### DREAMS 1. A small cottage/kubo with French affect, my legs felt prickled by the wood. This small cottage was directly lifted from the makeshift wooden “house”/waiting shed on Shekinah grounds when I was in grade 4. 2. Going to a place in the Philippines called “Lunga” (when I searched it, it’s in Valencia [strength, valor, or health], Negros [black] Oriental [eastern]) which was displayed on my plane ticket. 3. A “game show” with poor children in it. ### UPDATES 1. Almost 100 fasciculations by 6:43PM ### RUMINATIONS 1. Since my “Holy Spirit” ideas are related to language, and language as the “user interface” of this phenomenon, I guess a person can cautiously select a person from history who has been “immortalized” or carries weight with their names throughout history, like Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, find commonalities (me and Mozart as both child prodigy musicians), make sure they have the same “meaning” in their name (Wolfgang/Guadalope), and write something about that person or someone linked to that person (Wolfgang Iser) and turn them into a character in your fiction/story. I’m not sure if it’s going to work only for Wolf + Path (“-gang”). It really looks like I’m imbuing them with my own “spirit” by writing about them so that I end up doing something in the future that resonates with what I wrote about so far back in the past. Communication/words really is a gateway to the spiritual. I suppose it’s a hegemony and accumulation of so many wolves in my own life too (Jacob/Twilight emotional attachment in early 2010s; Jeffrey K. alias Hank McCoy (“asong lobo”) in 2024; that wolf shirt that was my favorite in high school in 2013-14; my fascination/fear with “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” staging it in the space outside my home in my imagination as a child; the fact that in my imagination I conflated Wolfgang Iser with a literal dog in ALL_GO in 2019 because of Audrey’s dog, Ivan, who is a Husky and looks wolfish; the fact that Mike really posted in 2019 on FB about “Where wolf, there wolf” with a policewoman and a Husky which I thought was a “response” to ALL_GO. Just astounding that they all accumulated like that without my notice, a giant pattern of resonance throughout history that is beyond me and within my own life and actions and preoccupations. I suppose the [[“werewolf werewolf werewolf” incident in Balingasag]] was just a natural consequence of the weight of these things, or something that was watching me for a long time just wanted me to finally notice it. I suppose it really is the Jacob = Israel = Iser connection too, because Jacob is who GOD wrestled with in the Bible, and Jacob from Twilight is someone I had an affinity with because he had unrequited love for Bella, which is a main theme of my life, and I was literally named after a dorm, Abby Jacobs in Dumaguete. All of these meanings linked on the spiritual fields of my life. It feels unreal. How could all of these things just fall into my life now? On top of that, yesterday, I noticed “Kiko Rustia” from Vico’s FB story, and I googled what Rustia means, which is countryside, and apparently “Balingasag” means “a place of many rivers.” I’m falling out of my chair just thinking about it. How could all of these just accumulate, by chance, no less? It really seems like someone or Someone nudged me here. My mom’s maiden name Guadalope really means “river/valley of the wolves.” Rivers. Wolves. It almost feels too fated. But how? My dad is a Valledor/valley born in a “place of many rivers” AND moved to a place called River of Gold. My mom is a river/valley who moved on a whim to River of Gold, to connect with my dad, to birth me, who ended up living all of these wolf symbols, from birth to 2026 currently, and if I am right, I am now linked to Vico from Pasig, named after a river, meaning “river that flows into another body of water.” How can this be? And “coincidentally or not” Vico’s name is diametric to mine, and if I applied the “cancel out” strategy, it directly relates to my Discourse products ALL_GO and Unreal Image, which