I don't know if this counts as a realisation, but maybe one of the main reasons why I kind of slack off now in college is that, when I was in high school, I was motivated to do well because I had to maintain a title - being one of the smartest people in class. But now in college, I'm grappling and struggling and sleep-deprived, and I guess I'm not used to being at the bottom. I have to get used to it. It kills my motivation because some part of me rules out that, "Why even try? You're not going to be the best anyway." I have to fight this attitude. Who knows? I might end up with a nice grade.