Wow, it's been a long time since I actually wrote here but from now on, I'll start writing what I truly feel. Yeah, most of the pages on here before this entry are written like, well, scripted and I think they're boring, not that my life is boring, well I just wanted to say that from now on I'll start writing what I feel and not like how I want others to read it. Okay, so it's already my second year in high school. Well, I won 2nd place in the ISC, and I admit I was a wee bit disappointed. I really can't tell anyone this, but I was really hoping that I could actually be first. Well, life's not fair so I'll just be content with that. Then it's almost my 14th!! I can't believe how time passes so fast. I was like 11 when I started writing here, and I also noticed that my handwriting changed- A WHOLE LOT! :D I'm getting older by the second. Now, I feel like I'm excited or sad, I don't know what this is. Sometimes I feel sad, other times happy and expecting something good to happen. Oh and yesterday, I mean last Friday we had our Buwan ng Wika celebration, and during the practices I asked Dav (a schoolmate) about what gossip he heard about me. I don't know the exact cause of why we were talking about gossip. Maybe the congo just led to the topic. IDK. So, he said that I broke someone's heart, kinda, well, not really break it but just, you know, bummed him out. THat person was Vince. Yep, the guy who I wrote about in the other pages, where he had a crush on me and I secretly had one on him too (never told anyone. Shh!) Dav says that He felt a little bit sad, in Dav's terms, "nasayangan" because I didn't really respond to his flirting or whatnot. I mean, it's not like I really ignored him, but I didn't really let him know that I liked him back too. Maybe that's why he's "nasayangan". He says that he really really liked me. TBH, I felt like a little bit happy that Vince really liked me, but I also kinda feel a little bit sad that maybe he doesn't like me anymore because i didn't really respond to his flirting. I mean, I can describe him as a sweet guy, he says hi to me always and I can't help but melt inside when he smiles with his cute eyes. He sometimes touches and strokes my ear and it sometimes gives me chills. He also touches my hair. Now, I can say that I'm loving' his attention but I sometimes also get annoyed. But I still can't help it! I mean I sometimes think that I'm not pretty but when he does these to me, I can't help but feel like I'm the prettiest girl in the world. :) I was just hoping he could get the clue and court me already, BTW, he asked me a month ago, if he was allowed to court me already. I said no, and said that my mom would find out, but deep down, I wanted to say yes. I don't really want to disobey my parents but I sometimes think that I want a relationship at this age. I know it's dumb. But I just want to experience it. I don't want to disappoint my parents, but sometimes I feel like rebelling you know? I think this is normal in being a teenager. I'm also afraid that if I do get into one, I would probably get punished severely. So I choose not to, but I can't help his cuteness! Just watching pictures of him on Facebook makes me smile. I low better that this is just infatuation. And I should probably stick to that philosophy. I should not get into relationships at this age. I am also faced with a lot of decisions. Uggh. Where to go to school next year, and many more. I've also been procrastinating a lot, something which I rarely do, when I was younger. I tell you, high school changes people - A LOT! Then there's my dreams and goals. I want to be a pianist/doctor/author/businesswoman/etc. I have a lot of big dreams. Honestly, I want to be famous sometimes. But I know that's not really good, and I also want to learn how to play guitar and violin, write books and more.