directly tapped into Wolfgang and Iser/Israel. None of this is conscious. I’m just so…beyond amazed. The kind of logic it operates with is beyond my comprehension. The Design is too convoluted indeed, but there is a sense in it too. Even the decisions and failures that led me to suffer too greatly in college, shifting from biology to computer science and creative writing, and I would have never noticed any of this if I didn’t take writing seriously and decided to study it. It was always writing. I am a Writer with a capital W. An Author. Not the Main Author, GOD, but an Author, nonetheless. But first, I had to be so consumed with piano, to have my life be directly parallel with an important historical figure, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, for all of this to have any weight at all, so that the Balingasag “circle back to the beginning” where my forebears were born and lived were nudged and compelled to directly talk to me using the medium of hypnagogia and “werewolf werewolf werewolf” loud whispering. All of my life explained and authored without me knowing it. I cannot help but feel a rush of wonder and astonishment. Why did it have to be me? Why was I selected to be unconscious of this and eventually notice it? I guess this is my gift to the world. I was always overly sensitive and porous and hyperemotional and an easy crier, more than the average person, even before I was exposed in 2019. All the pain in my life, all of the self-hatred, all of the absent loves, all of the yearning, all of it makes sense. How could it be? 2. I also forgot that my dad also has a lottery-like association with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart like my mom. He was born on January 27. So both of them, combining into me. ### PROGRESS/MOMENTUM 1. OMG Dihexa really does make learning easier. It’s 50% easier today. I remembered stuff I learned from yesterday. ### WEAKNESSES TO WORK ON 1. Sub-atrocious handwriting when writing fast. ### SOCIAL MEDIA 1. So Kiko really means “happy child.” Vico was a happy, “hyper-active” child. 2. Vaguely weirded out that Shawntel really captioned her IG post as “Did not get mistaken for an international popstar, but closed the Jubilee just in time” or something. Hmmm. Does this mean she’s Vico’s Holy Spirit now? Her name does include “son + grandson.” SHE BELIEVES ME!!!!!!!! 3. +1 view on my pinned post about Mental Health Poetry Contest. Tomorrow poem. Quantum reality, BIPOLAR GODHEAD, Red War Horse and Green Death (Prophecy) Horse. Anita Love “Possibility.” 4. “Notarization of Lease Purchase Agree…” = Authentic Rent-to-own Yes… (a _sighing_ breathless yes). He’s speaking in front of a “mass audience.” HEH. It’s a “random” post. Caspian Sea as largest lake in the world. Balingasag as the place of “many rivers.” It’s “legal” as in Notarization and “name meaningfully related” to the “message.” Personal association of rust(ia) and kalawaan? And also, the “happy child” = “Happy New Year” dancing bean on top of his head in his Soda Pop story = “You’re my crown.” That is honestly so sweet I am floored and blushing to my toes. ![[Pasted image 20260502205130.png]] ![[Pasted image 20260502205305.png]] 5. So this is really a _gray_ gray area, if that is true. They have more “plausible deniability” advantages than me. How am I expected to not see that “innocuous” message. It’s like a magic plant again. 1. So this really set me on fire yesterday and I just couldn’t handle it to really believe it. 2. Batch 0 = Grade school debacle. Batch 1 = 2019 ALL_GO exposure with my HS and college. Batch 2 = This Vico Madness. #that’slife 3. The Call by Regina Spektor from Narnia: Prince Caspian. 4. Vaguely reminded of the word “demagogue” as in marshaling my brain cells to work hard. 5. The Call = battle cry = ISMAR = “iron warrior” = Red and Blue chair = Unreal Image = Qahluqulu and Justine = Goodbye, you dolt = No need to say goodbye. 