I really wish I could get started on work. I’ve been in vacation mode since Nov 14 ended. I really feel like they’re reading me today. Jeffrey’s AURORA post from September. Like, she the “fairy of pop” reminding me that Maleficent is actually a fairy. I have no idea why Jeffrey chose to “seen” me today when I sent that message last November 13. Yeah. I heard he quit his job since BYD is now looking for a new admin supervisor and his LinkedIn page says he’s back to being a computer technician. Maybe he’s just sad today. I don’t know if I should respond or not. He’s probably testing me if I would overwhelm him again with messages after I get a little “affirmation” of him seeing my message just like last time it happened. Well, I don’t know what to say to him anyway. If he wanted to message me, he would. Why am I always the one expected to initiate stuff? I feel like I’m the one who’s more interested. He’s never had to put in any real effort to make our connection more than it is. He never even seemed curious about me. Now he’s posting about AURORA who I heard is autistic. What is he trying to do? Thankfully my fever disappeared before it could turn into anything worse. I’ve been vegetating today. That is all I did. But yesterday I did exercise for 20 minutes, and immediately after that I felt the fever coming on. Maybe I really do have ME/CFS. Post-exertional malaise that just happened after I exerted myself. Not normal. I should try exercising for longer to see if it happens again. Then I’ll really know my body has deteriorated. GREAT. More complication. I’m just cringing at the amount of effort I put in our situationship. I offered to buy him candy. I gave him two nudes. I was really curious about him. I tried attending to what I thought were his emotional needs. All of that wasn’t enough to make him sustain anything, and he even said our sporadic interactions weren’t enough to have something more. He said this in August 2024. Before I gave him nudes. Yeah. I don’t know if it changed anything. He really isn’t the type to become infatuated, is he? He’s not romantic. I feel like I want a guy who’s at least willing to play with romance. All of this complication, I find myself divided into two. Jeffrey or Vico. I wish I thought of my goals more. What’s worse is that Vico seemingly responded to my FB post about granny Santa by posting about Magokoro facility. Another lightning strike. What am I supposed to do? My delusional self wants to overread into everything. Maybe AURORA is his way of saying I’m “Sleeping Beauty” aka my post about Barbie sleeping > Princess Anneliese from that Barbie movie where she falls in love with her tutor who lives in a room because he couldn’t afford a house. I can’t function like this. I need to start working again. I can’t snap out of it. I recently bought Atomoxetine and while it really makes me feel alert, I can’t seemingly concentrate on the right things. I have so many tasks piling up. I just need an email from Ma’am Marby. It’s December 7. Still nothing. I wonder what’s happening to her. I feel like Jeffrey really stopped talking to me because I sent him that other guy’s looking for a roommate. Someone who looks eerily like him and who’s a “Tito of Marikina” or something.