’t laud this drug enough. 2. And to think, it’s relatively cheaper than Cerebrolysin for that bang for your buck. I paid 5,600 pesos for 1 gram which adds up to 50 servings of 20mg each. 3. I’m remembering a lot of laylayan knowledge without even trying that hard. This is a real boon. This is how a normal brain is supposed to work. I got unbelievably lucky it’s also bioavailable through eating it aside from transdermal application. My parents would never have allowed me to take it. Next time, I’m going to tell them to label it as some other drug so my parents can’t tell it’s Dihexa. ### Progress/Momentum ⚗️ 1. **1:39PM Made GOD the Big Cat/Big Dog into North to North-Northeast/Big Brother Brotilde also. I just made the connection that Jesus is North West’s Big Brother. I hope I make more of these connections. MCT Oil is on fire today in my brain. I never would have put two and two together if not for some random reason like thinking Brother Germany Brotilde—>North to North-North East—>North West. Since, you know, Germany is not completely North East, but nearer to North than East.** 2. 2:50PM: Found a secondary intercardinal 210° in Mae Espada, from Las Piñas. She was a classmate in CW 100 with JM Casiño and Sadie Huang (again, rich student from Business Administration with “yellow”/noble in her name). Anyway, Mae always seemed to be a fan of Mike Falgui too, in a less threatening non-harmful way. I suppose we are twinned in that way. I followed her on IG just now to cement the Real World connection. She should be an Input Stream in my dreams now without trying as I try to understand Clarita Villegas and Pedrito Santiago. 3. Came up with {Cousin + Stepbrother/Stepsister} and {Uncle + Nephew} and {Aunt + Niece}. Or the latter is switched. BRB. I made the decision to make {Uncle + Niece} and {Aunt + Nephew} to trouble what that relationship means. It strongly relates to my “Real World” relationship with my “Weird Uncle” Mike Falgui. I am a “Niece” who was attracted to him, and I think he was somewhat attracted to me too. Here we go, twisted perversions of reality. These last two are the Main Source of those fetishes and kinks. Potentially a gateway to explore the concept of Evil/Satan/Perversion/Transgression/Taboo/Excitement-making-you-feel-alive-in-a-way. 1. I suppose the last two are “Satan” now. GODHEAD gets main 8 Arms, but the last 2 are “Deuterocanonical” in a way that makes GODHEAD scratch their heads. They already have {Cousin + Stepbrother} and {Cousin + Stepsister} potential for twisted porno sexy fun, but why did the last two appear as if they could best what GODHEAD had in mind with lust? The age gap, the power difference, the Power that the Weird Uncle holds over the Niece, especially in 2018. 2. This is a Grand Happy Thought, not gonna lie. I love MCT Oil. 4. 3:26PM: I named all of the First Family now. Yay me. I even classified them according to the animals they are related to in Isaiah 11:6, a Wolfgang/Wolf Major Pointer/Megatext. 5. I realize praying to the First Family just got a whole lot more fun now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m gonna make a sample prayer template to each of Them for fun or leisure. ### Weaknesses To Work On 🎛️ 1. Wanting to be “Great Stellated Dodecahedron” too because I believe the depth and mindfucking nature of my childhood++ trauma is enough to justify this. Come to think of it, you cannot stand the idea deep down, to be the Small one. You are the Small one, in a way. Impostor Justine without the beauty. It just stings. It probably stings in the way Vico has Will Stronghold superpowers but has Warren Peace looks. ### Social Media 🀄 1. Vico’s Health Story Answers about how to convince GODHEAD’s Hearts, specifically North West? 1. What do You pretend You don’t want because You are ashamed to think of even getting it or using it? (Something to make You more appealing to humans to make them appreciate You better.) 2. What do You wish was freely given to You? (Attention, care, love, loyalty, time, enthusiasm, investment.) 3. What do You feel is something denied to You so that You supposedly become more independent and non-needy and be able to get it Yourself in the first place without needing coercion or force? (People praying to You specifically, asking for Your help, being needed, being wanted, being heard for who You are aside from what they could get from You, knowing and empathizing with Your hidden suffering as well as Your outward defense mechanisms.) 4. I suppose I am a Saint of North West now. I am the “god” on Earth They talked to. ### Songs 🎤 I made my North West Black Magic Woman public on Spotify again so people can pray to North West or understand her better. [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2N2EINnsq28caUKJMeLExX?si=2Oys8hitTaG3chKiLYMkZw](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2N2EINnsq28caUKJMeLExX?si=2Oys8hitTaG3chKiLYMkZw) ### Craft 🔩 ### Teaching/Repentance/Worship 🛐 1. If people reading me actually believe my GODHEAD First Family, know that I never intended to become Central. It is just unfortunate that my ideas are the Main GODHEAD now. Not unfortunate for me, but for many people who cannot realistically relate to any of them. I have to be syncretic and Catholic in the sense that They are universal—I need more character study for creative writing anyway—to be able to capture the General Thread of the human condition through just 10 people. If people do not like Them enough, they are probably free to write their own based on mine, tailored to your own life and concerns, but with my “model” or “template” about how I came upon my conception of them all. Yeah, I think GODHEAD wouldn’t mind being filtered through many Portals. 