I'm writing in the math building right now, and in less than two hours, I'm going to be taking my last math long exam. Also, I actually accomplished that vigsar cipher a few days ago. I wouldn't have thought I'd be able to do it. --- I feel like every neuron inside my brain is so bloated already that there's no more space left. I'm not even sure if that's how it works because i don't like biology. I just took the math exam earlier. It was only like 7-8 items. But they were HARD. Anyway, I want to know what my standing is. Oh, and I have an exam on Saturday, Physics 71, which I haven't studied for. --- Man oh man, I owe this journal and my blog literally thousands of journal entries? I mean what else am I supposed to do when I'm an adult besides read what 18-year-old me thought about. Maybe adult me would've completely changed and become an extrovert. Who knows? Blog ideas include: UP hell week aftermath DPWAS Duterte blog post (possible) --- I wasted my whole afternoon doing nothing but trying to make that blasted word lookup program work, which it didn't. I hate myself now. Sometimes, I think it was a mistake that I shifted out of bio, but I seriously really like compsci loads better than bio. At least I actually am sort of slightly interested, and that's probably enough, at least. For now. I have to step up my system. Because one thing I've learned but never really cared enough to apply is that any worthy endeavour with the best intentions and ambition falls apart without a good system for implementation. Such a mouthful. I know. But I really, seriously need to be efficient. It's a need. It's something I am dying to achieve. But the only thing that's been stopping since DAY 1 of my college experience is myself. My excuses, my apathy, my apparent tendency to easily give up when the solution seems to take too long for me to figure out by myself, and how other people seem to effortlessly breeze through the flames. I hate it. I wish I wasn't myself. IT wasn't always like this. I don't remember much about my piano endeavour when I was younger but I don't remember ever feeling forced to do it. I know now that piano isn't so useful, but why did my younger self have the discipline and better self-control than me now? I mean, isn't that something that's supposed to improve with time? Or am i just wrong, and that my surroundings (internet duh) destructively ate away at my attention span, and now, I can't really concentrate or apply myself. I AM THE ONLY ONE LIMITING MYSELF. EVERY EXCUSE EFFECTIVELY ADDS UP TO A LOWER GWA. How do I not realise this after almost two years of college????? --- I just came from a meeting downstairs and there were like only four cor-reps besides me. And that guy Joshua was one of them. I noticed he had a slightly bald haircut, or is that now how they call it. Anyway, he looked better with more hair. Also, I am so tired. I haven't even studied for the last physics LE and I'm really scared because it might mean that I won't pass it. --- Lol, remember how I promised to report back about my 2nd LE physics 71 score? Well, I actually got 19, but my guess wasn't that far off, only 1-2 points away. So I probably know how I'm going to do. I'm going to measure how much I think I'll do before the exam, and compare it with how I actually did after they give the results back. And then I'm going to adjust my studying accordingly. If all goes well according to plan, maybe I can raise my GWA to 1.45 or higher next semester, when i'll be taking discrete math and CS 12, Math 54 and physics 72. HOLY Macaroni. I am probably going to be 10x stressed out next semester, and on top of that, we just had a meeting earlier with this very Dolores Umbridge-type woman. I mean, I don't know if she's really naturally like that, or if she's just trying to impose her authority, but seriously, people who came to UP didn't come here to have parties with people they don't really know or like in the residence hall when they're supposed to be studying their asses off. Residence halls shouldn't have so much activities, and they're practically useless and lame anyway. All that wasted effort and money and for what? We won't even remember or even want to remember anything that has to do with it, unless it's actually awesome, which it usually isn't. Because you know why? An awesome party requires lots of money and people don't want to be forced to shell out money for something this sub-par. It's all for naught. IT IS IT IS IT IS. I just wanted to tell her that earlier but I didn't, and of course I wouldn't because I'd probably be kicked out and never be able to apply to another UP dorm ever again. --- So this is the year where I have the most journal entries. This is the year when I documented the most of my life and can actually track what happened between days and days. I can say that I'm happy about it at least. --- LOL I WONDER WHAT MY GRADES ARE.