### **Morning Pages** 1:15: Haven’t felt this much KILIG over a song. OMG!!! “Lovebomb” by The Neighborhood’s got me feeling some type of way, even though I’m a jaded joyless sack of shit. I need to write a story about it!!! It’s called cursebreaker / Cursebreaker / CURSEBREAKER! where this couple tries to do underhanded unhinged shit to get the other to say “I love you” first. Whether in sex, try to make the other curse, or try to make the other say “I love you.” Yeah, they’re both deconstructing Christians who are experimenting with premarital sex. But how do I set it in a sci-fi setting? The ultimate “CURSEBREAKER!” is them becoming one hivemind!!! NEVER BE LONELY EVER. High time to write erotica again. Who knows what market will want it, but I’m writing it!!!! I have submitted to 42 places or prizes this month. Counted. Then it’s been a year since I subbed Chaos to places when it was a half-baked piece of shit. I cannot wait to get real feedback on it. And improve my skills after writing Mirrored. Imagine, I sent out 42 hooks for the universe/GOD/them to see and latch onto. I must get at least 1. Please. Make that 43. Today I will try weightlifting again. I’ve heard muscle training is beneficial for brains somehow. That muscle-to-brain connection. I will also try working out long. I just miss being active and having that BDNF afterglow. OMG I love it when my characters are more clever and wittier than me. Like, go live out my dreams man! Did the mature transcendental thing to compliment Kate’s writing and bringing up the fact that she’s a natural even though she isn’t a creative writing student and hasn’t been bleeding out emotionally that I know of just from writing. Which is true, she is a natural. She seems to know the right words to use. And not just simple words. Idiomatic words. I wish I still had that. 6:07PM: Exhausted to my limit after 7.5 minutes of exercise. WTF? At least I tried. I also meditated for 15 minutes. 10:49PM: Constantly recharging gadgets because of planned obsolescence. Mighty inconvenient. My mood has been steadily lifting. I can’t tell if it’s because of anything in particular. It must be the glut of Omega 3 oils I’ve been ingesting. Like I’ve never felt this much stable and happy even though I don’t have everything I want. Jeffrey, if you can see this, people miss you posting!!!! ANYTHING. Added prangkahan story and Berggruen essay to my projects. I forgot about them. Even though I have about 5 months (unless I have an extra year, no one can tell me how the rules work about it) before I’m edged out of qualifying for the Astounding Award.