Ok, use a mind-fuck metaphor which compares being left feeling like you were fucked so hard after an exam. --- My body is fighting for sleep, but I just can't seem to get myself into bed if I don't write about today. Well, today wasn't extra-extraordinary. My family and I watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens and we ate at Shakey's after. Also, I bought a journal. I just want to be the best that i can be. And I feel a tad bit too conflicted and angry and frustrated with equal parts of sad and tired because I can never live up to my own expectations, never mind everyone else's. I feel like I had failed a standard that if I'd followed it and stuck closely to discipline, I'd have ended up happier with good grades and a high paying job in the future that can finance what I really want to do. And that's writing.