Okay, today is a Saturday and I woke up at 10:00 AM. We just had our first long quiz in Chemistry yesterday and I feel like I'll fail it because the professor said the answers after and I didn't get most of the items. Anyway, I treated myself to cake at Chocolate Kiss and ended up spending around 185. Ugh. I tried going to the CS Library and after walking for like hundreds of kilometres, I found out that it closed at 12:00 PM. So I had to walk to the Main Library instead. I sweat so much it's not even funny. And I think I'm attracted to my chemistry professor. I searched him on Facebook yesterday and his likes had Christian-related things which even made me like him more. From what I've seen, I think he goes to Victory, which my cousin and I went to a week or two ago. I don't really know if I'm the only one who thinks he's attractive but I don't care. I think he works out, because he looks a bit buff and he once wore an gym related shirt to class. Aaaaand… I almost got run over by a bike. Almost. Also, I can't help but feel so infuriated. If anyone read this, they would think I'm a bitch. But really, ever since I saw that Mr. And Ms. Freschie album on Facebook during the summer, I really wanted to be one of them. But sadly, I didn't even get informed about it or nobody asked me to join. Maybe it required me to sign up or something. Anyway, I had missed my chance. And this girl from my block got to be the representative and her picture got so many likes. I wonder if that were me, maybe I'd also get that many likes. I really wanted it. But I missed it. So I'm really frustrated, well, mostly resentful. Honestly, I don't even think that the girl is that pretty. I sound so mean. But I really wanted it. I feel so insecure nowadays. Nobody is paying me any attention now, but I didn't know how badly I needed positive reinforcement. You have to assume every single one of the students here are smart, even the pretty ones. I don't stand out at all, that's why I really badly wanted that Freschie thing to work for me. I'm invisible here. I don't have a lot of friends. I think the problem lies with the fact that I was raised to think that I was greater than everybody. I was always the smartEST. The BEST at piano. The best at academics. But here, well, I might just be at the bottom low. I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore. I want to study, but I get so distracted with everything else. I'm not naturally smart, I know that. So I have to put in the work. I'll probably push myself really hard when I get my Chemistry results back. It was 38 items, but I think I'll only get about 10. I'll report back on how accurate my guess is. Maybe it'll even be lower, maybe it'll be higher. So I'll put it at plus or minus 4 points at best. I think it was because I studies the wrong things. I didn't bother to review the past. But I guess that was the first quiz we ever had, so I'll really, REALLY learn from that. Speaking of getting motivated, I really want to get high grades too so that our professor won't think I'm stupid. I probably am, really. I just want to mask that by studying hard enough. Sometimes I wonder how I got into UP.