## Morning Pages Well, my momentous December 1 went swimmingly 😒…a disaster. I went ahead and fell asleep the whole day. I must have slept 15 hours or so. And then it happened, I actually fucking dreamt about UP!!!! And MIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And this lady prof girl who everybody is under—Anita Love or something. Even higher rank than Prof. Ancheta. And she’s a young and beautiful woman. Weird. I’m not even obsessed with Mike anymore, so why? Maybe it’s me finally getting over Jeffrey. I also cried in a dream about Power Puff Girls analogue. Like a really poignant friendship arc between two of the five girls where this one girl is being hounded by others. And there was this dream about me being paranoid about other people seeing me change through the glass walls. Strange strange dream. Oddly external feeling in that it’s narrative is oddly coherent as if it happened to another version of me. 9:30AM and I already ingested 150mg Armoda. Still sleepy. One of my faraway goals is like in two or three years Jeffrey realizes it was a mistake he let me go. Then he’s gonna be like, “Hello, I know what I did to you blah blah blah. Would you be open to giving me another chance to make it up?” And then I’ll pretend to be guarded and shit (because I am, given I know what he’s capable of) and see where it goes. But I’ll never take him seriously. That is, unless he proves he’s changed. For someone who has two pressing deadlines, I’m oddly chill about it. Maybe some part of me has given up. LOL I AM SO CLOSE THOUGH. Every iteration of me bruteforced her way so I could live this semi-oasis period where I’m not doing mind-numbing things for classes I couldn’t care less about. My two courses are actually very interesting and relevant and yet I can’t summon the motivation to follow through. OH FUCK OH SHIT FUCK!!!!!!! OH LAWDY MY POEM!!!! 12:25PM!!!! Got the email I’ve been looking forward to and daydreaming about!!!! A STRANGE HORIZONS ACCEPTANCE!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOORAY TO ME I DID IT!!!!!!