I am now checked out of the dorm and staying at a GoHotel. And, I still can't help but think of my chemistry professor more times than I can count. I just had a shower head orgasm. Yes, I know. I masturbate. I'm not guilty about it. I'm not going to get married anyway. I remember one time in class when Sir Carl took off his eyeglasses and I had the strangest feeling that he _looked_ at me but I couldn't really confirm that. Anyway, he's still gorgeous with/without the eyeglasses. I know he isn't _conventionally_ attractive, but as i've said before, he's still really hot for some reason. I don't even know why I have a crush on him. Sometimes, I just want to ask him why I feel like this, but that would be a bad idea. For one, I don't even talk to him. And now I'm stalking him on Facebook for the nth time. He's not really photogenic but I don't care. Also, I watched Mockingjay Part One today with my mom. --- ### I'M HOOOOOOME! And now I'm just waiting for the coffee to kick in so I can read my books properly. UPDATE: The coffee's still not kicking in. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!? I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY I STILL FEEL EMPTY WHEN I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPY NOW THAT I'M HOME. I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE A HEATED AND BURNING DESIRE TO BE DESIRED BY MY CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR. I'M NOT RATIONAL RIGHT NOW. I HATE THAT I FEEL SO SLEEPY. I REALLY WANT TO KNOW MY GRADES ALREADY. I WANT TO BE RESPECTED AND HELD IN HIGH REGARD AS BEFORE. I WANT TO FEEL SUPERIOR IN TERMS OF INTELLIGENCE AGAIN. I WANT TO WORK ON THAT BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS SEM HAS SAPPED ME OF ANY ENERGY TO START DOING SO. MAYBE THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL BEING BURNT OUT. I HAVE SUCH WEAK WILL. I WANT WANT AND WANT BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT EVEN THOUGH IT HURTS IF I DON'T DO ANYTHING.