Really weird how I woke up with "Cry Baby" by Melanie Martinez ringing in my head. It's like I wasn't even asleep. Half-asleep maybe. I woke up with the trail of its chorus repeating over and over again. Don't know why. I don't even like that song so much. Maybe it's just earworm. I'm slightly paranoid because I don't like it when I don't know what my brain is up to. Am I just mindlessly absorbing these messages from these songs my brain thinks are important enough to rehash in dreams? Anyway, woke up, feeling really "bul-og." I hate this feeling. Things I did today: 1. Essential routines except for exercise. Journal, meditate, Bible study, read book(s) and article. 2. Was able to make the exercise tracker and excellence silver or gold star sticker calendar. 3. Partially migrated my Obsidian entries to Notion 4. Watched Zoe (2018). Some kind of closure was there. ## Happenings: 1. So my mom did the “wala kay nahuman” spiel again after berating me for being too busy for her relaxing Sunday whine aka “watch Netflix with fam.” She has no idea I’m trying to improve my life, which is what I keep telling myself to stay sane. I almost lost it again. One moment she could be massaging my legs like a loving mother and the next she’s a full blown narcissist with her ammo against my self-esteem. From her point of view, I’m just a bipolar “imbalanced” freeloader who doesn’t do anything to improve her life. Well, guess what mom, I was actually readying my calendar trackers so I could be more productive when you were whining at me. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me such a mother. To teach me self-control? She is such a bitch to me.