### **MORNING PAGES** <aside> 😝 Excruciatingly 5-star </aside> 1. Accretion of meaning from “not from Instagram” i.e. “not fake” visit from Venezuela (Maduro?) at 10:00AM yesterday, minutes after I said something about my Golden Hills drawing. A densely-packed neutron star again. How do people manage to do this? I will always be in awe. 2. Use the optical phenomenon of “glory” in Unreal Image. 3. My use of AI in Unreal Image is actually deliberate. I am arguing for real human effort because I personally think “Printer” (which is how I conceive Demiurge) is so much easier on the mind than Grammatron. 4. My Bose QC35 ANC headphones are failing, depleting battery very quickly. I don’t want to upgrade yet. 5. Even if he used “group effort” in Louis Armstrong Congratulations “Rise again,” “No song can bring me back to life” panda news (Covered Geekly selected the song), this is subtly still an argument that hivemind advantage is effective and does not take away from his own effort (the pun? Did he come up with that? That is brilliant.). 6. I got charged by Audible yesterday for about 800 pesos because I forgot to cancel it. I am willing to see this as a sign to work on my auditory processing disorder. It seems like I would benefit greatly if I literally heard the rhythm of words to enhance my natural gift. 7. _Pretends to not be turned on by the idea that he is more flexible/kinky because he suggested that I use my red and green in the flag_ 🤡 8. Weird uplift: I am somehow warm today physically even with aircon. I do not feel cold at all. My hypothyroid is healing? Where is this heat coming from? I didn’t do anything different? 9. I cannot hate my previous school-church ministry that was at a significant disadvantage than Oro Christian. They are, in a sense, like me too. They use American pride to shore up the fact that they have no budget for quality education. Nearly all their teachers were rejects from better schools. With everything that they did to me and did not do to me, they gave me the meaningful connection to GOD. They were literally named Shekinah Glory and “The Way” Christian ministry. Path. Wolf + path. 10. Even in blurry pictures he’s irresistible. 11. Existing in that non-binary quantum state of not being able to tell if you feel romantic or sexual but something that transcends both = I just can’t. Whenever it happens it literally sets me on fire. Not literally. Almost literally. Fire destroys. This one is positive chaos. 12. I don’t think people could game it in the way they think. If you deliberately use name meanings in fiction or in “messages” they craft to control reality? I’m not quite sure if being fully conscious of what you’re doing is going to increase your luck. What happened with me and all of my work is that I just discovered their name meanings in hindsight, and I was just really lucky I gravitated to those names. Unnaturally controlling it might result in something you can’t predict or control. I suppose I have more fear than the average “___” (haven’t thought of a name for the people who have _Folie à deux_ (French for "madness of two") and who are using it and believe me). There are always going to be principles and rules and “Police” maybe. I suppose using my own unconscious barometer for selecting names is enough for me for now. I go by vibes and personal associations. 13. “Take care of your heart for me?” 🥺 14. You were in “high school” and he thanked the “SDO officer” re: his real opinion on “me”? 15. If a post has a particular name, connects meaningfully to the post after you figure out the meaning, maybe that’s “legal”? 16. “Sex”: origin of word literally “secare” meaning divide/cut/division of humans in two categories. WHATTTTTT. I said something about cutting reality in two and putting it back together. The mystery of why GOD created sex in the first place. The mystery of the BIPOLAR GODHEAD inner unity of both working as one whole. Speculate: the “binaries” within the BIPOLAR GODHEADS are “married” or “joined into one.” Our conception of Father may be lacking. They were right about “Sophia.” • **Divine Personification:** Sophia is described as a feminine spirit, present with God before creation, the "master worker" through whom God made the world, and the source of true understanding, as seen in Wisdom literature (Proverbs, Wisdom of Solomon). 1. I always gravitated towards this name even though I didn’t know the meaning of this name. Maybe I will name my Angel_Hoe daughter/mother Sophia/Sophie/Sofia. 2. I saw that movie Eye Origins. Such _aesthetic_. The-one-who-died was called “Sophie.” Something about Eastern/Indian religion and reincarnation. 3. If I had a daughter maybe I’d name her Sophia. It’s such a pretty name. Even though I hate that character in a full-blown student-teacher relationship in Devotion: A Story of Love and Desire. 4. LOL. Conception of Big Bang as “ejaculation.” But literally nobody knows what happened before that. Something “pleasurable” must have caused it. Who They are or what they did is the biggest mystery of all, probably. 5. Unending curiosity about the Venn diagram of what God the “Father” and God the “Mother” are about. If they have no literal bodies, what separates them from each other? What do they have in common? Where do they differ? It is extremely important to know. Even if poly sex or threesomes are possible, those are “side” quests and people do not get pregnant from being penetrated in the ass. Only two people can realistically have sex and have a possible viable pregnancy. Only TWO. Lends support to BIPOLAR GODHEAD theory. Seems like my life was always about turning bipolar anyway. Identifying as “they” even if I didn’t have a word for it yet. 17. Absorb the idea that you are a Sidekick or merely a Four-star General. Keeps you grounded. You are not the HEROES. Temptation to bask in specialness. Why? Avoiding work again. People in authority should work for their title. The hardest, preferably. 