I am overwhelmed by how much I don't know. This looks hopeless, but it's not, with God's help. Oh look, I'm almost 18. I don't feel mature enough though. Every fiber of my being is fighting to get away from studying and just nap. Or go on Facebook. I think I will, for a couple of minutes. --- I brought this all on myself. It's almost too late now. I won't be able to copy the code and review the potential energy chapter. --- I just decided that I'm not gonna worry about something that'll only be 10% of my grade. --- Oh, I saw that Biraogo guy again. I think his name was Luigi, and we locked eyes as I went inside the Acacia lobby while he was coming out of the admin office. I don't know what to think. --- I feel like I have so much on my plate. i wish i didn't require sleep. But if nobody required that much sleep, i think they'll only make us do more stuff. --- I don't know what to do for the next math exam, which is on october 8. On top of that, I have to collect acquaintance party fees. OH GOD. Help me. I don't have much time. --- I WON'T write I "need" to change, because that changes nothing. I will write this instead: I WILL CHANGE. It takes will, and grit. Not dreaming fruitlessly about the day when I wake up and do what I told myself to do yesterday. But okay. Maybe it won't be as easy. I'll have to get rid of my reddit habit. Starting tomorrow, I'm holding myself accountable. I will no longer bend to my weaknesses. If that isn't enough to guilt me into doing what my goals entail, then I don't know what will. Honestly, I'm tired of waiting for that magical nonexistent day when I automatically become a happy zombie student who always, ALWAYS gets high grades because she doesn't stop working. I need to take actual steps. Action. Not inaction. Not daydreaming my life away while browsing three different subreddits. When I was younger, it was Pet Society, girlsense.com, etc. Then it became drawing. Then it became exercising. Then everything else. From tv shows, Breaking Bad, Sherlock, and now HTGAWM. I will never break out of this cycle if I let myself be sucked into this vapid world of entertainment.