? Backslid + read [[ALL_GO]] again. DAFUQ. I sometimes think I already know what it's like to die. Not going to hell, but the dying part. I died in 2019 a lot. I wouldn't want to call it hell now even though what I experienced in those moments I could in the past only describe as hellish. Maybe hell is completely pleasant but in a very uncanny way, like you can't put your finger on it but something is amiss, and then it slowly starts to collapse. But then it's pleasant again, and it's hopeful, just the right amount of hope. And then it turns bad again, but then the string is taut again. Something is actively switching the ground. Without some happiness you can't fully appreciate sorrow.