So today, Kuya Chito and Ate Dimple visited us here at UP and we ate at Wings Stop in Trinoma. The Garlic Parmesan Bites were delicious in a new and different way that I've never encountered before. Also, they bought us really good groceries, all full of goodies and candy and cup noodles. I can't wait to eat them all. Also, I know that I'm too lazy to have any of these ambitions, but dang it, I just have to try. I have lots of dreams and goals and I never seem to even get started on them because I'm always distracted. Also, what I really want to do is to show people how it's done. I mean, with people like Alexa Bacong, Kate Tumala, Essa Santos, e.g. people who think they're the shit when it comes to writing. I mean, I know Kate probably doesn't think too much of her writing. I mean, it's regurgitated fan fiction. Not worthy of any introspection. I suspect it's what people want to read anyway, because it's light and not hard to digest. And as for Alexa, I don't know what the deal is with her, but I just feel like she's a try hard. I mean, she uses these obscure thesaurus synonyms of words to try and mask her limited faculties in English. Trying to sound high brow and mature. Well, it backfired. At least to me. I think with all the writing she does on Facebook, she's probably going to improve a little bit, but I don't really think she's going to be great at it. As for Essa, that smug bitch who thinks she's the queen of everything. I mean, she really does. One look at her Facebook profile communicates that she thinks she's the pinnacle of attractiveness and wit. I'm not even joking. It's not explicitly stated. I don't know if it's just me, but every post feels braggy and show-off-y. I don't like her one bit, and I must beat her at her own game, because unfortunately, she writes really well. Here i am, behind the screen, looking at the lives of these people with disgusting envy. It goes without saying that I hate myself. Yes, I'm insecure. That seems to be a permanent feature of Abby ever since she discovered that other people were better than her. I'm not saying I'm the best. It just sucks to be overshadowed by people you despise. Lord, I'm sorry, I just had to get all of that bitterness out, and instead of letting these thoughts poison my mind, I had to let them out here in this journal. Help me become a great writer not for the sake of 'showing them' or something. Because I noticed this pattern in my life, where I'm only motivated by other people's success. Why can't I be self-driven? Or better yet, driven to live up to Christ's glory? I really need You God to fix my life. I need to change.