# 20, Monday In a manic episode right now. I am calm tho. I just can’t sleep even though I took 5mg melatonin. I just remembered a random memory, one of my earliest from childhood. I remember placing Ally on my stomach and launching her up using my abdominal strength at age 4 or so. Lol, if she remembers she probably thinks I got innocent pleasurable feelings from it. I actually didn’t because I can quite remember the strain of trying to launch her really high up as if I was a spring ride in a circus just so I can see her laughing. It actually really pained me. Weird thing is that I seem to remember a lot of things when I am on moda or manic or both. --- <aside> 🔑 **JUST THINK OF WHAT YOUR MISSION IS!!!!! YOU ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING BITTERNESS BECAUSE OF YOUR JEALOUSY OVER EDEN’S SPOILS. EDEN’S SPOILS. IT IS BEAUTIFUL. IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL BUT SATAN RUINED IT ALL. WHO STARTED THIS MESS? IT WAS SATAN. THAT IS WHY HE WILL ALWAYS BE THE ENEMY. HE WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN LIKE HUMANS.** </aside>