At that point right now where I feel very inferior. I feel like I’m not doing nearly enough. Not enough productivity. Not enough reading. Not enough writing. Not enough being a good steward of my talents. I feel like I should be operating at a much more advanced level than where I am now. I look at all these people who read more than 10 books a month and I find it incomprehensible how you could do that. Do they just have better reading skills than I do? All because the “reading” that I did all those years trying to jumpstart my career was not really anything substantial? I mean, I collected books left and right. Ebooks, I mean. Downloaded all from libgen. Probably in the 500s or more. But I never really completed any of them. In my estimate I probably only read about less than ten books completely since I went to college. More short stories, but not a whole lot either. Is that why my reading speed is stalling? My thought processes feel so slow and sludge-like. I feel like I think slower than most people. I’m a 24-year-old Creative Writing student and I’ve not read a single [[Shakespeare]] play (with the exception of [[Romeo]] and [[Juliet]] with [[Sparknotes]]). I’ve not really read a famous classic. I can list them on my fingers. Let’s see,... Well, I came up with nothing. I don’t even remember what I’ve read. I remember being enthralled by [[Naomi Alderman]]’s [[The Power]]. I tend not to finish novels I start. I still think The Hunger Games trilogy is the best ever written and edited books. Maybe I just need to get used to this regular reading plan, and maybe my reading speed and comprehension might catch up. — Injected writing that I did not write and which I remembered just now from my old computer that got wiped/corrupted: [not verbatim] “You fall in love with the little things from the past. Nothing personal, just circumstance, is all.” I can’t find it in my iCloud Notes. Somebody really hacked me. I didn’t imagine it. What mind state would I have had to be in to write that, if I was indeed the writer? SOMEBODY HACKED ME. SOMEBODY IS STILL HACKING ME EVERY DAY. WHY DO I FIND IT SO HARD TO BELIEVE? Do I still believe that compsci “hackers” don’t really exist? And that if they did, they would be indecently expensive? Do I believe that Apple products can’t be hacked? Why did I have to be hacked? Also, “He was more attractive than I was. And all these women told him he could do better than me. And eventually he’d come to think the same.” “That’s an incredibly sad way of thinking.” “It’s not what I think. It’s just the way things are.” HUH? I can’t find it my iCloud either. Also, the piece of writing with the “wild animal opening up to you...new routes or new roads into something that you know intimately” or something like that. I remember that as well. Like, why, aside from hacking me, would they inject things I did not write? And my blog... MY BLOG. The one where I wrote “Why I Don’t Subscribe to the Idea of True Love.” It had all these passages inserted about God which I clearly did not write because I went through an agnostic phase. I wasn’t that religious in high school nor after high school. How could I have written that? I didn’t, which is the most logical explanation. How did they find out about my blog? I have no clue. There is this message right now in my Insta from an account called leonardodicapr95 sent three days ago. “Thank you for your love and endless support” What? Bait probably. Like wrong send if that was unintentional. HOW IS HACKING ME SUSTAINABLE??????????? BURNING MONEY LEFT AND RIGHT!!!!!!!! I marvel at how this is still ongoing. Are they really going to keep doing this? What if I graduate? Will they stop hacking me then? Are you all really going to pool resources into hacking me for years? Why? What is the purpose? I didn’t consent to this. I don’t know why people think this is okay. I want to be left alone. Sometimes I have this fantasy where I’m whisked in a room full of faculty explaining what they did and why right after graduating. Like will I get some kind of reparation or restitution for all the emotional damage and psychological issues I developed as a result of this. I doubt this is ever going to happen though. I can count on people being psychopaths more than them being real humans. ### Grateful For: Salmon with lime sauce dinner!!! ### Action Items: Pre-advising Google Meet 3PM