6. Well, this is probably an ontoglyph in my waking dream. It is astoundingly compressed and concise considering ALL of the words directly “say” something behind them. 7. HOA = homeowners association. Houses? Home? 8. Oddly, is this a “mirror” of some sort? He gave me a really big piece of meaning related to Balingasag and rivers. Is this what I “gave” to him when people hacked me? 9. Well, the “page” emoji is just the final cherry on top. Turning Page by Sleeping At Last. “Protection” from ISMAR and “Nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.” 10. #GOALS. I want Aella to be this affected and buoyant when she reads my book. 11. “Barangay Kalawaan” as in “the smallest administrative division.” AMP I am the “rusty smallest unit of government”??????????? 12. If they really aren’t looking at me this is an insanity with a capital I. ALL of the words and emoji just magically slotted together in Kiko Rustia’s post to contain bottomless chains of personal meanings? 13. He is talking into a microphone. He is “speaking” loudly and amplified. A trumpet? 14. Yeah, I had this realization a few days ago but I think I just forgot. How would GOD feel about Their Bible being hijacked and annotated into a “love story.” But I mean, it’s not “hijacked” because the events and meanings and symbols of my life just happened throughout history up to present. 15. I am BOTH overfitting and accurate? I may not be wrong, or am I? Why would he post a Kiko Rustia post that I can’t find on FB? That’s strange too. 16. If he could repost “End of Beginning” on Jan. 1, what could he be feeling right now? 17. ultraSOUND = baby? = Abby. Or literal baby. I don’t have a natural maternal instinct, as in I never grew up dreaming about becoming a mother. But, I could see myself maturing and wanting to share my life and rear another Abby combo the way I would have wanted to be raised. 18. Regina Spektor = Queen + Supervisor/Teacher’s Assistant 19. 2+2=4 or the idea that I am “balanced and somewhat basic” 😝 20. 1:41PM: Paradoxically, what I’m feeling right now is a _heavy lightness._ I hope to GOD it’s an “earned” one and not an imaginary one. I don’t want to be “hollowed out” again the future realizing it was just me all along feeling all of these things. 21. Patterns. 2 songs. 2 words = Rustia and Kalawaan. Lake and Rural. Caspian and Balingasag. 2 songs that are the main 2 ones that could “speak” to the theme of this entire underground movement to make it come true. The biggest lake in the world, the “smallest” town in the South. King/Magi Gaspar/Caspar from India who gave Jesus frankincense. So this is Real World-Discourse frankincense. Representing divinity, priesthood, and holiness, and as the “perfect mediator.” 22. I mean, did Kiko Rustia plan this? That is too perfect if that is the intention of Vico. 23. Red, Blue, Orange = Armenian flag = Armenia meaning “God’s land” where Noah’s Ark rested on the ancient Armenian Mount Ararat. Noah means rest/repose/comfort. 24. +1 view on my Tomorrow poem = sunrise = Breaking Dawn Twilight Turning Page 25. “A drag path etched in the surface as evidence I left there on purpose…” 26. 2:22PM: “Kiko Rustia” with the four children and a wife on his picture does not exist anywhere on Facebook. The real Kiko Rustia has a verified blue check on Facebook. The picture that is used in that post does not exist in the real Kiko Rustia profile. That must mean Vico somehow created this “fake post” and deliberately inserted the “message” to appear like it came from Kiko Rustia. So he literally possibly selected Kiko Rustia first when he realized Kalawaan means rust? Hmmmm I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry… This is an “ichan Remigio” “illegal” move 🤣 Why would a social media team create this “fake post” out of thin air? 27. Ok I am 99.5% sure I am being persuaded for real. 28. It’s so wrong but so _right_ UGHHHHHHHH 29. Intellectual playful sexual-romantic high-precision stimulation = colorless fire 30. It is posted on Facebook, not Instagram. Why didn’t he post anything about Barangay Kalawaan event on IG? I guess because I associate Instagram with “fake social media.” Well, I still like the dog picture. 