I just have to get this off my chest before it festers into something like a mental disease. So today, after math class, I went to the bio building to follow up for the dropping, and lo and behold, there's a cork board with announcements and I look at it and I see a list of college scholars and university scholars. Most of my block made it. And as if that hadn't rocked my self-esteem already, I find out that my roommate is in fact, a university scholar. No, not a college scholar, but A FUCKING UNIVERSITY SCHOLAR. This is why i think I'm in the wrong course. I'm simply not meant to be in bio. I didn't even make the cut for the college scholar title. AND FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUCK. it's not that I'm looking down at her or anything, but I read her blog and most of what she says are inane and not even worded correctly. NONE OF THAT FUCKING MATTERS though, because her english 10 professor must've given her a high grade enough to be able to become a US. And there's the end of that. She's really really good at chem and bio and all that science shit if she managed to become a US. I know I'm being so bitter about it. Because I don't have it. I don't have what it takes. I just found out today what my math long exam grade was. IT was just a measly 28.5/40. And that's going to ruin any chance of my plans of shifting to Computer science. I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT TO DIE. JUST DROP DEAD FOR NO REASON. I DON't mean suicide, of course. Maybe a quick, painless, freak accident. But I imagine that would really break my parents. I can't. I have to rise up. Even if it means that I'll cry for ten minutes.