Just a few days ago I stalked Jhio Aranzaso on Facebook. I saw him earlier in the jeep. Weird, small world. --- AND, AND, I got 37.5/40 in the first math long exam! That's not really a perfect score but it's still an uno! --- Seems like my plans to "change" have been derailed again. Don't you get it Abby? Your mental health is at stake. You will never feel good about leisure if you don't eat the frog first. You don't deserve to reward yourself unless you've actually worked. --- Heartburn --- WILL YOU ACTUALLY CHANGE? JUST GIVE IT 21 DAYS. 21 DAYS OF PRODUCTIVITY MIGHT JUST EARN YOU SOME UNOS --- BABY STEPS, BABY STEPS. WHAT IF INSTEAD OF 1 UNO GRADE PER SEM, WHY DON'T YOU WORK IT UP TO TWO UNO GRADES? --- This year might just mark my all time low in terms of procrastination. I have let it consume my days, my hours. Instead of growing and being productive, I've knowingly and recklessly stunted my development. I'm supposed to be turning into an adult very soon. Why do I feel like I have literally no control over my mind? I have no control over my deeply entrenched habits. I have no control over my supposed "goals". I just sit idly, waiting. Dreaming. But not doing. ---- Lately I've noticed that I've written a lot of journal entries per day now. It's like I'm so disciplined when it comes to journaling about my problems but I don't do anything practical at all. Sure, I write about it. But I don't exactly think about the whole day. I just let my barbaric brain do all the controlling. Wasting my time on reddit, reading useless articles, doing every thing else but study. How can I let myself do this to my future self? PLEASE. --- I remember when I recently graduated grade school and I told my dad in the vernacular, "I'm tired." Which is what I'm feeling right now too. I'm perpetually tired. And uninterested in the things that are _supposed_ to interest me. If she knew then how many hurdles she has to face, well, she'd go mad. INSANE. I can't believe recent sixth grade grad me had the nerve to say that. But who's to say my 25 year old future self won't say the same about my 17-18 year old self. I'm almost 18. I'M ALMOST 18. WHAT. --- I wonder if I'll still be stuck in this cycle. --- You know what, I should just photoshop mock crs grades that are unos, so I'd be motivated. ---- I AM GOING TO GET PERFECT IN THE NEXT MATH EXAM. I CAN'T REALLY SAY THE SAME FOR PHYSICS…YET. --- The densest months according to my journal entries were August and September in 2014. I guess the trend is making a comeback. I mean, what happened in the months following that? My journal entries suddenly seemed to taper off. Not completely, but just noticeably enough. --- Why do i have such big man hands. I have the worst kind too. They're not just manly looking. They're muscly. As if I lift.