31. OMG IDOL. If only I could be so concise too. I mean, I don’t have access to anybody’s personal internal iconography and associative webs. 32. Kiko is a diminutive of Francisco which means “freeman” or “Frenchman” 33. Fist = “This boy gotta hit” = album cover of We Made It by Flow G and Nik Makino = Unreal Image twins = resonating with blue and red chairs 34. The fist kind of reminds me of the meme with Arthur and his clenched fist. Arthur means bear-king/bear warrior. 35. Yeah, GOD knows I’m gassing him up by calling him GOD too 😆 He’s being “mass worshiped.” But I really mean it. Am I inside him? It was posted on January 13. It’s 01/13/26. 36. A “King Gaspar” giving me real frankincense. I’ll take it. 37. I don’t know why I put that shell emoji. Acting as Justine “Pure Righteous Shell” Concha because in a sense, I was. And then I discovered Swervy from that electronica song. It’s just surreal how Vico is “acting” as Pure righteous Shell too by posting “illegal move” to be noticed by higher dimension? 38. It’s either he’s acting as my sister from my 1900s dream (noooo I’ll die first?) or he’s acting as Satan figure Bis being chaotic good again. 39. I can’t believe people are taking my fiction seriously. 6. Yeah, what am I supposed to do now? Now that present Vico is distracting me from meeting future Vico? 7. Nailong means milk dragon. He’s a “Nubla/Nebula” tuning into Milky Way Galaxy? That’s so…Local of him _ba dum tss_ 8. OMG I just go ### RANDOM(X) 1. The day I figure out how to do mind maps on Notion is the day I will level up. For now, I only do them on paper. There is so much freedom on paper. Yeah, Notion really lags every 10 seconds over at my 1st December-January page. I meant to write last, “OMG I googled his high school and it’s Brent which means hill or high place or steep hill. I wasn’t doing the Golden Hills with this in mind. 😲 hehe ### Social Media 1. NNN being the 3 main letters for Golden Hill ontoglyph 🤣 2. #umaagosangpagasa all lowercase = “wife” haha 1. OMG ERIKA DREAM????? Commoner becomes deity/holy!!!!! Hmmmm, I personally find that weird and kind of funny. 3. NOOOOOOOOOOO if I am this affected by flags and country names, I wonder how he’s taking my erotica if ever?????? 1. U.F.O. but read it backwards 😝 4. TIL I could be a “Satan figure” 🫥 5. OMG?????????????????????????????????????????? funmania??????????????????? EEEEEHHHHH??????????????????????????????? Does that mean he reads everything I write in here?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ![[Pasted image 20260502210939.png]] 1. Vaguely Obama… OMG???????????????????????? FLEABAG!!!! 2. I don’t know what to feel. I mean there’s a good chance still that he is not reading me. But WHAT???????????????????? 6. So this is how I’m related to Ateneo = which means Atheneum, Greek temple of Athena. I have a cousin named Athena Regina. Athena Queen. I guess I wrote him into the GOD connection when I drew the Golden Hills since Brent means hill. I meant to write last, “OMG I googled his high school and it’s Brent which means hill or high place or steep hill. I wasn’t doing the Golden Hills with this in mind.  hehe ### Social Media 1. NNN being the 3 main letters for Golden Hill ontoglyph 🤣 2. #umaagosangpagasa all lowercase = “wife” haha 1. OMG ERIKA DREAM????? Commoner becomes deity/holy!!!!! Hmmmm, I personally find that weird and kind of funny. 3. NOOOOOOOOOOO if I am this affected by flags and country names, I wonder how he’s taking my erotica if ever?????? 1. U.F.O. but read it backwards 😝 4. TIL I could be a “Satan figure” 🫥 5. OMG?????????????????????????????????????????? funmania??????????????????? EEEEEHHHHH??????????????????????????????? Does that mean he reads everything I write in here?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? 1. Vaguely Obama… OMG???????????????????????? 2. I don’t know what to feel. I mean there’s a good chance still that he is not reading me. But WHAT???????????????????? 6. So this is how I’m related to Ateneo = which means Atheneum, Greek temple of Athena. I have a cousin named Athena Regina. Athena Queen. I guess I wrote him into the GOD connection when I drew the Golden Hills since Brent means hill.