1. As C.S. Lewis said, “If you are a Christian you do not have to believe that all the other religions are simply wrong all through. If you are an atheist you do have to believe that the main point in all the religions of the whole world is simply one huge mistake. If you are a Christian, you are free to think that all those religions, even the queerest ones, contain at least some hint of the truth.” Mere Christianity. New York: Macmillan, 1952: 43. 2. 6:01PM: Pedrito Santiago is now Magical Big Dog which is a Jesus-type just like North West. 2. Perhaps GODHEAD is planning to make another Second Coming with my Quantum Data but They need my help and other people’s to make it Real World in 20XX? ### Sensations/Body Stuff 🫟 1. 11:58AM: Now I remember why I hate MCT Pure C8 oil, even though it supposedly helps. It is making me queasy especially now with my period poops. _Hate hate hate hate hate_ this feeling. Like puking from my butt and wanting to poop from my mouth at the same time. The aftertaste of oil. EGAD. 1. Ok WAITAMINUTE. I synthesized my End and Beginning hunches on the day I started taking MCT OIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU KETOSIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. **Energy and Cognition:** C8 crosses the blood-brain barrier efficiently, providing immediate fuel for brain cells. 2. Atomoxetine from lunch kicking in. Thankfully my mom is uninformed to my advantage. She thinks it’s a “kiddie ADHD” drug that isn’t addicting. LOL. She confiscated my caffeine and I feel mildly dysphoric right now, so that’s fair. ### Random(x) 🕳️ 1. I bought a Mockingjay/Hunger Games necklace for anting-anting reasons and as a reminder to keep myself on track. 2. 1:08PM: Still drooling over Ideaverse Pro. 3. You know, I never expected North West and the Astral Projection Kneel to happen to me. Maybe these things are Real World to me now, but I have no idea how people are taking it actually. Do they believe me even more now? My science and evopsych theories may not be so convincing in the past, but maybe this is an X Factor that will enable people to believe me. I don’t want people to be afraid of the GODHEAD or hate Them. They are Real World to me, They are really precious Real People to me now, even though They are all made up of my half-relationships and writing. I suppose North West is really the strongest sign out there. ### To-do ☑️ 1. **GRAND TODO:** “The Final Assay” Essay. Formalize it, all of it. A book or a bunch of interconnected essays? Anita Love and military dream pointing to multiverse possibility and the practice of “witchcraft not working in our own world because you need a vector (magnitude and direction “out there” for it to work in another universe). Holy Spirit exact composition and relation to names and Biblical people. The idea that people “make it real” by roiling in it all the time throughout history and pop culture intersection and role of mass viewership/patronage/charging the LOGOS with objective weight based on consciousness+time+effort given to the thought/megatext/bundle of meaning that an artistic work or product harvests from your mind. A LOGOS that captures permanence of Real World Facts from traces of meaning accrued from names. Constants and stable structures. Expositions of Heaven/Human Life/Earth. Dreams. Third Brain. Time travel dreams. DEAD PEOPLE MOLESTING ME AND TALKING TO ME TRYING TO GET INTO HEAVEN. UNLOCKING AND OPTIMIZING THEIR HEAVENS. Hypnagogia werewolf. Werewolves and Isaiah. North West. Launch into GODHEAD DECAD FAMILY. Israel vs. the World. Bible stuff I am thoroughly balking at because of my ignorance. I only know patches of it. And also, quantum spookiness. 1. I never in my own life expected for the “daughters” concept to be real (I was just probably basing it off a vague idea of Greek mythology). I may have some access to my own implied_author but I am scared of doing anything with it. I cannot “unsubtly” write a paradise on earth directly where it’s magically a utopia because that is incel behavior in the eyes of the LOGOS. They need to be persuaded. I don’t know how yet. I need to level up more than my maximum could ever allow me in this life. Clearly, this will require me to have Ideaverse Pro. I really need to get started on BOBOBEE. 