Sometimes, I wonder if I'm truly meant to be in computer science, and by sometimes, I mean almost every 10 minutes. --- Ruminated for a bit and I just realised, I have no natural intuition to fall back on. Because I wasn't trained to be math-minded. All the things I answer on tests are a result of memorising and applying formulas which I've memorised. It's all in memory, but I don't know why they don't really stick. Maybe my brain doesn't want anything math related to stick. It's like it's coated with oil and all the informational sugary math-heavy goodness slides right off. I don't know how to study for long term. I better improve or I won't graduate with honors. How can I compensate for a lack of math intelligence? All my life I've been trained in procedural intelligence, because piano. And it's such a linear path. I don't have to think. I just have to practice again and again because it'll eventually stick. I have to work on this. I also have to stop drinking juice. And soft drinks. --- Well, I can't say I'm ready for any of the shit that's going to go down this week and the next.