# 4, Saturday Like literally my dad a few weeks ago said that he only went to church with my mom so that he could go after her and not really church back when they were dating. And now he seems to be more religious than her. It’s literally Mike and Audrey’s story, where Catholic man leaves former religion to be baptized into the woman’s church. How cute. Like literally botyful people deserve God’s love! They get all the nice things in life. The two best looking faculty in the DECL are now both baptists. HAHAHAHAHA. ## — ????????????????? I have a sneaking suspicion… — what if i really do have remote viewing????? I wrote that critical essay intro days or weeks before buying the Playboy issue his story was in, a story which I’d never read before. What state was I in when I wrote it? I originally wrote backyard but thought it sounded too American. So I wrote potluck instead. I don’t know where I got the idea for ants. Giant coincidence, or useless superpower. The caterpillar in his story appeared near the start also. IT WAS PUBLISHED IN PLAYBOY!! I WAS WRITING ABOUT PORN. ???????????????? THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK!!!!!!! WHERE ELSE HAVE I MANIFESTED THIS? Strange detail, how could a caterpillar bite on a child in his story exist in an overwhelmingly erotica story, and my ant bite on a child exist in a porn critical essay? Lord I am not ready to write about this yet. I feel my head is smashed open. I don’t know it feels mushy. Now I gotta write my INCs. — OMG Prof. Sanchez’s line in “To the Memory of Nipples and Whiskeys”: “Ang sakit naman po” is exactly how I imagine Lyesha would act like if she is a prosti. How do you even imagine this stuff? — This is exactly why probably a lot of guys can’t abstain before marriage. Just as how I can’t maintain my studies anymore because of a feeling, not necessarily of a reality, of general no-dopamine through positive feedback of any sort like medals, high grades to maintain etc., they will have no motivation to proceed with all the other mating rituals. I mean how would that even work? Does that mean that Christian courtship/dating is customized? Like some really need a short timeframe or “speed-dating” of some sort so they don’t run out of steam or what? I mean I’ve been dragging this degree for eight and plus years and I barely have anything to show for it. — Ok, I now realize I’m in my depressive part of the bipolar condition. I remember feeling on top of the world in January, but also really emotionally volatile and had so many crying bouts. I am either in that, or autistic burnout. WELL WELL WELL DOUBLE WHAMMY. NICE ONE. I have unexplained body aches on my body once again, which is scary. My hands and feet ache for no reason. I have energy crashes throughout the day. I can’t even get a nap in because I drank coffee or because my mind won’t shut up. Also the pseudo ADD. I’m fully convinced I’m really average IQ. It’s just that I have a very obsessive personality or hyperfocus if I am _that_ motivated and manage to pull off impressive things once in a while, at least, to me anyway. I noticed my sister, who doesn’t seem to have any interest in science things, got higher grades than me in math subjects like Math 100, and GE 1 in an exam. I really thought I tried in those exams but she is better than me apparently and she managed to have a social life as well. WTF brain nga. And she’s younger than the regular age that’s supposed to be for that grade level or year, because she got accelerated when we were younger, whereas I didn’t. Maybe she really is the better more intelligent one. Children who are exposed to harder subjects may develop better neural pathways especially as compared to her age she got exposed to harder subjects than me, and also, she didn’t skip biology, and also, she got transferred to OCGS in 2nd year, which really prepared her. Earlier OCGS education plus the being accelerated part plus her not being neurodivergent plus devoting her neurons to social things instead of brooding about being ugly really were a quadruple whammy. Explains why she graduated magna. I don’t have to feel bad because acceptance and all, but it makes you think. — nursing what seems to be a mild illness or semi-developing fever coming on. idk even know at this point. also, headache. — > figured out a brain quirk of mine while doing photo edits. it tends to ignore obvious things and finds ways or explanations for other things that are more complicated esp. with technical information. like with how i just had to press the button and i really didn’t think to because i thought it wasn’t for that function, and it turns out it is the answer. > > <aside> 🔑 Edit: Jun 22: I just remembered why this is so. Your brain does a thing where it thinks it will recall immediately the information, so it doesn’t really “store” it. It’s just floating there to be washed away by onslaught of other info. I dk why that is. It’s just so “obvious” in the moment of encountering it, as I did the first time I was able to do the button function, that I no longer could recall doing it again when I was supposed to recall it. Maybe my brain does the “oh you’ll remember this” automatically, which of course, it doesn’t. Not always. Not unless there’s a direct meaningful link between the info and the process of thinking, like your thought processes. →thing→thing which reminds you of thing→thing that links to the object→the button function. I wonder how smart people with good memory seem to achieve this. Some kind of privilege. What is in their brains that makes them able to recall things automatically without even trying? The savant people? THE MMM THING WHICH LINKS AUTOMATICALLY TO YOUR OWN SPECIAL BRAIN LANGUAGE PLEASE USE THAT YOU WILL THANK YOURSELF!!!!!! > > </aside> ### —METACOGNITION HEY HEY HEY DO MORE OF THESE YOU WILL THANK YOURSELF