# 02, Sunday 1. Double down on strengths 2. Determine the path of least resistance 3. Growth Mindset - everything is a learning experience ## Intentions: 1. Write a 300-word review on What It Means To Be Malaya 2. Write a review of both the adaptation and original source of Devotion 1. Why read books you hate? 3. Write explanatory email to Cat Rambo. ## Happenings: Realized something I sorely lack today: the onus to “show off.” I’ve lost my context-dependent expertise not only because of events but because I have slowly outgrown the desire to be seen as brilliant. No more pride. I hate myself for realizing this. Could it be that the major reason why I’ve seemingly lost the thread on so many opinions and culture and even thought itself is because I was suffering from an acute sense of wanting to prove myself, to be better than Audrey, to be seen as intelligent, just so Prof. Falgui can see how I matter? I do not recognize the Abby that wrote the book reviews and the papers on Bronte and the many diary entries I have yet to imbibe again just to regain my footing on the world. I’ve truly somehow lost my main lens, the way I see the world, the way that society works, the way that I think and feel. I feel numb, rootless, and stupid today. How could I have written all of those words half-knowing and only going by my notions? I truly need this job to be part of Ateneo University Press Review Crew not only because I need to regain the skill of how to react again, but also because I need it more than Clarion West. I am so unskilled and ignorant. I cannot let my past dictate my future anymore. I feel the world needs more human oversight, for one. I cannot let my motivation to be seen as important like Sydney’s Clarion experience influence my actions from here on out. Also, the desire to one up someone, just a thought.