Starting to think how much of a failure I am. Meanwhile, my other classmates from high school are all having the time of their lives, being part of the dean's list, getting more attractive, and having more fun than I ever will. I can't believe I've sunk so low. So low. I am so tired. --- I don't want to be tired. I want to be energised and feel alive enough to do what I'm supposed to. Oh yeah, I forgot to write about today. So uh, nothing special really. I woke up at like 12:00pm in the afternoon after vowing for the nth time that I'd wake up early and jog. And then I dragged my ass to SC to eat at Mashitta. And then my sister texted me and said that we'd be attending church, which again, I don't really like (not the going to church part, just the people and the songs and the preaching). I'm so sorry, God. It's not that I'm backsliding, or maybe I'm on my way. But it's like I'm losing interest in everything. Even pleasing God. I've sunk so low. I don't know what this year (only three months left) will have in store for me before it transitions into 2016. --- Well there goes another wasted weekend. --- Goodbye hopes and dreams. Well, not if I actually try. I really want to be a University Scholar. But I'd have to get really good grades.