## Morning Pages Last night was rough. I woke up at least twice; once, I was jolted awake by, of all things, a nightmare. It was about a group of students in a Civics class who wanted to challenge a teacher, or maybe this was the general vibe, going off on their own towards these boats/canoes. They got on and disappeared from my view and I closed the door behind them, only, I noticed a menacing group of crocodiles who looked so beefy and stacked that they looked almost cartoonish. I got so scared and panicked and what’s worse is that the door was flimsy, and it didn’t close all the way. I got the feeling that I was going to be attacked and killed. Then I concluded the crocodiles ate my “friends.” I woke up after that. I couldn’t help but straight-shoot into the implications—that those crocodiles are actually stand-ins for rich people because of “Civics” class. I should watch my back, or some such. Then the second dream was about an airport. I got the feeling that Vanessa was there. There were these white people who were walking out of the airplane. I couldn’t help but feel validated that my brain is working—you know, airport, reinforcement of yesterday’s story-building improv exercise. And the schizophrenia voices effort to memorize it verbatim. Got on Reddit and bumungad sa akin on r/changemyview yung post about porn and sex toys. I have to start somewhere, and what better way than my old fixation? As long as I’m constantly improving, right? Spend 4 minutes in red zone yesterday with HIIT. Today it’s 8 minutes. I still had trouble recalling what phosphorylation does and NMDA receptors apparently getting denser because of the BDNF spikes. Crucial for synaptic plasticity and memory encoding. I made the mistake of absorbing the wrong meaning—magnesium doesn’t actually raise threshold for calcium. It’s the exercise question I asked and its effects on NMDA. I also got confused about threshold and ceiling. **Balancing excitotoxic risk** - Despite increasing NMDA activity, exercise also **enhances antioxidant systems** and increases **astrocyte glutamate clearance**. - So instead of tipping you toward excitotoxicity, it “raises the ceiling safely” → stronger signals without frying neurons. ### Magnesium - **Effect**: - Naturally sits _inside_ NMDA receptor channels at rest, blocking them. - Prevents overactivation from random or excessive glutamate (excitotoxicity). - During a **strong signal** (depolarization), magnesium pops out → allows calcium influx → LTP. - **Net**: _Raises the threshold_ so only meaningful signals get through. - **Risk?** If over-supplemented → excessive dampening → sluggishness, mild brain fog. ## THOUGHTS ? AXIOMS ? INTENTIONS 1. It is 11:11 AM and I’m beginning to read this book about arguments. I am also slightly procrastinating. I am young hat at this, ## PROGRESS / MOMENTUM 1. Rememorized Interstellar passage 2. It took me 30m or so to memorize—and not even clearly—these 15 sentence patterns in order. Granted, I hadn’t taken breakfast yet. 3. Noticed an improvement in word recall and phrasing. 4. I also noticed that I just have more thoughts in general, though I hope it’s not excitotoxic. 5. I made a joke on FB, “gotta be vigilant, even against himself.” I’m a little proud of that one lol. ## TASKS - [ ] Add table notes to Notion - [ ] Ask GPT to help me spot opportunity and increase luck which is really just timing and preparation. - [ ] Brainstorm TikTok videos: imagine yourself paraphrasing this content, then add, deform, contrast, associate, elaborate, examine, recast, infect with new or old - [ ] Since it’s a contrast day today. Reread Eng 1 paper. Repeat what it is that you already did yesterday - look instantly at association behind a word whether a person, object, emotion. Question, add, debate, elaborate, notice, observe, chunk, deform, bring in a new perspective or social tidbit from your own past - [ ] Your disappearing tabs probably expire tomorrow. Get on it. - [ ] Download books on tabs, Kazuo Ishiguro, Cloud Atlas, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - [ ] Really get neck deep into clarity and rigor whether in essay or story - [ ] Regularly back up to Notion. Everything hinges on your property existing. - [ ] Respond to parents shared posts in messages - [ ] Ask GPT about social reward - [ ] Ask GPT about how to avoid “schizo” vibe in your experimentation - [ ] Ask GPT about how to avoid being obscure “schizo” or far-out theories that no one can resonate with. Is it a case of daisy chaining or piggy-backing onto common emotions? - [ ] Great exercise: try to “predict” what you’ll dream about. Dunno, just occurred to me if there’s any correlation or exchange between what you’re able to predict in the dream while awake and what your dreams predict for you in real life, there might be something. I don’t know what yet. Maybe a synchronization. - [ ] Ask GPT what makes some people funny or witty—do their brains just connect to more synapses or their brains make one technique applicable or transferable to other contexts that may be novel. - [ ] Turn Gender by Connell into Anki deck, Read Gender Connell - [ ] Clarity Berggruen - [ ] CW 199: A vehicle to argue—story about why you’re drawn to fiction—less direct way of persuasion. Why diary—it handles the theme—the theme about exposure, vulnerability. Most concerned about theme. Intention allows you more control. - [ ] Find that infographic about levels of learning on iPad - [ ] Train AI to talk you through as a coach for fast thought micro-games and associative word-ends beginnings, debate about various topics, humor, social scripts, informal and formal logic. - [ ] Backread journals and papers. Especially your antinet attempt. - [ ] You need to buy real butyrate. As in tributyrin. Serotonin. 100 million neurons. - [ ] Download books on tabs, Kazuo Ishiguro, Cloud Atlas, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - [ ] Really get neck deep into clarity and rigor whether in essay or story - [ ] Memory Craft - [ ] Ask GPT about how to make sure your virtual reps are as real or as practical as real-life experience. Ask about what makes real-life experience more sticky or effective. - [ ] Shrinking pools of new knowledge where AI can’t participate. Ask what domains are least likely to be swarmed by AI-enhanced people. - [ ] Ask how to be a more pleasant person who leaves situations better and makes people attached to you. Techniques and shortcuts, if subtle and underhanded. - [ ] GAP: in-order thinking—sequence of logical steps that require accurate linking - [ ] Watch another Dr. Jia video - [ ] Ask GPT how to make sure my brain does more than one thing when it’s processing input. - [ ] Group all responsive TPN training notes into categories - [ ] Memorize Responsive Framework Fallback giant phrases - [ ] Ask how to reverse-engineer craft techniques and how to apply them - [ ] Practice four-step or more implication chain like ‘earthquakes don’t kill people’ buildings collapsing kill people. They handle it, it’s their fault. - [ ] Ask GPT about best encoding strategies