‘has to surrender privacy’ ‘hackerella’ grab engagement map llamas hall or another building wherein I saw mocha on an org table rollercoaster being hacked in december vomiting in a mr chips bag buying gluta caps at snr being recognized everywhere and knowing it without proof writing an unfinished draft with mon sy’s and tim ong’s screenshots ending up writing mixed messages out of anger at mon sy’s tweets willingness to believe my draft was the craziest and most amazing  science ampitheater microaggressions uptc microaggressions picking up garbage and overhearing ‘kasal’ from AS steps watching nabokov/lolita in the sala almost crying because of my ~~jaw~~ genetics in the sala shoes flyknit him in the student lounge the look on his face on april 12 taking pictures of ~~shit~~ taking pictures of flowers taking pictures of a swing set and accepting perceived compliments  taking pictures of people in a squatter area being toyed with emotionally him in the elevator numbers on trees outside PI100 class making up a general ancestral house drawing inanimate things instead of people at starbucks that nonfiction philip k. dick book after that day magkano ang flan man looking at liza poster at nbs that ken liu quote about kindness distributed responsibility anger levels of demeaning  being forced or the feeling of being forced or coerced wanting to drop out in the middle of a sem being forced to read because i would get temporary relief the artificiality of the relief short-lived elations the feeling of sinking acceptance after a furious bout of crying embodiment of a living nightmare being overheard crying  relishing trainwreck cases and seeing how far i would go planned and planning  on call torture agents  overall stupidity reinforced associations i have not worked through anxiety shot up to levels i would never imagine could be livable 'might as well continue private or state-funded project since irreversible damage has been done’ thinking and disbelieving that i have paid trolls to harass me of varying degrees of intelligence thinking they are paid in the first place thinking how convenient covid was and that at least one of them is bound to die thinking this is not christian behavior but sin nature is real is the anger justified and asking if i was gaslighted or being gaslighted currently not knowing what exactly people have in mind when they continue to read me why everyone i know knows and more ma’am joy’s perfume in the student lounge screenmlay being locked out of sister’s condo