i. Somebody out there has created an algorithm/lifeplan that will accurately predict if I commit something I would regret or do something good. I would bet [but I wouldn't] that algorithm since it's 11.11 today and @caesuras said something about predicting everything within range down to my thoughts. WTF??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? I do not ever want the possibility that I could kill myself in the far future but if that's in the algorithm or life plan then I have to work in the opposite direction so the chances of that happening would turn in my favor. I know prayer works but it's all materials all the way down to the chemicals in my brain. ii. I did not intend to "threaten to end" again [above point] but the phrasing made it sound like I would. I'm still afraid of the person I could become in the future. iii. "Not the only person he has been doing this to" was written because I thought the other girl in the plaid black and red polo [once again forgot who she was] tweeted about "sodomy" and her having interpreted things positively because she was also attracted to Prof. Mike. I doubt my memory a lot but I don't think I'm making this up. That was the only instance and I guess, I also interpreted things positively because I felt the same. He probably looked me in the eye because he did think I was a lesbian because I wrote "heteronormative" in the exam [and possibly he thought the same of the other girl]. iv. In order to settle the subjective experiences I am planning to schedule a conference at the main library vii. I have fully accepted my complicity and delusions and I no longer hold any opinion that there is a romantic end on my end. The limerence is still present but it was all based on memories or snapshots that don't belong to me.