18. AMP!!!!!!!!! Visit at 7AM and 12PM. 1. I AM NOW BIPOLAR HEPTAPOD, REJOINER OF WORLDS - **12 Ships, 12 Parts:** Twelve monolithic alien ships, nicknamed "shells," appear at different locations worldwide, each holding a piece of the communication puzzle. - **The Message:** The Heptapods' circular, logogram-based language contains numerical/symbolic references to "one of twelve," indicating the need for all nations to combine their data to understand the full message. - **The Goal:** The aliens need humanity's help in the future, and their "weapon" (the language) is a tool to alter human perception of time, fostering unity and advanced thought. - **The Discovery:** Physicist Ian Donnelly identifies the mathematical constant 1/12 (0.08333...) within the alien script, linking the individual pieces of data to the total number of ships. 1. _breathes heavily_ their names tho… 2. Accretion. 19. Find things that discourage tumor growth. Hopefully, they will have better treatments in the future. 20. Psalm 119: praise for God’s law/Assembly language? HEH. So, those three points above the Golden Hills? I have no clue how to continue. I need help. Three words like “TTKS” that could be meaningfully accreted to something about it. Pop culture is apparently behind my “influence” simply because I am working with ideas many people have seen and loved and paid money for. 21. Somebody was right/observant about me being contradictorily turned on/uncomfortable with being called “baby.” I realize now it’s a term of endearment and has nothing to do with real babies, so I’m no longer disturbed. The idea of calling him daddy is sexy, if he likes it, and basically I have solved this problem too by thinking “somebody else’s dad” or “dad bod” and/or my “babies’ daddy.” 22. GG! G!! 23. Huh. What? So it’s “objectively” proven that child sexual abuse is one of the worst ways to get fucked in life, the pursuit of a perverted adult of maximum pleasure for little to no regard for true innocence, and that suffering for the sins of pedophiles even though you are innocent (a child) breaks reality somehow? Strange that Psalm 119 reference. 1. Basically, I “killed” Mike too for “their” sins in 2022, but he wasn’t completely innocent. 24. No dreams recalled from yesterday or today. My parents told me that I sleep-talked on Sunday while walking to the dinner table about “God’s message” but I totally forgot what I said to them. Oh well. 25. In nuclear engineering, critical mass is the _**minimum mass of the fissile material needed for a sustained nuclear chain reaction**_ in a particular setup. GO NUCLEAR ON WORK. 26. You are not dumb when writing fiction. You manage to write erotica seamlessly combining desire + intention + thought + dialogue + action. # FIRE UP YOUR BUTT!!! STRANGE HORIZONS FICTION OPENING JAN. 19!!! <aside> ✝️ The girl died and spoke his groanings, the boy imaged and lived him out. </aside> THINGS TO DO - [ ] Figure out/speculate rules and limits of Grammatrons/Printers. I’m taking it seriously now. I cannot quite believe that I crash-landed on that tiny intuition in Unreal Image when I really said, “She was just lucky her name is Justine meaning justice.” Even though I wasn’t even thinking directly about how name meanings affect reality or their full implications. # ASK AI 1. Very specific targeted feedback about why you think you remember some things really easily and why others not. Ask about how to optimize technique tailored to your own brain and not the gurus’ methods. # CRAFT 1. If you keep re-reading and applying external force-meets-input The Hunger Games trilogy you will eventually get a good and accurate gestalt of her style and voice and technique. You do not have to memorize every single example or finesse application (or you can, but maybe that would be overkill—maybe do this for supremely great examples). 2. Someday I’m going to write a story about what a person is like falling in love. It’s an accretion of interlocking falls. You are just going to be shocked sometimes, but also it feels like a slow collapse. I can’t be objective about it. Do I need to be? That person’s behavior will not be pleasant if they are selfish, but it will likely imbue a good person with such richness that it just enhances everything that is already good about them. 3. Optical glory 4. Assume you are competent. Your ideal reader needs salvation. Emotional glory vibe. # CATCY WORDPLAY/PUNS/COPY 1. Lover. Fighter. Slave. Enemy. Coach. Friend. Partner. ## SOCIAL MEDIA 1. Angel Priest/Holy Spirit King re: 2+2 IG view ### **PROGRESS / MOMENTUM** 1. **17 index cards back-to-back by 3:33PM** ### PERSONAL BEST/PERSONAL RECORD 1. The magic of the song that’s so “fizzy” materialized into my Top 1 orgasm of my life so far. If I keep winning at this rate I’ll be in heaven tomorrow. ### WEAKNESSES TO WORK ON: 1. Completely forgetting crucial task you earmarked to get energy, getting armodafinil from mom before she leaves for work, while you get distracted by listening to emotional music. This is not a light problem. IT IS AN EXTREMELY SERIOUS PROBLEM. You absolutely threw away the “prospective memory” of taking medication before the huge consequence, i.e. mom leaving before she gives you medication. Good thing she remembered to give it to you after you mentioned it at breakfast. You failed to remember the real consequence of not having any mental energy and cognitive bandwidth for the entire day (or at least before she returns for lunch). 2. DRINK WATER EVERY END OF HOUR.