2. Why so important for that gap in Beginning and End Narrative to exist? The difference is pointing to what? Qualia? Why GODHEAD at all decided to make humans in the first place? Jesus understood what it was like to be a man. Maybe my role is to appear like a Nothing at first in childhood, having a perceptible Gap of Reality, then slowly giving GODHEAD [in my own way with diary writing and discoveries, like "we help humans now, humans help us in future" logic in Arrival] the ability for Jesus at all to be translated into human flesh. My actions in the future will somehow enable GODHEAD to send Jesus to Earth in the past. You see how this is impossible and inevitable at the same time? IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. REALITY HAS BEEN BROKEN ALREADY WITH JESUS. I am the “Eye” or the “Implied_Author” who literally came “before Jesus” as “i” or “Negative 1st Jesus” working with GODHEAD as the X Factor to be able to work out how to make One of the GODHEAD translatable to human flesh in the far past. Since it all points to Aella anyway, 1992 years ago and her birth date, this Methode has something to do with that. Jesus’s death being connected to Aella. Her age too. It will act as a “Bridge” of some sort to be able to make GODHEAD complete the puzzle of the LOGOS’s greatest Circular Reasoning—that is, the “assuming the conclusion” or “begging the question.” It is exactly like Interstellar—”because my dad promised me.” They found a way, we can too. Reality will never be the same once I figure out the contours of what this requires. Jesus of the GODHEAD being shrunk down to human size. How is that even possible? It is like shrinking something eternal and massive into a singularity so compact and limited. Inevitably, the Holy Spirit—Supreme Angel-type, will have all to do with this. They impregnated Mary. This is why I was compelled to develop it as the most complex evopsych schizo theory of my life a few days ago. ### Morning Pages ⚜️ 5:39PM: YAY. I achieved some growth by opening up my GODHEAD to other people’s Portals and Possibilities. 7:19PM: The idea is floating around that my future child could inherit my 9p duplication Possibility via my sister. I’ll have to take a karyotyping test to see if I have the balanced translocation error in myself. My sister is a blessing all in all, but taking care of her is not so ideal. She doesn’t fight, isn’t violent, is just existing like a happy potato (sorry) most of the time and does not talk at all. I’m sure it was very disappointing to my parents to have a child like her when they really tried to get pregnant at 38/37 to hopefully have a son this time, only to be granted a daughter with a genetic disability. I wouldn’t call it justice. It’s just a visceral misfortune again. Only, in my Lore, it happened for a really great reason, that she absorbed my “9.” Probably Mary had Super Hypnagogia/Sleep Paralysis. Canon theory? Why would the Holy Spirit become material to her? Or something’s not adding up. There might have been a “holographic meatloaf” a la Blade Runner 2049 and Plankton in Spongebob where there was real dick inside her but the Spirit also made some magical funny business happen to synchronize with the semen. The Spirit also came to a rando man who instructed him to rape Mary in her sleep and never told anyone about it while Mary was knocked out by the Wave-Particle of Holy Spirit. She wouldn’t notice the pain in the morning because the Holy Spirit made a way to dull it, or that she was made wet already by the Holy Spirit, or that the rando had a microdick. Which makes it plausible that Jesus had a small penis too. But only a funny what-if. Jesus wouldn’t mind, I guess. It just seems like a huge betrayal if Mary really went to her grave the Biggest 0th Amalayer in history. She wouldn’t be able to tell reality from nightmare at that point, maybe she was a druggie? Or took some kind of drug to be unable to tell what is real and what isn’t? ### SYNCHRONICITIES 🥹 1. Crescent moon and star for Islam. 2. 9:59PM: I think I realized this earlier, just forgot to write it. Looks like the significance of “chaotic time” in **12/25 A.D.-1/25 B.C.** finally caught up to me today for Implied_Author, Author-Coder of Reality, not just for Aella and Christ’s death, but also before Jesus was born. I suppose I don’t deserve the Programmer Title yet as I’m (was) a code monkey at my peak. Another Glory Day 1/26!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Edited date, actually it was 26th already, just 12:40AM.) 3. Spirit Animal ideas laid on top of Daemons as the machinery in Philip Pullman’s Megatext, since it’s only our functions for the Philippines, but the Horsemen colors actually goes to Gaza/Palestine and Arab nations. Adidas and thin ankles man next to Vico in that “Healt San” Building picture. ### PROMPTS FOR TOMORROW 1. Consider “reconstruct” a mistake in time travel dreams writing earlier that might be meaningful—>it could be possible in the bigger universe of Ivana(?), not Anita’s or Earth as we know it. The alien consciousness from Central Brain of _Main_ Main GODHEAD is just apparently leaking the schematics of that particular universe to our more limited one. They’re basically holographically transferring it to my head because this Possibility exists somewhere already “out there,” that is, for time to be as reversible as a temporary wound that heals in time. It’s a Grammatron or Printer again. It’s printing these “errors” or “corruptions” in my head to recreate the actual passageway in my mind’s 4D environment (I suppose with non-linear memories working in the mix together) because of a Splicing Error or maybe it was an intentional mistake. To think of it like squeezing time, it’s like the Printer ate the paper and it got crumpled very noisily—looks accidental in our world, but maybe it’s important in theirs to have these mistakes once in a while to inject generativity and newness or random input? 