You were very good at resisting temptation from preschool to grade school to high school. Like, from Shekinah to OCGS you were the most obedient kid around. You excelled because you followed rules. And then suddenly UP introduced you to new freedoms and you slowly but almost suddenly went... the opposite direction. And when you failed to graduate on time, there was (acc. to motivation science from HubermanLab) no negative reinforcing anymore. You didn’t graduate on time, so what’s the point of sticking to deadlines anymore. You underloaded one sem and it was the major killer of your drive to get good grades, because you no longer had the chance to become cum laude or college/university scholar. You weren’t able to develop the skill of doing unpleasant or neutral tasks because all you focused on was trying to get published or write scifi stories. Like all of it slowly eroded your ability to delay gratification. Now, every time you delay gratification, you train yourself. You are not weakening your willpower stores. You are training, just like meditation, to focus your energies on something more meaningful than dopamine. Now if you can only apply this every single time. I’ll be waiting at the end of 2022. -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT. You will never improve at the rate you’re going now. You will never do anything great unless you change. Make it a rule: no music while under the effects of moda. You wasted a good 5 hours. ```jsx moda: 1/2 tab ``` — 1. He was just doing his job. 2. “Everything is permitted, not everything is beneficial” Bible verse. 3. OH GAWSH HE LIKES BLENGBLONG — Wasted the whole afternoon. Tried to nap but couldn’t. Good intentions =/= Good actions. I just want to curl up and sleep. ## Intentions: 1. MAKE A VOW: THIS IS THE LAST DAY YOU WILL NOT EXERCISE. 2. This close to quitting moda for good. I don’t like the effects anymore. Sleepy yet not able to sleep. ## Happenings: Day 2: cannot get past the taste of beer. Maybe it really is an acquired taste. 10:15PM: Ok, I now understand why some people drink beer to fall asleep. This is such a zombie day. The only thing I did today was Bible study, meditation, and the Quotidian writer video on Show vs. Tell. And I didn’t even finish that one because I told myself I would continue it after I got some Fil 115 work done. ## Grateful For: 1. Not succumbing to base desires. Not turning manic under moda a.k.a. hyper-emotional. 2. Two scifi ideas or prompts. ## Action items # Getting ready for February: 1. Optimize SLEEP. Aside from exercise, sleep is VERY IMPORTANT. Regular bedtime and wake up time. Your brain and body will thank you a year from now. You will be like a drunk person if you even sleep for 6 hours. You need a minimum of at least 7, 8 ideally. 2. Get more gold star days. You got 8 stars in total. 4 silver, 4 gold. Unless you manage to pull off 2 additional excellent days (written on 29). Aim for at least 15 per month. Baby steps. 3. Classes start Feb 7. You have to prepare. This is CL122 and CW199 we’re talking about. And you have a ton of INCs to complete. 4. Colossians 3:23-24: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 5. Do you ever wonder how super productive people finish high-stakes projects? Wouldn’t you think they’ve trained themselves so well that they’re not actually opposed to work anymore not so much that they love work as they’ve learned to set themselves free from things such as frivolities that sink time? Remember your roommate Keziah, who was said to have more than 24 hours in a day because she got so much done. What really pulls you down isn’t your work volume or productivity being low but the amount of time you spent on other things that don’t really matter. Sure, there’s a time and place for enjoyment, but if you want to maximize the strengths God has given you, you have to train. Hard. That sacrifice will pay off in eternity. 6. SUPERWOMAN SUNDAYS. Starting Jan 30.