## Intentions: 1. TO ACTUALLY START FIL 115 WORK ## Happenings: Woke up at 7:30 AM but decided to go back to sleep and wake up at 9:30 so I could get 7 hours because I slept at 2:30AM. Also because I didn’t want to eat breakfast with my mom who finds a way to piss me off constantly. I was a little snappy when I answered her question because I just woke up. And then she has the “maturity” to say something like, “Are you sure Jesus is in your heart?” it sounds a lot worse in Bisaya. Like super condescending “holier-than-thou” bullshit. Fuck. I know I said I shouldn’t swear. My own mother makes me stumble in my faith. God sees this bullshit happening in real time. He must. I instead prayed I wouldn’t get angry and though it didn’t really help much at least I didn’t lash out. Maybe it’s an attack on my ego. Maybe I need to learn humility or something. Or meekness. Who cares what my Joel-Osteen-Joyce-Meyer-churched mother thinks? — I increasingly cannot tell if the mature response, that is, to feel pity for my mother’s false maturity, is only posturing on my part. Like I’m feeling pity to displace anger so that I feel better about myself because I think my mother is beneath me. Lord help me. I don’t want to feel good about myself or feel good but be in the wrong. What is supposed to be the correct response? --- — 1. Watched Shakespeare webinar. 2. Got cut off from the webinar. 3. Ate dinner. 4. Marriage Story Netflix. 5. Songs wholesome 6. Marriage Story Netflix cont. while drinking beer San Miguel 7. Did not do Fil 115. Contemplating just giving up and retaking it. I can’t do a whole-ass presentation in two days. ## Grateful For: 1. An idea? Animated/Stop-motion adaptation of A Map of Pain. Like Anomalisa? I like the weirdness of that movie. cons: huge amount of money.