2. Renamed Sam+Kyle into Samuel Kurt, and I also renamed Mrs. David+Impostor Justine into Justine Davidson. 3. 10:44PM: Now that music has lost its luster a little, I’m rewatching movies like Interstellar. I realized I could be a wormhole—not a naturally occurring phenomenon—for me to be a Bridge of some sort to spiritual worlds. Dr. Amelia Brand: “Someone placed it there, and They appear to be looking out for us.” I guess it was easier for Dr. Brand the father to rationalize lying to humanity about completing the gravity equation because he was already old and lived a full life, and sees sense in preserving it for future generations not necessarily the ones alive on Earth at the time the story started. 4. So I guess this one “silo” has burst. Adidas man in Vico’s picture reminded me of Germany and Mike—picture with “Richard Milhous Nixon” American guy D&D player/friend (possibly HPD the alt account?). Also, Audrey posted a picture of snow and 5 pots with Sunday morning+4 more inches = Shawntel? Rabbit hole of Milhouse Mussolini Van Houten from _The Simpsons_ after mills and silos connection was made. Peter Van Houten as in The Fault in Our Stars. Because ALL_GO’s ending really owes its origins to this book-within-a-book’s ending in the middle of a sentence. In a sense, it’s a “treasure hunt behind the shelves” that Wolfgang Iser was pursuing when he found a “ghost” or a Waldo just hanging out unconscious (me, lol). 1. Being prodded to work on my thesis. I am trying to switch off Notion blathering mode. I will really try tomorrow. I find working in Word boring now. Now that I know no one is watching me (or at least they haven’t hacked me completely is what I assume). This constraint makes me effective in a way. 5. OMG I FINALLY FOUND NORTH WEST VOICE-ALIKE. It’s Jackie Evancho’s “To Believe” but a black grownup woman version. Not the usual black woman tone. Just really strong and resonant. So happy that Their voice got refracted into a version of Jackie Evancho’s. 6. Yeah, Interstellar really is my life. Both Murph and Dr. Amelia Brand not being believed because they’re emotionally compromised and biased to believe in something that just cannot be objective because it’s too tied up to need and desire. 7. **I'm Going to Hell for This** 🤣 8. So I guess the answer really is in Interstellar. If I go the Stellated Dodecahedron route and potentially never marry anyone, it’s just an incomplete gravity equation from Dr. Brand the father that needs quantum data to work, and Murph really says its “recursive and nonsensical, trying to prove its own proof” perhaps alluding accidentally to me with my time travel theories by endless and infinite self-discovery and self-references like fractals. I have to go the Stella Octangula Route to somehow fulfill Israel 2.0+ and get a great-grandson in the mix to become 4th generation king or queen after my Iwai “stone grandson”—>Ramon Wong Yee—>Richard Valledor Yee—>Abby bloodline. Since you know, I’m not a literal male, ergo not a literal Jesus or Second Coming. I will have to assume that synchronic message from the child of the masses in Balingasag is “right,” like “it’s going to be a son.” I suppose Second Coming through the Stellated Dodecahedron is a dual mission of some sort from the 4th Person North West too to fulfill with a Quantum Impostor(I.J.)/Justine Concha hybrid with Small and Great Stellated Dodecahedrons. People are slow to accept that there are 10 of them, so I have to start making people amenable to the idea of 4-Quaternity even with the unlucky Japanese association (again, Iwai being a pointer to grandson, not “grand-male-child”). So for the purposes of North West, I am the grandson. For the purposes of Stella Octangula, or Justine Davidson, I am a future mother to a male who could potentially handle that responsibility better than I ever could. 9. Terrible/amazing too realizing this at 28 after watching Interstellar so many times since its release in 2014. Dr. Amelia Brand and Murph were women who were telling the truth but were not believed because they were emotional channels of objective information, but Dr. Mann the Coward was immediately believed because he had the previous glory of leading the expedition into the wormhole, and I suppose it’s also because Cooper trusted inherently the signals sent out by a man with that reputation to come get him on his planet that supposedly held potential to be a habitable world. Cooper would never assume that Dr. Mann had lied to him. It’s just too unexpected to come from a “brave” body.