"Life is so unfair" - that statement pops in my head once in a while. Why I say that is because I sometimes think it is. More specifically, in the area of beauty. Uggh, don't get me started on that! I mean, I try to think that I'm not ugly but sometimes, well, it just happens! Especially when I read magazines or watch TV seeing skinny, model-perfect girls! They have perfect hair, perfect skin, a pretty face, toned body - you can name it all!! When I think of it, I feel bad about myself and ask myself these questions - Why didn't I get the "pretty" genes of my mom?! That thought just really sickens me. Every time I look in the mirror, I see my face and I think, "Why am I so plain-looking?!" In a country like this, they all admire fair skin - which I don't have! I searched the internet for kinds of body shapes and it showed me different kinds of body shapes like an apple (stores fat in the waist), a ruler (think and balanced), a pear (stores fat down the waist - my shape), and the ever elusive "hourglass" - considered to be the perfect body shape for women. You cannot imagine my disappointment when I read that the pear shaped women cannot lose weight easily like the others! I mean, how unfair is that? I think I have the worst body shape and I can't even lose weight proportionately? That is so - aaaaargghh!! And the worst thing is, my mother, is an hourglass!! Question is - why am I a pear? My mother is an hourglass, I should be too. That thought just makes me sad. My mom also has deep-set eyes, and she is mestiza, and I'm not. I have bulging eyes-like dad's, average-not-really-long legs, and I have my dad's feet and hands. I think this is a bad combination. And you know what else? My sister has most of their "good genes"! Well, at least I think she does, but she thinks she's plain-looking too! She's got my grandpa's white skin! She's got long, long legs, wide set eyes, and a slender body! And to think we came from the same woman! When people meet us for the first time, they say, "Oh, you're so pretty," which I think aimed more at my sister than me. Some of them even say, "Your sister looks like your mom, but you look like your dad!" What is that supposed to mean? That I'm not as pretty as both of them? I think she's even going to grow taller than me! I get the picture already! She IS the prettier one!! It's like a blow to my face why my genes could have given me beauty. I could have inherited my mom's deep-set eyes. I could have had my dad's long legs, my grandpa's skin, wide set eyes, an hourglass figure! I could name it all for crying out loud! But why is this all important to me? That's the part that I don't get! Why? Is it because I'm insecure of myself? I remember those days when I feel pretty and confident, but then I see a perfect, fair-skinned pretty girl, my self-esteem goes from 99 to 5.