Another frustrating Wednesday ugh. I got 17.5/24/5 in a DS which I know isn't bad but it isn't exactly great either. What exactly is preventing me from getting high scores? Even the people I clearly underestimated got higher scores than me. Why is that? It's like they learn so much faster than me and get stuff pretty quickly while I'm over here processing the overload of information quite helplessly. I know I perform really bad during tests. Why can't I see the big picture? Is it because I don't have much background on it? Is it because schools in Manila are generally better than the shitty private provincial high schools who bask in their highly inflated sense of competence while not really equipping their students with the necessary background and foundation to thrive in a harsh environment such as UP? What was I even thinking, going here and expecting to get really high grades without really putting much effort? I feel like crying right now. Well, not really. I'm just really, really frustrated. Why can't I learn quickly enough? And when I actually do manage to learn something, it goes somewhere else and I end up studying more because I keep on forgetting things. I tried to sleep earlier, or did I really? Why was it that in the last DS, I got a comparatively nicer score of 24.5 out of a possible 33. Oh wait. They're actually almost close. But I really do want to get higher grades, and my patience is just too short to wait for improvements. As in, I want high grades NOW, but I know realistically, that isn't possible given my limited capabilities. Do I have to read the book inside and out to become a master? I am so not looking forward to Chem 26 next semester. EDIT: I just read an article about how to become more efficient in terms of intelligence and cognitive performance and it basically says that I have to constantly expose my brain to mind-numbing problems because it will challenge my brain and make it grow. So that means that I have to like the feeling of discomfort when I attempt to solve something in Chemistry? That would be fine and all but it's quite risky because WE'RE BEING GRADED ON IT. If I wasn't graded, I would thoroughly put in the hours to study my ass off without worrying about what grade I'll get. Lesson learned: DO NOT COMPARE YOUR GRADES TO OTHER PEOPLE'S.