For all the toxicity that UP put me through, I still really miss the libraries. Especially CS Lib. I don’t know why but remembering it brings me so much nostalgia. A time before I was... something. — -I was able to do dishes today. God help me become more of a better daughter by contributing to chores. -I experienced envy when I realized I’m the only unloved woman (adult) in the family. I know I have God, and that’s supposedly enough, and I do affirm that it’s enough especially in times of acute suffering, and even though I have chocolates from my parents, seeing my mother’s roses from my dad, and seeing my sister’s Yellowcab treat from her boyfriend, it just hurts. Knowing they have that because the man saw something in them first, their beauty. I want to disappear but I know God has a purpose for this pain. -I was able to reaffirm how God is working in my life by reading OYPW. Got to the part about journals and I looked at my prayer journal and saw how he answered my Kindle cases prayer today. Even though the answer is a definitive no, “eh, I have a much better plan for you than selling Kindle cases.” -Woke up at 1PM. Get it together. -Woke up at 7 actually, it’s just that I felt too groggy and told myself “just thirty minutes” after I ate breakfast with the fam. -Seeing other celebrities get romantic on social media just makes me even sadder. Just can’t avoid the “single problems.” Or can’t completely avoid social media. -I don’t exactly know why I have this problem—my time getting sunk into things I forget I did. Like for hours earlier I was browsing possible thesis topics. I don’t think it’s a waste of time but I feel like I have not enough time to read them all, and all the books I’ve downloaded and put in Notion are once again in a vacuum of suspended time. I have no time at all, at this point. I’ll be consumed by studying and writing for my classes, THREE VERY DEMANDING CLASSES. I will be bogged down by fatigue I can tell. I pray I will be able to achieve these classes’ learning goals.